SPEAKER_01: 0:00

And sometimes we have to really keep it real with ourselves that just because a thing is good and you have a good reason doesn't mean it's what God has allotted for you to do with your time. Like I feel like sometimes I am, I call it productive procrastination, where I know I gotta do one thing, but I don't really wanna do that thing. So I start cleaning the kitchen and doing a load of laundry, and then I'll start vacuuming. And it's one thing that I was supposed to do two days ago that really is not that important. I'll make sure I go ahead and do that, all because I don't feel like, let's say, filming content, right? But I know I gotta film the content. We do this in life. We will procrastinate productively. So that looks like picking a good thing to do over the great thing you're supposed to be doing. What's up, y'all? It's your girl Lish Speaks, and welcome back to another episode of your favorite podcast, I'll just let myself in. It is the podcast where we let ourselves into our God-given doors, and we don't wait for an imaginary permission slip or some seat at an imaginary table. We literally walk through the door. And uh today we're going to be hopping in to a solo episode where I talk about the questions that I'm asking myself going into this year, going into this first quarter. Uh, if you need a title in our podcast, most of our titles are entitled Into Something. And I've decided to entitle this one Into Questions. But first, we're back. It's been a minute. We haven't done this in a minute, but we are back with our segment, my favorite segment in podcasting called What I'm Stepping In, is where I let you know what I am stepping in, what sneakers I am wearing. And today I am wearing the Jordan 1 bespoke collaboration with Union. I love this sneaker. I feel like this is one of the most creative versions of the Jordan 1 that has ever been made. And these sneakers came out when the Jordan 1 was being overdone, slightly oversaturated. And I feel like Union was able to separate themselves from what was being done with the Jordan 1 and to really just be creative. There's weaving, there's texture, there's um, you know, angles, there's symmetry. It just, they just got it completely right for me. I love this shoe. I actually think um it's underrated. I think a lot of people weren't checking for this shoe the way that I felt like they should have. Um, or or like you can even tell by the prices on the resale market that this shoe didn't necessarily get uh the acclaim that I feel like it deserved, but it's an incredible shoe. I think it's one of them shoes that uh when we're talking about collaborations in in five to ten years, this will be one of them special shoes that people talk about. So today I got in the Jordan 1 Union Collab, and you know what we say here. If you like them, go get you some. Okay, so I am really in a very introspective space, which is not unusual for me. Um, I'm pretty introspective, but I do think that I feel a shift in the way that I am starting to think about the things that I do and why I do them. And I also feel like I'm I'm experiencing a shift in understanding how I want to move forward, particularly when it comes to my personal life in one sense and then my business and professional life in the other. And so I was thinking about, you know, some of the things that I want to work on this year, and something came up for me that comes up very commonly, and that is my conviction about being curious about oneself. If you've had a conversation with me more than once, uh, or even just once, I've probably spoken to you about my feelings on curiosity. Um, I think being curious is what really makes life lived well, makes a life lived well. Um, people who lack curiosity sometimes kind of just go along to get along. And that can work, but there comes a point in your life where you have to start questioning why you like certain things and why you don't like certain things. You have to start questioning things about your childhood and how they may have actually affected you and questioning why you may see something one way and other people see it a different way. And the beautiful thing about having a love for curiosity or a desire to be curious is that the more you do it, the more you realize that you don't need to connect it to any judgment. I think a lot of times people are fearful of being curious because they are, they judge themselves, right? And so for me, when I am deciding to be intentionally curious about myself, I release judgment, right? I might come back later and judge some things and say, yeah, girl, that ain't it. You need to work on that. But in the initial investigation of myself, of my feelings, of my thoughts, I release judgment and allow myself to just ask myself some questions. And I truly believe that a lot of the