I'll Just Let Myself In
"I’ll Just Let Myself In" is an empowering new podcast dedicated to people who are ready to take a chance on themselves and forge their own path. Hosted by Lish Speaks, each episode explores personal stories, triumphs, and challenges of navigating industries from the “outside-in.” From entrepreneurship to career advancement, self-care to self-discovery, this podcast provides candid conversations, practical advice, and inspirational anecdotes to motivate listeners to embrace their identity, defy societal norms, and pursue their dreams unapologetically. Join us on this journey as we celebrate the strength and tenacity of our guest and hopefully ourselves! It's time to take a chance on yourself and Let Yourself In!
Video version available on the @lishspeaks Youtube channel
I'll Just Let Myself In
How to Lead When the World Expects You to Follow - Into Ministry w/ Deshawn Robinson
In this episode, Lish is joined by Deshawn Robinson, a minister at Change Church, for a real and reflective conversation about his journey into ministry. Deshawn opens up about his calling, the defining moments that shaped his faith, and the lessons he’s learned while serving in a growing, dynamic church. They explore the joys and challenges of ministry, from shepherding people to trusting God in seasons of uncertainty. Whether you’re in ministry or simply curious about the life of a pastor, this episode offers honest insights and spiritual inspiration.
Send us a text with your thoughts, feedback, or questions for the host!
When your dream is so big that other people's dreams fit in it. That's when you attract and draw other visionaries.
Speaker 2:Did you always feel like you wanted to be in ministry, or was it one of those things where you're like I want nothing to do with that?
Speaker 1:People who actually are too eager to be in ministry actually make me nervous.
Speaker 1:A lot of seasoned saints are walking in defeat and fear, so they don't feel bold enough to correct yeah and then a lot of young people are walking in arrogance and delusion so they don't know that they need direction and correction some of us have problems to be solved and sometimes we have tensions to be managed, and if you call the tension a problem, we'll spend a lifetime trying to solve something that I'm not supposed to solve. I'm just supposed to manage. To constantly berate each other and degrade each other is an assumption that god didn't put as much value in them as he did in your generation, and I think we have to dismantle this idea that because they like something of old, they're wrong, and because you want something new, you're wrong. I don't downplay your visions and you can't downplay my dreams.
Speaker 2:This is so good. I have a great job. Don't bring no drama my way. Don't bring no drama my way. Don't bring no drama my way. What's up everybody? Welcome back to another episode of I'll Just Let Myself In with your girl, Lish Speaks. This is the podcast where we do not wait for imaginary permission slips. We don't wait for anybody to give us a seat at the table. We walk through our God-given doors, we just let ourselves in. If this is your first time experiencing this, you're going to have a good time.
Speaker 2:If you're back for another episode. I thank you. You could be anywhere in the world, but you're here with me and I appreciate that I have an amazing guest today.
Speaker 1:Chill.
Speaker 2:Incredible guest that I have. An amazing guest today chill, incredible guest chill he is a pastor, he's a dad, an amazing husband. He is a musician. I would say rapper, but you do more than just rap. He's a musician, he's a master of divinity, a clothing line owner, a podcast host, and I know I'm forgetting some other things he's a PK so you know, you finna preach ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for Deshawn Robinson what's up, family I don't let myself get started.
Speaker 2:I have one of the most amazing segments in podcasting, if I do say so myself. It's called what I'm stepping in is where I show you guys what I am wearing for the day. Today I'm wearing a shoe that you guys have seen before. I wore the. I wore this shoe on an episode in the first season, but, um, I wear my shoes right, I'm not buying a new shoe.
Speaker 1:Yeah for every episode.
Speaker 2:You know I wear my shoes, so these are the 2024 uh Air Max 95 Atlanta pack that came out. Many of the stores had them. I got mine from so play. Shout out to my family at so play. Um, I get almost every shooter that I have from so play, so, so play. Let's have a conversation okay, talk that sponsor but uh, I'm thinking about this episode and the next episode right, right right but uh, but yeah, I got these from, so play love this shoe.
Speaker 2:It's an ms95, it's a classic, super comfortable. So, uh, it matched with with the hoodie, which we'll talk about in a second hoodie nice right, you know what I say here on our podcast if you like. I'm gonna get you some, all right, so let's talk about this hoodie real quick and then we're gonna get into all the other credentials let's talk. Like I said, you have a clothing line. It is called free the soul and um. I love this hoodie because it says free indeed yeah right and whom the sun sets free it's free.
Speaker 1:It's free, indeed, so give me some of the inspiration behind your clothing line, your music, just all the creative endeavors that you have outside of all other things you do well, that's, that's interesting, that's a that's a wide and broad question, um, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna go wide, okay, before I go deep, I think, um, specifically with free the souls, um, my wife said this, and I'll never forget this one line that she dropped on me. She said the clothing line is literally a dream come true. And here's what she meant by that. I never in my wildest imaginations wanted to. Now, I'm a fashion guy. I like fashion.
Speaker 2:I like pieces. We're going to get to that later.
Speaker 1:We're cultured people, right. So we, you know we like pieces and they just clothes. It's like pieces, it's the core, it's art right, it's the core, it's art right. So, but I never saw myself doing clothes as like a way to earn money, or even forget earning money was impact the world or imprint legacy in the world. But one night back home in Brooklyn, sleeping, woke up, not woke up had a dream rather rather, and in the dream I'm like seeing myself like make clothes but, it's like I'm hearing free the souls, free the souls, free the souls, free the souls.
Speaker 1:But it's on repeat in the dream and you know, you like wake up out of, out of a dream. It's like you're still saying what you were, yes, what you're dreaming. That's what happened to me. So I woke up. I was like free the souls, what?
