Mia Jaye: 0:00

People have no idea the amount of like hatred that I received in the midst of the most catastrophic traumatic experience. You know people would literally be like oh, like that was like you had something to do with this and it's like, wait what?

Lish Speaks: 0:16

And this is for men, women, parents, all that stuff. Do not be running around talking about how I do anything for you, I die for you. I do this for you, but you won't go sit down and talk to a therapist for them. I'll die for my kids, but you won't go sit down and get in therapy to have a better relationship with them. You know I'll do anything to be successful, but you won't get a business coach. You won't go to therapy to figure out why, how much we'll do anything To die. Yeah, you know what I mean. Don't nobody even want to die, no way, yeah, yeah, you know what I'm saying, right, exactly.

Mia Jaye: 0:50

So, basically, you summed it up beautifully.

Lish Speaks: 0:52

Thank you girl, I do talk for a living. Listen, what's up everybody. Welcome to another episode of I'll Just Let Myself In which a girlish speaks. This is the podcast where we don't wait for an imaginary permission slip or some seat at the imaginary table. We literally let ourselves into our God-given doors, we take chances, we ask God what we should do and then we really try hard to obey over here at this podcast. If this is your first time here, you're going to be encouraged, you're going to be inspired, you're going to feel better afterward. First time here, you're going to be encouraged, you're going to be inspired, you're going to feel better afterward. I'm excited because I have a guest who really is, someone who I personally know really is after God's own heart, and so I love this about her. She is a mother, she's an advocate, she's a businesswoman and she is the fiance of the late Young Dolph. Her name, for those of you who may not know her, is Miss Mia J. Thank you so much for being here, mia.

Mia Jaye: 2:09

Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate just the opportunity and the invitation.

Lish Speaks: 2:15

Absolutely, absolutely. Mia. I have prayed with you. I have been a part of one at least Bible study group that you have curated and led, and, although we don't speak every day or even every month, every time I have had an interaction with you, your heart to want to be closer to God and write with God is so evident to me. I think it's so. It's a side of you that people may not know because you're not doing it for show, but it is so evident in your lifestyle, in your prayer life and how you show up for your friends and the type of mom you are. And Holy Culture is a Christian hip hop radio station, and so somebody might be thinking why are you interviewing Mia J? Because she's a woman of God in real life, in real life, in real life.

Mia Jaye: 3:12

And you know, what's funny about that is that I think that I definitely like. I think that if you follow me or if you come across, I'm always going to give glory to God because he deserves it Right cross. I'm always gonna give glory to God because he deserves it right. But like um, I probably am not. As um, I would say like I don't probably post the many things that I actually do right in terms of like, like caring for my soul and my salvation, and just my relationship and yeah, any of that like, because a lot of that for me, like you know, you know everything that I've gone through has been public.

Mia Jaye: 3:49

Yeah, right, it was, it was. People have no idea the amount of like hatred that I received in the midst of you know, like the most catastrophic traumatic experience.

Mia Jaye: 4:03

You know. People would literally be like, oh, like you know, it's like people will come up with anything, right? So people, literally it was some people and it was growing like that was like you had something to do with this and it's like wait what? And it's like people will kick you when you're down. And I was down and you know my most public demonstration of my faith and I mean I'm talking about I know that this was nothing from, but God, like I wanted to go hide away, like I'm not, I want to shut down everything. You gave me a platform. I don't want it. This people, like the things that people are saying to me, like how I feel, and I ended up going to a Sarah Jakes conference or whatever, and her message was like it's somebody in here that want to go hide away because you feel like you don't have the ability to stand tall in in the face of adversity, but God is telling you no, you need to stand. Like you, he's with you, tap into his ability.

Mia Jaye: 4:52

And after that I did um, like 30 days of praying on my on my pot, I mean not on my- pocket but on live, and that was the first time I ever publicly displayed really like my, my faith, and this was where I was the weakest. Yeah, I mean, I was still weak. This was 2022. Um, so people saw it, but I'm talking about the first day.