troubles that we have in life, troubles in our work, troubles in our personal life, troubles in relationships, troubles in friendships, troubles in and just the real things that we go through, really are because a lot of the troubles that we we have in life are because we are not curious uh enough, quickly enough. We will let something go on for so long that we don't like, that doesn't feel good, that that that makes us feel weird and itchy and all the things before we actually get curious enough to investigate our whys. And it really just leads to an unhealthy relationship, a disturbance and distraction kind of in how we live. And it can make us disloyal to people and to ourselves. And so, if I'm honest, I feel like in 2025, there were some areas where I was a little disloyal to myself. And going into the new year, I started out the new year in um, well, I started out the new year home, but very shortly after, I went on a trip to Milan, Italy with my wonderful husband. Um, and we had a time. We had a time. It was very relaxing, very revealing. We got to go to Rome and and go to um the Vatican Museum and go to the Coliseum and look into some Christian history there as well as just relaxing time spas, shopping, all the things. And um, you know, I had a seven-hour, seven and a half hour flight there, eight and a half hour flight back. And so on that flight, uh, those flights rather, I was able to really do some thinking about the person I want to be in 2026, and some thinking about the things I I didn't really love about my expression or my behavior or my patterns in 2025. And so uh once I decided I was gonna investigate some of those things, I started to think, you know, what are the areas that I need to grow in for this year? What are the areas that I need to be mindful of, right? Where do I get distracted? You know, how can I work on myself? And there's no way to do that without asking yourself a couple of different questions. One of the areas I'm trying to grow in is just focus. I feel like I can get distracted by noble things very easily. And because they are good things, I kid myself into thinking that they are not distractions, but they are indeed distractions at different times. And so I wrote down some things here that I am that I am trying to grapple with for myself. I get distracted very easily by good, and that stops me from great. If I'm honest, I'm usually helping someone else with their goals, desires, or dreams, and I'm addicted to the idea of helping things, so entities, brands, and people be better. And in this season, I need to ask myself two questions. The first question is why? Why am I so easily distracted by the good? And the good sometimes is, like I said, helping people, you know, um, being there for people, instructing people, encouraging people. And sometimes the good is just the good parts of what I'm already doing, but not pushing myself to be greater. And I think the reason why I'm so easily distracted is because I want to see one myself do well, and I want to see other people do well. And like I said earlier, I kid myself into feeling like, well, that's a really noble thing to do, and that's a good place to put all your energy. And sometimes we have to really keep it real with ourselves that just because a thing is good and you have a good reason doesn't mean it's what God has allotted for you to do with your time. Like I feel like sometimes I am, I call it productive procrastination, where I know I gotta do one thing, but I don't really want to do that thing. So I start cleaning the kitchen and doing a load of laundry, and then I'll start vacuuming. And it's one thing that I was supposed to do two days ago that really is not that important. I'll make sure I go ahead and do that all because I don't feel like, let's say, filming content, right? But I know I gotta film the content. We do this in life, we will procrastinate productively. So that looks like picking a good thing to do over the great thing you're supposed to be doing, and or the hard thing you're supposed to be doing. And I realize that a lot of the why I'm so easily distracted is because I am running away from the great that I know God has placed on me. There are things that I have wanted to do for years. I'm telling my years, ideas that I've had, ways that I've wanted to scale the things that I'm already doing, like this podcast, like music I've made in the past. And instead of putting my time and energy into that in 2025, I kept finding new people. And this is some of you might be watching this, new people, new brands, new partnerships to pour into. The thing about me is I have really great ideas. I'm full of ideas. I'm very creative, I'm very quick. And so when I become friends with, partners with, in partnership in any way with a person or a company, I'm consistently and very