Speaker 1:is that I'm not an artist in terms of like drawing that much right, like I used to a little bit, but I'm not like super duper artistic when it comes to that and I get a pen and a paper to try to figure out, like what did it mean? So I'm, I'm prepared to start writing words, the thing I'm, the thing I'm good at.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, I don't even. I'm trying not to be preachy, that'll preach, that'll preach. Because I picked up the pen thinking I'm about to do something I'm already used to, that I'm already good at, and instead of writing, I started getting a vision of this like snakeskin cap and it was called and this idea came to us call it the free from the serpent, okay. So I started drawing out the cap I'm like what does this mean?
Speaker 2:what am I supposed to do with?
Speaker 1:this right, and then my wife wakes up the next morning. I'm like yo I have this dream I'm like clothes was never on my mind I don't draw yo check out this cap out there, what you think she's like fire, she gets online. Yeah, she, she start researching how we start, where do we go, vendors, stuff like that. So you know, and I mean I don't want to segue, I don't want to move too fast with you know, your agenda story.
Speaker 1:We got edited, I think I think I, I do think like that's part of the like, the value of partnership, especially with the spouse. It's, it's this wives have this ability to materialize things that are seeds in us, right, so it's like I know we look at that be fruitful and multiply. Uh, command in Genesis is something for Adam and Eve just to fill the world with kids but? But it's much deeper than that.
Speaker 1:It's much deeper. I think there is seed and womb that is not just physical, that when the right two people come together there's like a manifestation and a materializing of that. So she helped to take a seed and make it bigger, make it greater.
Speaker 2:Shout out to the wives out there materializing the seeds that are dropped from you, from you, from the husband and man of your house. Yeah, we're gonna talk about your wife and your kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's how it came about those literally started as a dream, yes, and then just like, okay, yeah, let's get to it.
Speaker 2:I don't want to do this, but I feel a prompting let's go, yeah, yeah, I love that. Let's go back a little bit into your childhood. You are a preacher's kid from Brooklyn. Yeah, your dad passed to the church for 32 years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, something like that, a little more than that, a little more than that Was 93 is when he started. So now, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right, I'm sorry, 93, 32. Come on, do your research A little research.
Speaker 2:You know a little research.
Speaker 1:My bad.
Speaker 2:Dad, and so did you always feel like you wanted to be in ministry, or was it one of those things where you're like I want nothing to do with that?
Speaker 1:What I'm going to say this I'm actually people who actually are too eager to be in ministry actually make me nervous.
Speaker 1:Yes, because, you don't know what you're asking for not only like first of all, you romanticize something that's that's bloody, so so you make it sound like a fairy tale when it's a lot bloodier than you realize. But in addition to that, not only is this, is there's this like misassessment of of what it takes to do it, but in addition to that, it's like every let me not say all most or many biblical figures that I see who are being called into ministry always have some resistance or some doubt. Initially, most, maybe not everybody, but most right. Moses is like you. Sure you want me to go to Pharaoh? I ain't the one I got.
Speaker 2:I got a little stuttering problem. I don't talk right right.
Speaker 1:Isaiah's like I'm a man of unclean lips. Jeremiah's like hey, I'm too young, right. Gideon's like I'm the least in my family. My family's like I can keep going. And it's like nobody really wants to do this. So people who really want to do it make me a little bit nervous, because that means you actually don't understand the cost and the toll. So no, I did not want to be a leader. I don't care what, I don't care how many tongues I saw my dad speaking or people I saw healed. That was never something I wanted to do, in spite of the fact that I started really early. People would think that like, oh, you must have wanted to. Yeah, I, I got licensed to preach my first sermon at 17, so I was in my senior year high school and I was like but people don't know how long I was running because I was hearing God before then. So like it looks like, oh, you accepted, young, you must have wanted to do it.
Speaker 2:It's's like nah, I heard him from my youth yes, same you feel me. I definitely ran.
Speaker 1:No, I don't want no parts.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:So no, it was not something I wanted.
Speaker 2:So when the calling came and you could no longer ignore it, right, what do you feel like was the prompting for you to answer? Was it that 17 year old preaching that sermon? Was it after you get to princeton and you study? You know, I know it was before then, because I know you right, right, right but you know for the people, was it when you, when you get your master of divinity, when did you feel like no, I gotta answer this call in a real way, full-time kind of vibes that's a good question.
Speaker 1:Think I don't know if I ever got that moment where it was like to me like right now I work in full-time ministry like as a career.
Speaker 2:That's a very important sentence. That's a very important sentence, but I'm going to let you finish.
Speaker 1:I was about to say because we can go. If you want to go there, we can go. I work full time as a career, but I'm a firm believer in 1 Corinthians 15, where Paul admonishes the church at. Corinthians, that be steadfast, unmovable always abounding in the work.
Speaker 1:So for me, without employment at the church, I work for I'm like full time ministry, all the time full-time ministry. So for me, outside of the walls of the church, I'm full-time ministry. If I believe I have a calling and I'm called to impact the lives of others, I'm in full-time ministry.
Speaker 2:Same same and I always tell people the funny thing about it is if you go to the right church yeah they are only hiring the people who would have did it for free.
Speaker 2:Yes, oh wait a minute, church. They hired me because of what have did it for free? Yes, I go to a church. They hired me because of what I was doing for free. When I first went into ministry, when I was 20 years old, I was traveling from Brooklyn to Harlem leading a campus ministry six days a week saying the Bible was baptized for free, come on For free, and I was going to do it, period. You know what I mean. It's the same way with my gifts. I would do music for nothing right, right so.
Speaker 2:God gives me opportunities to earn right you know and I think he he does serve and I gotta go back to that sentence because that is a lesson I learned the hard way that ministry, full-time being paid, it is a what you do for a career yeah. I am fully in that season of my life now so much so that I'm like God, you could take it if you wanted to, because it wouldn't change me and you right but there was a time I didn't know that right.
Speaker 2:I've talked about this on other episodes. There were times where I didn't think God loved me more because I was in ministry, but I thought he would love me less if I wasn't.