quickly thinking of how I can elevate this situation. Because to be honest, it's not just for the person or for the brand, it's for me too. If I'm affiliated with this brand, I want to make it the best I could possibly make it so that we all win. And I realized that in 2025, I kept finding ways to not put my own great ideas into my own brand. When I sit back and think about the countless hours that I spent on Zoom calls, on the phone, creating pitch decks for people, doing all kinds of stuff that was good, but not at the expense of me doing it for my own brand. I really feel like something needs to change. And it's so funny because, you know, God will send you people who are trying to help you see that what you're doing is not the smartest thing. But some of us are a little hard-headed, and we got to learn on our own. You know, my husband and my manager would be like, um, that's dope. And you should definitely present it, but don't present it more than once. Don't, like, don't spin your wheels. Like, you know, you have an idea, present it. People want to do it, they don't, no problem. And it took me probably until Q3 of last year to be like, okay, it's time for me to slow it down with how much I'm pouring out. And I don't say that to like make myself sound like some saint. This is just, I get excited when people share their ideas, their projects with me, and I'm like, hey, I thought about this, and what do you think about this? And sometimes people ask for that help, but sometimes they don't. And when you are offering yourself in that way and things don't get used or appreciated in the way that you may have wanted them to, you gotta ask yourself, okay, did the person even want this? Was the infrastructure even able to handle what I'm trying to bring to the table? And then you have to move accordingly. And so I don't want to just stop doing that because it makes me happy. It actually makes me happy if a friend calls me and tells me, I want to start juggling in the circus. It actually brings me joy to go look up circuses. That makes me happy. Why? I don't know. Maybe that's something for me to talk to my therapist about. But it does make me happy to help people in that way. I think I just need to scale it back when I'm spending more time doing that. And there are outstanding lists of things that I need to be doing for my brand and business that are not getting done. And so I think the why is because I really want to help people. But if I'm deep down honest, I am looking for a distraction from doing the more difficult parts of what I need to be doing for my own brand. And I have I didn't think about this until just now, but maybe there's a little bit of fear, right? Maybe there's a little bit of fear in me that if I actually put the time into my brand and it doesn't work, then what does that mean? I remember somebody saying one time, I cannot remember who it was, but they were saying, if you're always trying, you never have to succeed. Like if you're always, I'm gonna do, you always have a large list of things you're gonna do. And when you finally do these things, everything's gonna work out. If you never do those things, you can always say, Well, things didn't work out because I didn't really do those things. I didn't do my best. And so maybe that's a part of it. I don't know, but it is something that I'm going to tackle in 2026. The second question is what would happen if I stopped doing that and I put that energy into myself. I think a few things would happen. I think a few things would happen. One, and I think most importantly, I'd be happier. I think I'd be happier. I think that I would feel more fulfilled in my goals. And I believe that there would be a sense of accomplishment, even if things weren't going exactly how I wanted them to, because I would know that I was doing the work. And I know this to be true because in every other area of my life, this podcast included, when I'm doing something, whether the results are exactly what I want them to be right away or not, I remain encouraged because I know I'm working. Like when I'm going to the gym, which I do regularly, and I don't see the results that I want as quickly, I'm not as discouraged because I know I'm doing the work and I can look back on whatever results I've gotten and say, okay, well, things are not changing as fast as I would like, but I do see some changes. I feel better in this way. I've lost this or that. Well, I can fit this and I couldn't have fit it before, or whatever the case may be, because I know that I'm doing the work. And I think that some of the things that I've neglected in 2025 are things that I just cannot neglect this year. And I believe that I would feel so much better if I started to really, really get busy with that. Secondly, I would have reached my goals a lot faster, right? I I think that there is no way that I could put the energy that I have put into other people and things into myself and not be more successful. Like, guys, when I say I have put time and energy into helping other people get their stuff off the ground, baby, time and energy. And again, I love it. It is something that I feel passionate about because people have helped me. Like I talk about all the time, my girl Mo, who will be on the podcast again soon. You know, when I wanted to start this podcast, I called Mo and I was like, hey, I need advice. She sat on the phone with me for I don't know how long and just talked me through. I still use some of the resources that she gave me to get this podcast started. The brands and people that I partner with and work with, they've done for me as well. So it's not just like they're not giving me nothing and I'm just giving them all this time and energy and ideas. But like I said, I think it was a little lopsided. And I believe that I could have reached some of the goals I have a lot quicker had I put my ingenuity into getting things done into my own brand. Into forget brand, because yes, brand and whoop-de-boo, into the things God has told me to do. There are very specific things that God has told me, hey, you need to focus on this, right? The Holy Spirit has pricked me several times about several different things. And again, maybe because of fear, I don't know. I have not put the time and energy into doing those things well, into executing those things, into getting those partnerships, into working on those sponsorships, into encouraging those people, into making certain types of content. There are things that I'm just not done. Like I don't even know what else to say that I believe would have helped me reach some successes much faster than I have. And I know that I need to really do them. There's just no way around it. I also think that when it comes to my business and my personal brand, the things that God has given me to steward over, you know, some of you can relate to this. If you have a brand, if you're an entrepreneur, if you're a writer, if you're an artist, there are parts of it that you love that you will do all day long that you will do for free. For me, that's research for the podcast. No one ever has to ask me to do research for the podcast. If I have a guest, I'm watching all the podcasts they've been on. Um, if they have a book out, I'm trying to pre-order it. If it's not out, if it's out, I'm trying to make sure I read it or listen to it before they come. I I love that part of this. You know, the the segment, the what I'm stepping in. I love that part. You know, making sure that even when I I could be so tired and not feeling well. And as soon as these lights and these cameras come on, I turn on for y'all. I love that part, right? But then there are parts that I don't enjoy. Parts like administrative work. You know, most artists are like this. We enjoy all the fun stuff. The work is like, please get somebody else to do it quickly. But I'm learning that it's not that I don't enjoy or have the capacity for. Of those things alone, right? That's part of it. But if I put the energy that I'm putting into other things, into that, I could learn to have a system for that that works for me. I know this to be true because when we started to produce the podcast on our own, my husband and I, he was editing all the episodes. And after a while, he was like, hey, I'm gonna teach you how to edit. And y'all, I was terrified. Like big time. I, because I'm not a techie person. Like, give me an iPhone that's not too old and a laptop that's not a MacBook that's not too old, and I'm Gucci. I don't need the latest and greatest. I spend my money on bags, shoes, and makeup. I don't, I'm not a tech person. And so any type of technology that I was not used to, and that could go down to like TikTok at the time, right? I was real like, I'm showing my elder millennial-ness. Am I an elder millennial? I'm 38, about to be 38. Maybe I'm, I don't know if I'm an elder millennial or not. But anyway, I was scared. I was scared. I was scared to one, learn how to edit a podcast, to have to put that work out in a timely manner because we have to produce the podcast by a certain time each week. And I was so nervous about it. When I tell y'all now, I could I could edit this podcast in my sleep. No, no issue. So much so that when I finally got to editing, I was like, yo, why does stuff be taking so long for us to get back from editors? This is not that hard. Like, you could sit down if the podcast is an hour, you can have it edited in two hours. If you really just sit down and do it, you know? And there was a time where I did not feel that way. So I know that there are parts, and also I did not enjoy it at first. My husband could tell you, I was annoyed. Like, oh, this, every