Speaker 2:I didn't realize this is a job and what I knew in my heart of hearts was that I was called to ministry, but I knew it wasn't the only thing I was called to yeah, but I was in a space where people didn't want me to be called to other things yeah so when god started blessing the other areas of my life, the ministry I was in at the time, they the support for it, couldn't be there to the point where I got to let go, wow you know what I mean, and so it was, and you know I've been apologized to and everything is fine you know people have people have come around and said right, right, right right, ain't no beef, ain't no smoke right now I got you but it was god that had to happen to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because ministry was an identity. When you go into ministry, young, you know, especially as a woman it starts to form who you actually think you are as a person and how you think God feels about you and how you think God's people feel about you, right, and so God had to say you know what. We're gonna let this get taken away, so that you can understand that this is a career choice come on, come on and then I can use you any way I want to.
Speaker 1:I can put you in banking and you still gonna be prophetic and gifted and creative Wait wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 2:Did you know that I went into banking after that?
Speaker 1:No, I'm just flowing, I'm finna run.
Speaker 2:Don't run, I'm finna run.
Speaker 1:Since you know me, you know it don't take nothing to tap me. We there, we there.
Speaker 2:I was just flowing. I just said that as an example Because I was working for Bank of America. I did not know that and I was miserable. I did not know that and I said, Lord, I don't believe this is what you have for me, but I'm going to do it.
Speaker 1:And literally.
Speaker 2:I went to one of my friend's birthday parties and he was like, hey, we were going to a church at the time it was during the pandemic. And he said, hey, I don't know if you, Bridgepoint was my first church that rescued me when I got to Georgia.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:I got to Hartsfield Jackson a mess.
Speaker 1:Wow and.
Speaker 2:Bridgepoint took very great care of me.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:He was like, yeah, I'm not going to Bridgepoint anymore. I was like, oh, where you going? He was like, yeah, Cornerstone Church in Duluth. I had never heard of Duluth.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And he was like yeah, yeah, I do you know fast forward. I go, I interview, I become his co-leader. He leaves six months later. Wow Right, we're still good friends. My dog yeah sure. He leaves six months later. Fast forward now, almost three over three years later, I'm the associate minister, their first female associate minister in the history of the church. Wow, so God had a plan, but I was definitely at that bank.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's crazy that you said that I was just flowing, just flowing, I didn't know y'all. That's crazy.
Speaker 2:But it's important to see it as a career. I think it informs the way you serve Absolutely. You can serve from your heart without this thing of identity.
Speaker 1:It's important, I think, to go back to something you said about when you, when something matters to you and you know it's purpose fulfilling not just fulfilling to you, but it's actually making an impact in other people's lives it you don't have to get paid because there's a reward that's almost intangible, right, it can't be touched, it can't be witnessed in your bank account. It's an intangible reward, right, like people can award you, but god, god rewards you. Right, like I can put a plaque on my wall and get an award, but God rewards. And sometimes it's not as substantive as the awards, right, but it's something deeper, right. So the church I work for now that I'm a campus pastor at an associate pastor at like, I was their intern finishing up an internship.
Speaker 1:I wasn't there to work, to get a job, I was interning for nothing, but it was what was being done in that stage that people were like.
Speaker 2:Something different about you. Something different, yeah, you sure. You want to leave. You can stay. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So it just struck that memory in me.
Speaker 2:That's like yo, yes, you spot on with that, and it was crazy because at the last church that I've talked about, bridge point, I led their singles ministry with another single brother before I was married yeah for free, for nothing right I worked my full-time job.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah and just go.
Speaker 2:so god, I think god just sees your heart. Um, and some of us, we just can't help but lead people. I can be quiet and I would be leading people. It's in me, they want to follow. So good, I can be silent in a room. People are like well, what do you think?
Speaker 2:And I'm just trying to like not you know, because sometimes everything makes your room. I understand time and space very well and there are plenty of times when I'm like this thing, my room, yeah, very well, yeah and there are plenty of times when I'm like this thing right, right, right. And people, what do you think right, right? Well, since you asked, a lot going on.
Speaker 1:I was gonna be quiet.
Speaker 2:But I appreciate that god really does allow people like us to to to have influence. And you know, when I say people like us, I'm specifically speaking of young. Young, new York, brooklyn we don't necessarily sound like the typical this or that but we have a God-given gift, and so let's talk a little bit about your upbringing in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1:Let's do it.
Speaker 2:And how that kind of informs and impacts who you are as a dad, who you are as a husband, who you are as a preacher a man?
Speaker 1:That's a good question. I was born in Crown Heights section of Brooklyn, nice. Lived there until about, I think, fifth grade. We were on Empire Boulevard. Okay, shout out to Empire, my grandmother owns Roller skating rink.
Speaker 2:Right across the street from White Castle, that building right across the street from White Castle, my grandmother, my nana, my father's mother God rest her soul owns an apartment that my family still owns in that building.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, so I. I was running around tivoli heights and and ebbetsfield with all the homies, so anyway, um tivoli towers, rather in crown heights, um and ebbetsfield with all the homies. So yeah, that's my old stomping grounds. Empire between notion and rogers gotcha yeah yeah, so um lived there till about fifth grade grade, and then we moved to how do I say this? Not so pleasant neighborhood, right?
Speaker 2:we moved to Brownsville. My wife is from my dad's, from Brownsville. It's hood over there. That's the only part of Brooklyn that's not genderfied. They scared of Brownsville don't come in here.
Speaker 1:You know what's up, you know what's up, so we moved to brownsville.
Speaker 1:It's a little closer to the church. My dad passed it, so I think I think one of the most formative things I used to see was the fact that my, my dad was a resident in the neighborhood, that he served people, and whether it's it don't it doesn't have to be the church context, right, like you can think of police officers, you can think of um other different professions, but there is something, uh, that that that strengthens your impact with people when they see you're not afraid of them, that they're not a, they're not an other. Yes to you. And that was formative to me. My father used to do this thing called boys in the hood basketball tournament. He would get different preachers from, like, his different brothers in ministry. Get them. They would play against bloods and crips. Wow, they would play against bloods and crips do basketball tournaments.