little thing felt so big to me. Every little inconvenience, every little, you know, command B, command, it just felt like, oh, why do I have to do this? Like I said, now I could do it in my sleep. So I know that there are parts of the business that I, that I've been, you know, productively procrastinating myself out of doing, that once I start doing them, I could develop a system that would make it very, very doable for me. And then that too X is our ability. Because if my husband can do something and I can do something, and we can both get it done simultaneously, or I can take care of something that was on his plate and he can now do something else, and my manager can do something else, then we got a ecosystem that really makes sense. And so one of the things I really want to work on is doing that. That's what would happen if I put the energy that I've put into other people and things into myself. I think my creativity would flourish. You ever just been like burnt out and you really can't figure out why? Like you just feel like drained and you uninspired and you can't really figure out why. I think for me, one of the reasons that I can feel that sometimes is because I'm putting out things that God intended for me to keep. Like it reminds me of MC Hammer, right? He talked about going broke and how one of the reasons he went broke is because he would do for people who had no way of helping him when he went broke. So he would pay people's mortgages, buy people's cars, do all sorts of things for people. And they were good things. But when the tides turned for him and he was struggling and he had overextended himself, this is for somebody, besides me. We know it's for me. This is for somebody. When he had overextended himself, the people he was giving to had no way of giving back to him. If they could give back to him, they wouldn't have needed it in the first place. And sometimes I can spin my wills with advice and encouragement. You know, one of the things that I, me and my best friend were talking about this year is I am not giving out any advice to anyone who doesn't explicitly ask me for it. And Lord, help me, because I'm such a know-it-all. I got a know-it-all spirit on me. I am working on it. I try not to come off obnoxious, but if someone is sharing something with me and I know something that could help them, it is my desire to help them. If someone is talking to me and they saying, I just don't feel like I can, and I know how brilliant they are, oh, you're about to get the most encouraging locker room huddle speech you ever heard. And what I realize is that in a lot of cases, not all, but in a lot of cases, most, those people cannot give that back to me. They cannot. They don't have it, they don't possess it, right? And in a good amount of those cases, let's say 50%, they didn't ask me. They did not ask. They are simply telling me a feeling that they have, a thought that they have, something that they, and they're just talking. And here I go with my super saver cape on, trying to give somebody a pep talk that they did not ask for. And it leaves me a lot of times feeling drained. It leaves me a lot of times feeling, I want to say unappreciated, because I don't really go there with it, but disappointed. It leaves me feeling disappointed sometime. Because sometimes these same people will come back to you with the same stuff in a month, a year, and you're like, we talked about this, but they're not ready. And that's okay. And so if you have that spirit, if you have the super saver spirit, if you have the a little touch of know it all, if you have, I want to help everybody be the best version of themselves, ask yourself, can you afford that? Because here's the thing if MC Hammer could afford to help all the people he helped, he wouldn't have gone bankrupt. Hello, somebody. Just because you have it to give does not mean you can afford to give it. This is a new concept for me. You know, I like to spend money. If you know me, you know it. If you see my sneaker collection, my bag collection, my shoe collection, you know it. And one of the things that I had to really grasp as I got older is if you cannot buy it three times, you can't afford it. Some people say two. And in the Blaine household, we say three. If you can't buy it three times, you can't afford it. And it was hard for me because I've shared this with close family and friends. You know, there were some things I wanted when we got married. You know, some personal girly things I wanted. And I would talk to my husband and say, hey, babe, I want to do this, you know, this and this and that. And he would be like, nah, babe, like we, that's not where we are right now. Like, we can't afford that. And then I would look at our accounts with an S and say, I think we can afford it, actually.

unknown: 27:09

You know?