Speaker 2:If the bloods and crips lost they would have to drop their flags stuff like that he's done gun buyback programs all that stuff you know partner with with um law enforcement, do gun buyback and things like.
Speaker 1:Just just like I've seen flags and drugs dropped at the altar like just just in it.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like in it and that that was super formative for me. I'm also one of six, though, right so I got three brothers. I got two sisters, right so living, so living in a three bedroom house, but with his six siblings, two parents, there's eight people. That ain't enough room.
Speaker 2:Right, Might as well be a one bedroom. Might as well be a one bedroom so you know, you learn the value of community. You learn the value of sharing.
Speaker 1:Right and genuinely caring for someone else. Yes, and those things are super formative. But we were also in brownsville. Yeah, we were in brownsville. Yeah, so we had to know how to fight. Yeah, we had to know how to stand up for yourself right, you gotta talk quick.
Speaker 1:You gotta talk and get what you gotta get man, I was in everything, so you know a lot of things that I mean we ain't got time to start going through and digging through, but so many things God rescued me from. But when I look back retro, retrospectively, it's like I I realized his hand was never not on me.
Speaker 2:I know it's a double negative, I know, but his hand was never not. You want the first thing. You can use a double negative, we know you smart.
Speaker 1:Right, there was never a season where his hand was not on me. Yeah, right and um, I'm like I was in my prayer time the other day and I'm like boohoo crying. I'm in my closet, like I'm going, like literally there's an audit happening with the holy spirit just bringing up things that I'm like I shouldn't have made, that I made it out of that yeah, and yet and still, man, his hand was on my life and he gave me experience that can't once you get exposed, you can't get unexposed.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:So he gave me experience that I can't take away. That makes me relatable, similarly to how my dad was, to the people he lived around, but at the same time, he preserved me because he needed me for something else. And yeah, it was hood around a lot of bloods, a lot of crips, a lot of you know gang activity and drug.
Speaker 2:The 90s was real for gang activity. You might as well have been in LA in.
Speaker 1:Brooklyn. Listen, you wear red. Don't let it be an initiation day. They used to let us out of school early on certain days. I could wear this jacket on, no initiation day. No, you could not, nope, nope.
Speaker 2:And we'd get out of school early on Halloween. What? Because they was like get home, get home, get home.
Speaker 1:So listen, it was amazing. It was amazing, and I'll say this lastly, in terms of like that upbringing, nobody's perfect. No family's perfect, but what I got to witness from my dad and my mom being together and then I come outside and a lot of my friends or people in the neighborhood you know, families are broken right um, or they're like yeah, I got a brother but he lived, sister, but she lived, and we come outside and it's like we like each other, like me and my sister we go outside to play.
Speaker 1:We like each other. You know I'm saying my brother on my team, what's up? Two on two, what's? Going on you know what I mean, so something about that. Here's what I witnessed. I witnessed a counter narrative that was dropped in the center of another narrative, and I got to live and be exposed to a counter narrative.
Speaker 1:So I grew up being confident and being different because, my family was was planted and rooted in a neighborhood that we were the counter narrative. So now I can walk around it. And when I'm walking into purpose I now have become accustomed to knowing purpose. Sometimes it looks different. It sometimes look black sheepish when white sheep are around you. It sometimes looks like going against the current when everything else is flowing that way. But I I got exposed to what it looks like to be a counter narrative. Yeah, so now I'm not lacking confidence when I gotta make counter narrative like decisions as a creative, because I know eventually y'all gonna see why this was valuable and I'm comfortable in this space.
Speaker 2:I'm here. I can sit here as long as until y y'all get it, I can wait. Sit in it. I love that.
Speaker 1:Y'all get here. When you get here, I'm going to sit in it. Absolutely Let yourself in when you get here. Let yourself in. When you get here, I'll be right here on this counter narrative against the current uncomfortable, Uncomfortable, isolated couch, and when you get here I'm ready. So that's probably the most formative thing.
Speaker 2:That's good.
Speaker 1:I got in my upbringing, that's so good.
Speaker 2:You said something in a sermon a couple of months ago. You were talking about how, growing up in the church you grew up with and you know there's a lot of seasoned saints. Yes, yes, yes and there were things that the seasoned saints would say Right, right, right. And, and there were things that the seasoned saints would say Right, and I think that our culture is missing that a little bit. Yeah, we're missing, not that we don't have the seasoned saints, we have them.
Speaker 1:I know what you mean Go.
Speaker 2:But there's two things at work. A lot of seasoned saints are walking in defeat and fear, so they don't feel bold enough to correct yeah. And then a lot of young people are walking in arrogance and delusion, so they don't know that they need direction and correction right. So I too, yeah, miss the seasoned saints. I've actually told people in my life in the last year yeah I need you to little girl me.
Speaker 2:Because what happened? And I don't know if this has happened to you, but people started treating me like we were peers and they were 20 and 30 years older than me. Did that happen to you? I don't know if it's when I became an associate. It's like well, what do you think? Well, whatever you think, and I'm thinking- not whatever.
Speaker 1:I think I'm 37.
Speaker 2:I want to learn from you. Yeah, yeah, I don't care that I have the position or the title yeah, you've been a disciple, you've been a christian. You've been at this walk with jesus since I was a little kid, or maybe some people before I was born yeah I know people who've been married 40 years. I haven't even been alive 40 years.
Speaker 2:Please don't treat me like a peer right right and then on my end, I know that it is my responsibility to empower those people that's good to correct me and then to have the right attitude when they correct me that's good so what would you say? Yeah, to both sides. To the seasoned saint who is kind of like these young kids, man, I ain't saying nothing. And then to the younger person right who, let's say, 40 and down let's say 40 and under right.
Speaker 2:To the younger person. Every time I get older, the age for younger moves Right, right, right. I'm like 40 and less. Yeah, yeah, yeah, young people 40 and less.
Speaker 1:We be going on some young professional ministry 10 years ago, you'd be like 30 and under. I know, but but to the 40 and unders, right like, give us some direct give us some correction, rebuke.
Speaker 2:What do you think? I, I, I have thoughts.
Speaker 1:Like I do, I do have thoughts. I think that I'm gonna keep it concise, but there's this. There's this story in the book of ezra, chapter three. Um, and in ezra, chapter three, there's this unique thing happening where, uh, the temple of Jerusalem is being rebuilt.
Speaker 1:It had been destroyed by some people that were oppressing the children of Israel, and their temples have been restored Right now, right around. One of the most amazing, beautiful, galvanizing scriptures in all of scripture is in Ezra, chapter 3, right around chapter I mean verse 13. It says that there were joyful cries coming from the younger generation because of the rebuilding of the temple they were happy to have their own temple yeah and there were what there was, wailing and crying from the previous generation who missed the temple of old.
Speaker 1:Watch this the Bible says. But if you were off in a distance, the shouts of joy and the people wailing and crying sounded the same. Here's what's important about that.
Speaker 1:I'm setting up here's what's important about that list in that text there is no, there is no assumption of moral failure for either party. There's nothing that says the people who are shouting for joy in the younger generation, who never had their own temple, nothing in the text says they're wrong for that and nothing in the text says that the older generation who's crying about the older temple that they remember. Nothing says that they're wrong for that. Nothing in it. So there's, there's this understanding that you can mourn over what was while I can still rejoice over what's coming, and both sound the same meaning.
Speaker 1:God has openness for enough of us that what this generation deems to be important and what this generation deems to be important can coexist. And I think we have to dismantle this idea that because they like something of old, they're wrong, and because you want something new, you're wrong. Yeah, right, um, joelle too, says this. It says um, old men will dream dreams. Young men have visions. Right, but it's in the it's in the it's posited in the context of a chapter that says his spirit will pour out on all flesh. So the first thing God is like. Dismantling is like ageism.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and sexism, yeah, yeah. The sons and daughters will prophesy. I got a whole teaching on that.
Speaker 1:I think you want to go there, but we go there to sons and daughters of prophesy. I got a whole teaching on that. I didn't think you wanted to go there, but we go there too.
Speaker 1:Sons and daughters are prophesied right, both prophesied right, but the ageism in that one verse of the old men dreaming dreams, meaning they have a value to offer. Young men having visions, they have a value to offer. We have to have an awareness of this bilateral appreciation. Yes, I don't downplay your visions and you can't downplay my dreams this is so good.
Speaker 1:I don't think there's enough respect. Yes, there's not enough respect, and I think that's keys, it's. I would even go as far as to say not even just respect. I would go, I would even say honor.
Speaker 1:I'll use a more biblical word like honor there has to be a reverence for the value. To constantly berate each other and degrade each other is an assumption that god didn't put as much value in them as he did in your generation. So that's actually reductionist and like almost disrespectful to god. Yeah, it's like reducing him to a time and space when he's he was there, he is here and will be there. So it's like how, how you gonna reduce god to just your generation, right? So if we have true honor for god, we also honor what he has put yes, of value, what he has put that's valuable. In the other party that we seem to have a rub or friction with 100%. But I'm a little old school too and I think we got to get back to some what's considered antiquated, but like there's a commitment.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:There is a focus. There's a call there is a diligence that's not as associated with the bag. That's like I'm just in this and that's the kind of commitment we saw of old that we don't have nowadays.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's good. I'm finna read Ezra tomorrow morning in my high time.
Speaker 1:That's good. Ezra 3 and 13 on. Meshul it say the cries and the shouts of joy all sound the same and it means they were harmonious, it means they could work together.
Speaker 2:I love that that's really good. That's really good yeah, um, I could go on, but I'm not I'm just gonna go okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's move on okay, okay, um keep it together yes, um I want to talk about your amazing family okay, I don't know if you remember this you.
Speaker 2:You and I did a workshop or something at Greater Allen.
Speaker 1:Cathedral In Queens, New York. Shout out to Greater Allen Cathedral.
Speaker 2:And I needed a ride to the train station Because, if you know, greater Allen, it ain't near nothing. It's not near nothing Like it ain't near no train, maybe a bus, but it ain't near nothing.
Speaker 1:I remember I needed a ride and I was dating this gentleman right here, listen.
Speaker 2:I was excited I was waiting to get into this oh yes, so we get in the car and I'm just talking to you and amanda about life like I'm dating this guy. I really like him I think he's the one that's long distance.
Speaker 2:At the time I was living in lana, he was still living in brooklyn and you guys gave me I don't know if you remember what you talked, what we talked about, but one of the things that you said we were just chatting, but I know it was a very valuable and you were, you guys were telling me your story and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:And one of the things that your wife said is you know, life is just cyclical, like things happen in cycles and and you'll know that that person is the one for you when they can just go through the, go through the things with you. You know like, and because I actually, how do you guys know life, you go through things. You know you together, not together. You know she's like we've known each other since we've met in high school, she's like we've been through things.
Speaker 2:So when that person can go through things with you like that's how you'll know and I never forgot that you know, because the truth is, um, you do, you go through things, you learn things about each other you learn things about yourself, that's all the amount of things I've learned about myself oh my gosh. I'm like girl, you something else, and so you guys have such a functional plug for your podcast, this functional family let's go marriage. I'm sure it's not perfect, but it's close. I'm honored to have a peaceful home.
Speaker 1:I like going home to yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes we brag on the opposite a lot and talk about the opposite a lot. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, you can say I am glad to have a home I like to go home to you guys. How do you do it? What are some of the things that you guys do to really keep the you guys are loving? You're fun, you're flirty. It's not corny, it's not like we're Christians Right, right, right, nah, nah A lot of things that you know that I thought as a single person and I was like I would look at different marriages.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And there were things on my. I'm going to take that and I do. You know, we have my house is very fun and flirty. Yeah, you know, we have a good time up in here. Let the church say amen.