SPEAKER_01: 27:11

And he had to help me see, even if we could buy that thing three times, what are the other areas of our life that we're trying to plant seeds in and the other things we may need to do first before we do that? And what are some of the things that we need to make sure are squared away and taken care of before we do that? And it really helped me to see that just because you have something to give, or in that case, spend, doesn't mean you should. I realized in me, it was an immaturity. It wasn't immaturity in me that said, Well, the money is there. It's like a child. It's and I've shared this before. It's like a child. You know, when you're when a child says, Mommy, can I have McDonald's? And mommy says we don't have McDonald's money, but they see the money, the cash in the wallet, you know, back in the day, people used to carry cash. Or nowadays, the kids will say, just tap the card, just tap your phone. You know, there are TikToks where parents say, you know, they'll tell their kid they don't have money for something. And they'll say, Yes, you do, just tap your phone. Because in a kid's mind, that's where the money comes from. You have infinite money, but that doesn't mean you can't afford something. And I have to be very honest with myself about the parts of me that I can afford to give out. One of the things that I ask myself is who, who in your life can you afford to give in this way too, if you wanted to? And I came up with a list of people who are very near and dear to me. Most of them give back to me in a very real way. And those of them who don't give back to me in this way give back to me in other ways. I also decided that, you know, outside of my immediate family, meaning my mother, my father, my siblings, and my husband, I do not owe anybody an explanation on my decisions, on my time. I don't owe you that. There are people who I will give that to out of respect and love in our relationship, as long as that makes sense. But oh, I only owe it to those people. And even that has boundaries. And so, you know, I I've been in a much healthier space now that I've been thinking through, okay, what does it look like to put my time and my energy into myself so that I can actually show up as the person I want to show up as? Because y'all, there's some things I want to give to y'all, baby, that if I'm able to show up right, I know that God will bless. There's some things that I want to accomplish in the world. Things that I don't have no business. That's how I know is God. Because it's like, why do I, why am I even thinking about this? You know, that I feel like don't even necessarily benefit me. They benefit people. And I know that if I'm going to be obedient to God, it's gonna take a level of focus that I don't currently have, if I'm just being honest. And so one of the things I'm really working on for this year is taking very seriously how easily distracted I am, repenting in that area, focusing on what God has called me to do, and really making sure that I'm putting my energy into the doors that He set forth for me to walk through. So, you know, I I've given y'all my business. I done told y'all where I'm at. I I want to use the the rest of the time of the podcast to encourage you to ask yourself some questions and to really go into the rest of this year with a sense of yes, curiosity, but also determination and conviction about what you're gonna do and what you're not gonna do. And by now, by the time you see this podcast, right, you should know whether you've been sticking to your little New Year's resolutions or you've done backslid 15 times or what. So this is a good time to just have a come to Jesus moment about where you are and what you want to be and what you're actually doing and what you're actually willing to do. And I listened to a podcast recently, my husband and I, that really got me together when it comes to some of the things that I want to work on. It was uh the Diary of a CEO podcast with Chris Williamson. And I was just so I first of all, I need to go back and listen to it again because it is so good. It's so rich, it's long, and he is dropping gems like every 22 seconds. Like it was just, I was like, I need to take notes because we were listening to it in the car. So I definitely need to go back and listen to it. However, there are a few things that stood out to me that I kind of want to encourage you guys to think about. So I thought about, you know, doing an annual review for myself, but doing it when the new year has already started, because I think sometime at the end of the year, you know, we want to do this annual review of how things have gone and what we want to do differently in the in the new year. But then the new year starts, and like I said, you either hit the ground running or you backslide until April, you know, and then you figure it out. And so for me, doing this in January, in the middle of January, as I was flying back from Milan was just really helpful for me to think through. Okay, as the year's already in motion, I kind of know what's on my calendar for the next two or three months. You know, what do I want things to look like and how do I want them to be? And and I think some of the questions that you can ask yourself that are really, really important are these. This is one question. He's he had a lot of questions, but the one that really stuck out to me was this. He said, What would I need to do to look up at the end of 2026 and say that I had a successful year? I'm paraphrasing, but that's pretty much the question. And I think it is so I wrote down some things, I ain't gonna share them with y'all, but some of the sobering that that question did for me, I think could help a lot of people. Because when you sit down and say, okay, what would I have to do to look up