Speaker 1:Yes, what a bishop voice are you, but yeah, give advice to.
Speaker 2:We do a lot of giving advice to single people, Sure Give some advice yeah. To younger married people, let's say 40 and under 40 and under the young folks?
Speaker 1:That's a great, great question. Of course, I could go so many directions with it. The first thing I would say is that this is advice I got a while ago. But two masters in a relationship never work, but two servants always work. Two servants always work, servants always work. That's good. Two servants always work.
Speaker 1:I think when you become not to a fault, not detrimentally but when you become consumed with the wellness of the one you've been given and you really trust God that they are consumed with the same, it's not much you got to worry about. They take care of you. That can go anywhere. That can go to the bedroom, that can go. Because, watch this.
Speaker 1:We think about trust, like, oh, I got to have trust, trust, trust and yes, you need trust. But we limit trust to just like are they faithful to me outside of their presence? But trust is also about are the decisions they make in service of our whole? When I'm out, when, like when I'm here right now, when I leave here, what I do with my money matters, yes, to the whole of my home correct, what my wife is doing right now with her time matters to the wellness of my children when they get home from school, like you, tracking like trust is much bigger than just outside of my presence. Are you faithful to me? It's outside of my presence. Are you making decisions that serve me?
Speaker 1:Right, and we are in a self-absorbed. Here's the challenge. Right, speaking of that like countercultural, counter-narrative, just have to be really sensitive to what's informing, what you think the summit or the apex of a good relationship is. So if you're being informed by a society, that is the minute somebody do you wrong, you out, you out, and it's like that's not realistic, because I'm not saying to take anything, but it's not realistic because there's some things that, when you're living with a human, are just going to happen. Yep, it's just, it's just going to happen. So I think a lifelong journey of servanthood is the answer.
Speaker 1:Like I am, I am regularly trying to figure out how to serve yeah that woman I live with, yeah, and I know it helps her in how we both love our children. It helps her and how she reciprocates that servanthood and that love. Like I know, we talk about love but we don't realize how much servanthood, yes, is involved in love, right like the epitome, the really popular scripture john 3 16. The epitome, the really popular scripture John 3, 16, the epitome of love is like that God gave. It's like something had to be sacrificed in order for him to really embody this picture of love that we would understand. So, yeah, I think, a lifelong journey of servanthood is really the answer.
Speaker 2:That's good. That's really good. Let's talk about your babies.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about them.
Speaker 2:Yes, how's being a dad changed you for the better.
Speaker 1:Listen, I I would say this there are ways that we there are different things in life that are teachers, right? I'm going to say that this is no slight to anybody. That's not a parent. I want to be very clear. This is my experience. Parenting is one of what I believe. It is one of the most formative ways to become like Jesus.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like to me, parenting is an invite into becoming more like Christ. Yeah, like to me, parenting is an invite into becoming more like Christ. Like other things, teach you to. Suffering teaches you Right. Hebrews five says Jesus learned obedience through suffering, right, so suffering teaches you. You just talked about it. Marriage teaches you something about. Parenthood. Teaches you so much about like. Right now we have an 11 month old at home she turns one.
Speaker 1:We have three kids, but our youngest is 11 months. She turns one um uh, this year. Right, and here's the deal. She can't do anything for me right now. That I can do for her, it is unilateral love. It goes one direction. Yeah, I feed her.
Speaker 2:I close her. I protect her. Yeah, change that.
Speaker 1:I change a diaper I wake up, put it asleep, kissing her and giving her affection, giving her attention, giving her appreciation, giving her affirmation. She's not doing any of that for me, right, what, what? What other dynamic can you learn the love of Christ that fast? It's like an accelerated program into learning how to love like Jesus. And here's what I love about kids, and I'll close with this. When it comes to my girls, I love my children. Here's what I love about kids Parenting will only be successful when both parties remain students.
Speaker 1:So if you look at Proverbs, right, I know it's a book of wisdom. But if you look at the authors, the sages of Proverbs, the wise people who are writing mainly Solomon, but there's other sages that are writing they're writing to their sons. It's actually a letter to your son about how to practically navigate earth. If you read who their audience is, it's not meant for the world, it's meant for their child. Right, about how to practically navigate the world. Yeah, so we have a parental responsibility to teach our children how to navigate earth. I never thought about that.
Speaker 1:But watch this on the flip side. Fast forward New Testament, mark 10. Like one of the only three times or two times you see Jesus get mad in scripture is when his disciples try to keep the children from him. The Bible says he grows indignant and he says suffer the little children, bring them to me Right. He puts them on his lap. He says unless y'all become like one of them, you won't enter the kingdom of heaven.
Speaker 1:Watch this. Proverbs teaches us what our responsibility is to them, but Mark 10 teaches us what their responsibility is to them, but Mark 10 teaches us what their responsibility is to us. We have an assignment to help them navigate earth. If we remain in the posture of a student, as a parent, they are assigned to help us get to heaven. Yeah, it's, it's dual apprenticeship.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:How do they grow into successful adults here on this earth? How does our soul go into childhood to get to heaven? Oh, it's happening both ways, and I can't stop learning, and they can't stop learning yeah, yeah, that's good, that's that I sit and I watch them girls all day I love it.
Speaker 2:You have very confident daughters too, oh my god. Um, I gotta know that a good amount of that's because of your wife, because Amanda's very confident.
Speaker 1:You know it's so funny.
Speaker 2:She is not like a wallflower at all.
Speaker 1:You may think it. You think it's that way. She's quiet on the surface, but when she let you in, when she's comfortable, you get to know.
Speaker 2:And she's super smart as well. Absolutely, what are super? Smart um as well, um, absolutely, what are you doing to instilling your daughters?