and see this year as a success by the end of 2026? It puts those dreams and ideas and fairy tale things into perspective, right? We could want a million things to happen this year, but what do I actually have to do to see this year as a success? For some of you, that is spending more time with your family, be it your children, be it your parents, be it your, you know, I remember um I saw a clip and it's a very popular clip. But somebody was saying, okay, if you if you live away from your parents, if you live in a different state from your parents and you only see your parents, you know, twice a year. Let's say your parents are gonna live for the next 10 years. You only got 20 more times to see your parents ever. I don't know about you, but that like shocked me because I'm like, whoa, that's kind of tough. You know, so for some of us, it might be that. It might be spending more time with your children. You might realize, oh, my child is, I'm still treating this baby like she's seven and she's 16. I done missed something. I've missed her maturation and I miss my son's, you know, growth spurt. And I need to, I need to be more present, right? For some of us, that's it. That is what would need to happen for 2026 to be a success. For some of us, it is, hey, I have been trying to get healthy for the last 10 years. For 2026 to be a success, I need to actually see some major results. Not small results, but major results. You know, um, for some of us, it would be listen, I want to make this certain amount. I want to save this certain amount, I want to tithe this certain amount. Come on, somebody, right? These are the type of things that we should be thinking about. But what do you need to do? It's all good to say, I want to be able to tithe X amount. Well, then how much money do you need to make to be able to tithe that as 10%? And then what do you need to do differently to make that much money? I've realized that there's so much that I do when I come at life from this perspective. What do I need to do in order to have the success that I have? For some of us, that's get a mentor. For some of us, that's get rid of a mentor. For some of us, that's get out of the cohort and the team that you're paying all this money to be a part of. For some of us, you know what I mean? There are some changes that we need to make that will really make us more successful, even though it might look like a subtraction from what we're doing right now. Another question that I really, really love, someone said, What would the 85-year-old me wish I did more of? So thinking about yourself when you're older, and if you 85 listening to this podcast, kick it up to 105, right? What would the older me wish that I had done with my time? Wish that I had done more of. You know, there's many nurses and people who work in nursing homes who always talk about how at the end of life no one ever says they wishes they worked more. No one ever says that. People have all sorts of regrets about not going after their dreams, not quitting smoking, not working out, not spending more time with their children, not rectifying issues in their marriage. But then no one ever says, I wish I worked more. You know, and so really figuring out what is of value to you and how you can put your time into that because when you're 85, what will you have wished that you did? Another question I think was really good is what are the things that make my day go well? And what are the things that make my day go terribly? This question has changed me because I realize that when I just don't have certain things in order, I don't have a good day. And it doesn't matter what my intentions were. If I don't have certain things in order, I don't have a good day. And when I have certain things in order, no matter what's thrown at me, I tend to have a pretty good day. Because, okay, I I could I can be flexible, I can, I can work that, I can dodge that, because I have the main things in order for my life. You know, another question that I think a lot of people run away from is what conversations do I need to have? You know, sometimes there's a loop running in the back of your mind about a conversation you need to have with somebody, something you need to tell them, something you need to apologize for. And let me just say this: we are in a generation where everybody is, you did this to me, you did that to me, you did, you know, when is the last time your self-awareness has said, oh, I need to apologize to someone? You know, a couple years back, and this is not even in my notes, couple years back, I handled a situation real whack. Real, real whack. He says she says some stuff got tossed around and came to my desk. And instead of me addressing it, I made a tweet about it. And it wasn't cool. It was not cool. Bottom line, it just wasn't cool. I had my reasons for why I did that. I didn't put the person's name out there. I didn't, you know what I mean? I I wasn't mean about it, but it just wasn't cool. And, you know, we had words about it or whatever, and it kind of left us in a weird place. And after some time went by, I was like, yo, I need to apologize. I need to apologize. And I need to, I need to not only apologize, I need to say, if you want to talk about why I did it and where my mindset was, I'm open to letting you in because you deserve that. You know, if the person needed that for closure, like they deserved that. My self-awareness made me say, yeah, I'm wrong. I'm wrong. I need, I need to fix that. You know what I mean? And whatever reacted. Luckily, the person had a great reaction. They were very gracious, everything was all good. We are fine like wine now. But some of you need to apologize to somebody. Some of you need to say, I'm sorry. Some of you need to say, Hey, you hurt me and you owe me an apology. And