Speaker 1:you know as black women.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a level of confidence that they can show up the way I've seen your daughter rap, all of it you know that they can show up the way that they're, that they're showing up that's so good.
Speaker 1:I've learned um shout out to to denise boggs um some of the work she does with parenting and children. Um, there are four A's that every child is actually searching for that when any of those A's are not fulfilled in their childhood, there are more fractured ways that they go and try to replace it in adulthood.
Speaker 1:Attention affirmation appreciation, affection, attention affirmation, appreciation, affection, attention affirmation, appreciation, affection. I am very intentional about making sure I hit all those markers every day. When my daughters are telling me about something that happened at school, I'm not scrolling while they talk. I look them in the eyes, I listen Attention Affirmation before I drop them off to school. I look them in their eyes, I listen Attention Affirmation Before I drop them off to school. We say the same thing every morning. I am blessed.
Speaker 2:I am brave, I am brilliant, I am beautiful.
Speaker 1:I say it, they repeat after me every morning, without fail, right before I drop them to school. I am blessed, I am brave, I am brilliant, I am beautiful. I love that Affirmation every day it's in them. It's in them right Attention, affirmation, appreciation. They do something for me. I say thank you.
Speaker 2:I don't just like girl, go give me the right, give me the remote.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like thank you, baby, I appreciate it, yes, right.
Speaker 2:And they see you appreciate their mom.
Speaker 1:Come on, if we go there, we can go there Right. And then affection. Now affection can look different. I don't want to get into love language, but right now, for Emery, who's still a baby, her affection is just let me grab your face and let me rub up on you and let me get up under you when it's time to sleep.
Speaker 1:But Yaya, who's 10, it's like when you drop me to school, daddy, don't kiss me in front of my friends. I'll give you a hug when I get home. Okay, if that's when you want it, that's what you're gonna get it, but I know you want it. I know that's what helps to mold a healthy child. Um, so I give her that affection. I just I just cater it to when she wants the affection. She wants the affection when I come home from work yeah, that's when I give it to her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I ain't gonna embarrass her in front of friends, right she wanted that? That's amazing but I make sure I like on a daily basis I try to hit all four of those things yeah I love that you, you and your wife, have a podcast called this functional family yeah, yeah, yeah and you guys give marriage advice, intimacy advice.
Speaker 2:Y'all be buying people free lunch sometimes. What's your favorite thing about that podcast and just about having a platform where you can talk about family?
Speaker 1:listen, um, I think that, as I mentioned earlier, there's, there are narratives that float on the internet, on the media, um, and sometimes even in the corridors of our own minds, based on our experience, and we always look at healing as just something that happens to the body. But if you, I'm going into some Christian context, right, but like when you, when you look at that word salvation, like when Jesus saves us, when we get the word saved from that, that word salvation, it comes from a word salve-a-l-v-e, which is actually in context, historically used to be associated with healing. Yes, elixirs, yes, right, so, so, salve that we get the word salvation from, meaning to be saved is not just to be bought back and redeemed from a thing, but it's also to be healed yeah, come on, bombing gilead.
Speaker 1:It's the bombing gilead so I think that we have found that there is. There are narratives that float, that cause sickness, that cause hopelessness, or the sickness of hopelessness in love. I remember when you got out my car the other year and you were talking about your now husband who? You were just dating at the time. I remember when you got out, me and Amanda prayed for you. Me and Amanda lifted y'all up for the longevity, for the peace, for the wisdom, that if he ain't the one, god let her know.
Speaker 2:Now, we never got to. Just you don't know this.
Speaker 1:We pray for you, so it's like it's so many negative narratives that are causing deterioration of the soul in a sickness and it's like how do I offer hope as healing?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because the body is not the only thing that needs to be healed. Yes, the heart, our hearts, our soul. Even the word we get hey, I'm getting in the preachy nerdy bag, but like the word we get soul from is suke in the greek but it's p-s-y-c-h-e, it's just pronounced suke. That's where we get psyche from. It's like. So the soul is the mind, the will, the affection, imaginations, emotion, emotions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the suke, that's the soul, oh so good all of those things need healing because they're broken by a fractured world. Yeah, so the most exciting thing that we get to do is like when people dm us like yo. The episode changed how I talked to my wife the episode or that that content changed how I deal with my child, even when I'm frustrated, yeah, you know what I mean. Like that's so good it's the testimonies, it's the healing, yeah, it's the salvation.
Speaker 2:All right, I got two more questions. Do your thing.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry I got no. It's fine, I love this this is.
Speaker 2:This is me. I love it um. You are a campus minister. Associate minister at change church big church in Atlanta. Yeah, four uh services on a sunday my god you guys are getting ready to go into a new territory there as well. Yeah, you're serving under a worldwide known pastor, dr darius daniels, who I quote almost every episode people be like don't you go to a different church? I'm like I do, but I'll be watching. He's brilliant and I sneak into to change whenever I can whatever my schedule allows me to.
Speaker 2:What is it like for you, as a man of God, being under submission in this role, but also knowing that God has, you know, called you to some things?
Speaker 1:as well, I feel like you played you.
Speaker 2:You play the line so well like maybe not playing right Clock it.
Speaker 1:You respect that, that the line so well.
Speaker 2:Wow, maybe not playing right. Clock it. There you go. You respect that line so well. I feel like there's no ego, you're just happy to be of service.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2:How does that feel, how does that work? You know being under somebody like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's. You know, at first it's intimidating, of course, especially when you start to see how he actually views you. It's like, oh, you think that?