again, it doesn't mean that anything has to change, but you need to have these conversations so that your mind space can free up for the things you're supposed to be thinking about. There's a reason you ruminate on certain things, and you need to have the conversations that you need to have, whatever way they are. Another question you need to ask. Yourself and the inverse of this is what conversations should I not have ever again? There are some things and people that you have said what you said, you have talked about it, you have asked for respect of your boundaries, you have communicated your feelings, they do not respect them, and you don't need to have another conversation, not another text, nothing. You need to ask yourself, okay, what do I need to stop saying? Am I now begging someone for love and attention and affection and consideration? Right? You need to ask yourself these questions. And lastly, I'll give you something that I feel like really encouraged me when I asked it to myself. And I asked myself this who are the people who have the greatest impact on me, and do I prioritize my time with them? And this question brings a big smile to my face because the answer is yes. Was not always true. This was not always true. But when I think about the people who have the greatest impact on me, the people who make me happy, the people who challenge me, the people who tell me when I'm tripping, the people who don't avoid conflict if we have it, the people who will say, Hey, I want to talk to you about this, or hey, this made me feel away. Um I am indeed prioritizing my time and my relationships with those people. And I think a large part of that, and this is the hoon of the podcast, was that I recently left my job in full-time ministry. I realized that because I was in full-time ministry and my job was peopling, I would often neglect the people who filled me up because I was always helping people, you know, with their lives and their problems and their things and their relationship with God and all the stuff. And that's a large part of, you know, I didn't even bring that up earlier because I don't really bring up the things that I do completely unto the Lord. But a large part of my desire to always help someone be great is that I've been in full-time ministry most of my adult life. So stepping back from that, when we had to leave Atlanta, you know, I couldn't bring my church with me. Although I would have loved to. Um, stepping back from full-time ministry gave me the space and time to actually talk to the people who pour into me more. And my sister, she said to me recently, maybe about two months ago, she was like, I like you better. She was like, Because you have more time for me. Like, you're not rushing off the phone, you're not, you know, like you just you want to talk about your life, you want to talk about your feelings. You know, sometimes I would be all talked out, child. By the time I done did ministry, done preached the midweek, done talked to, you know, all these sisters throughout the week, then done got on the camera, talked to y'all on TikTok and Instagram, got on the camera, talked to somebody in the interview in the podcast. I used to be talked out for my friends and family. I just like, I ain't got nothing else to say. Then I got to talk to the man I live with. You know what I mean? Got to talk to him. So I used to be talked out. But now I truly can say that I prioritize the people who have the greatest impact on me. And when I want you to really ask yourself this question and really investigate, if the answer is no, investigate why and how you can change it. Because I cannot express to you guys how much it has done for me mentally, my mental health, to be able to spend quality time with my closest friends. You know, as God would have it, I moved to the place where these people lived. So we have made it a point to be around each other, you know, to be come over for dinner and to I have my homegirl come and help me clean out my closet before the year ended and just spend time and we order food and we talk and we we make time for each other. And it has truly been a game changer for me. And so these are just a few questions in the comments in the in the description of this. I'm gonna post a link to a couple of more questions that I would encourage you guys to ask yourselves and to truly let yourself in to the curiosity that will allow you to become the person you're supposed to become. Listen, truth of the matter is, God has given you something to do, He's given you a door to walk through, He's given you an industry to conquer, He's given you a ministry to start, a book to write, a person to hug, a person to encourage. He has given you something to do. And it is difficult to do it if you are spending your wills and your time on something else. If you are productively procrastinating from doing the thing that God has called you to do, my hope is that you listening to or watching this podcast will propel you into the action of actually doing the thing. I'm so grateful that you guys spend time with me each week. If you are listening on Holy Culture, SiriusXM, 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on Monday nights, I thank you so much for listening there. If you're watching on Holy Culture's YouTube or on my YouTube, I thank you for watching there. And please make sure that you subscribe to Lish Speaks. We got some great things coming for you this year, and I don't want you to miss anything at all. Guys, this is I'll just let myself in the podcast where we don't wait for some imaginary permission slip or some seat at an imaginary table. We let ourselves into our God-given doors, and this has been another episode. Thank you guys so much, and I'll see you same time, same place next week. Peace.