Speaker 2:highly of me. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:It's like wow, okay, you have to have a healthy heart.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because you don't want pride to sneak in or ego to sneak in. But in addition to that, you also don't see, we always talk about like ego and pride, but we also don't talk about how the enemy also uses low self-esteem. Yes, and insecurity and insecurity Right, so it's like ego and pride are like the evil twins of another twin. That's just as bad. Yeah, it looks just like it. Insecurity and low self-esteem also plays a factor. So you got to make sure your heart is free from both ends of that spectrum. Yeah, also plays a factor. So you got to make sure your heart is free from both ends of that spectrum. Um, but I think here's what I understand about visionary leaders like a darius daniels when your dream is so big that other people's dreams fit in it, that's when you attract and draw, that's when you attract and draw other visionaries, that man's vision for the kingdom of God is so large my dream, actually fits.
Speaker 1:That's good, and when you know God's called you to a person, as opposed to being resistant to oh I should be doing, I should be doing Lake God coast Cause a lot of things you should be doing will be better under that.
Speaker 2:Yes A hundred a thousand percent. Oh, that's so good.
Speaker 1:So I think I've learned from my time with him.
Speaker 2:And you know God might do other things right.
Speaker 1:And he might call me somewhere else or whatever. Right, but right now that's home.
Speaker 2:That's my pastor.
Speaker 1:For such a time.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think his vision for how he wants to get jesus into the world is so big, yeah, that my dream fits in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's why I can? That's good, that reminds me of something that you said in in a sermon as well, where you talked about so many people being under what you call the demonic snare of comparison. I I feel like you don't struggle with that, do you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think if you got eyes, you struggle with it. Okay, yeah, I think if you got eyes, you struggle with it, but it's not. I think here's a problem. Well, he's not a pastor now he used to pastor but one guy, sean Lovejoy. He would say this to leaders. He would say some of us have problems to be solved and sometimes we have tensions to be managed. And if we call the tension a problem, we'll spend a lifetime trying to solve something that I'm not supposed to solve. I'm just supposed to manage, manage. So when it comes to like that comparison snare that traps so many of us, I don't think it's a problem we solve. I think it's a tension we manage. And when we realize that we won't continue to feel like we're like failing at it, it's like oh yeah, I do like what he's doing, I do like what they're doing.
Speaker 1:Then you remain watch this. You remain receptive enough that you could be learning from someone instead of envying the thing, because you're wasting time. You're wasting time envying it's like well, if it is something I feel I'm called to.
Speaker 1:Well, I play the comparison game about what they got, what I don't got. It's like what could I learn from them? Yes, you know what I mean. The comparison game about what they got, what I don't got. It's like what could I learn from them? Yes, you know what I mean. I think when you, when you like, reframe that you don't, you don't give, because comparison is like the front door into envy's house. Yes, so it's like first it starts as comparison and then it's like come on in and then you get in.
Speaker 2:It's like envy lives here, yes, toxic jealousy lives here, no, I didn't mean to walk in his door all the time is. You can't go into the devil's house and then tell him to stay in the corner right once you go in. He's taking over, it's over. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So so I think when you see comparison, you got to be able to reframe it and say okay, let me not fight against what I'm feeling to compare, but what is what is inspiring or informing my need to compare? It's like, oh, because I want more in this area. Yeah, all right. Well then, what can I learn? Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2:That's good. I love that we asked a question to close out our show here. Okay. And that is, in the grand scheme of things. What do you want your legacy to be?
Speaker 1:Oh shoot.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:It's a deep one, right. That's heavy In the grand scheme of things. What do I want my legacy to be? I think it's a theme that's kind of been threading in the tapestry of this conversation, of this conversation, I think I want my legacy to be the answer for people who are trying to soar as a servant. I think I want my life to be. This is how you can soar from down here.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love that here. I love that, I love that, yeah, I love that Soaring as a servant. Reminds me of the scripture that talks about Jesus stooping down to make us great, stooping down to lift us up. I love that. Listen, this was incredible. This is one of those episodes where I know I'm going to go back and watch it so intensely. Because you gave us Bible.
Speaker 1:You gave us jokes you because you gave us Bible you gave us jokes, you gave us all. Listen. I enjoyed my time, so thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2:Tell the people where they can find you anything you got coming up, let them know.
Speaker 1:For sure, for sure. Listen, you can find me at TheRealDashawn, that's D-A-S-H-A-W-N Robinson, therealdashawnrobinson. You can find me everywhere at that. And oh, on, youtube Official Redeemed, go check out some music, some music videos.
Speaker 2:We ain't even getting to the music, bro. Listen, it's all good. It's all good. That's how we know each other. Right, right, right.
Speaker 1:That just goes to show how full our cups are this season, our cups are full. So yeah, man, y'all follow us. This Functional Family TV Not TV, not dysfunctional, but this T-H-I-S functional family TV on YouTube, on Instagram, facebook, on everything, tiktok, all that, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Listen. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate it. I know that my community is going to eat this up.
Speaker 1:So I'm not even worried about it. I love it. I'm honored.
Speaker 2:Listen, this has been another episode of. I'll Just Let Myself In With your Girlish Speaks. Like I said in the beginning of this episode, we are not waiting for imaginary permission slips. If you can let yourself into somewhere, that means the mechanism to get into that place is available to you. The key is under the mat. It's inside the rock. The door might be automatic. If you just walk close enough to it, it may open for you. That's how we operate here at this podcast, so please let yourself in.
Speaker 2:If you're watching us on Holy Culture, sirius XM, channel 140,. Thank you so much. If you're catching this on Holy Culture's YouTube or on my personal YouTube, lish Speaks, thank you so much. Please share it with a friend if it blessed you. Share it with somebody if you love it. Share it with somebody if you feel like there was a gem drop that they just have to hear. We also would love your reviews. If you're listening to this on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Podcasts, leave us a review. Let us know how you're feeling about the podcast. Also, share with your friends there. And last but not least, we have an email speakers at lisspeakscom where you can send us questions, thoughts, feelings, maybe if you're too shy to leave a public review. You can tell us how you feel there. We'd be happy to hear from you. I can't wait to see you again for another one next week. Love you for real Peace. I have a great day. Don't bring no drama my way. Don't bring no drama my way. Don't bring no drama my way.