Mia Jaye: 5:10

People will come on him and just say you deserve to die and da, da, da, da, da da say the craziest things and, um, you know, and I think that God just showed me like, allow me, like here for me. I wanted you to stand tall, I wanted to get the glory and you to be able to see that through me, I can do all things right. So he showed me that. But then it was like it got to a point where I felt like it now you need to to have some space to really hear me, hear my voice, um, be still, um, you know, and and and not that I have to try to, you know, hide my relationship or nothing like that it's nothing like that.

Mia Jaye: 5:58

But I think it got to like I need to get into more intimate spaces so I can really grow, yeah, and get to know guys. So if I don't like, if people don't know about my, my Bible study, it's like it's not nothing like that, it's just like it's so intimate.

Lish Speaks: 6:10

And it's really a beautiful space. It was a beautiful space.

Mia Jaye: 6:14

I appreciate that. Yeah, it's just, I just want to. It's like me and my boo me and God. No, seriously, I'm serious. So, you know it may strike some people as odd, but it's like, literally it's deeply, it's like I will tell anybody I'm only here by the grace of God. I love it.

Lish Speaks: 6:32

I love it. In the month of May, we've been doing this series called Mothers I Admire, and so I had an episode with my mom, dice Gamble. We have you here, and I feel like your motherhood is such a large part of your joy. People may ask you how are you still so joyful, how are you still so giving after everything you've been through? Not only did you lose Dolph, you lost your brother. Yeah, very close in the same time frame, right A couple of months before, if I'm not mistaken.

Lish Speaks: 7:04

A year, a year before To violence both of those and you've spoken in other interviews about how you still got to get up and be mommy. Yeah, you still got to get up and encourage. You still got to get up and do so. You know, when it comes to mothers who are going through a difficult time right now, what's something that you would say to encourage them or just help them keep going?

Mia Jaye: 7:29

I definitely went through like as much as so before even all of that happened, you know I started like mommy, yo mom the mom CEO because I was like, look we, we got a real responsibility, like you know, running businesses and all of that. It's cool, but the way these kids turn out, you know the real legacy yeah, that's the real legacy and we, we just it's so much culture.

Mia Jaye: 7:50

It's like you know, learn how to balance, learn how it is and how your business and have three, four, five businesses and where he's like, wait, first of all, ma'am, I'm not a super superman you know, I'm not a person, I'm one person and and the responsibility of raising children in itself takes a lot. So not to say you can't do anything else, prioritize that first and then everything else. So that was already where I was going, just kind of where I was positioned.

Mia Jaye: 8:17

And so when I had a hardship come. It was times where the demand of being a mommy and the demands of my children and expectations, it was times where you know the demand of being a mommy and the demands of my children and expectations. It was a lot, you know, it was a lot and it was, I would say, probably the first six months or nine months or so. It was a whole lot, but my mother was there for me right, my mother was there for me like two years.

Mia Jaye: 8:42

So caveat, you know, for women that's going through things. Some people have their mothers, have somebody that that can be there, but if they don't, it's like listen, don't look at me as being like well, she was able to do it, so I gotta put like I had help, that's first and foremost yes, my mother had to come to me at one point, like the kids are saying that you're not spending enough time, and you know she just. I really snapped on her, to be honest with you, because I was like did you tell them what all I got going on?

Mia Jaye: 9:08

I'm doing the best I can, and I broke down crying. But I was in that space and you know, mommy, I'm sorry about the baby.

Lish Speaks: 9:16

I'm sure she has forgiven you. No, she knows, but.

Mia Jaye: 9:19

I snapped because I'm just like I can't have that expectation of me right now. You know it was a lot. But then I was glad she told me that because it was like a gentle reminder, like they need you. Yeah, just as much as you've lost, they have too, you know so Come on mom.

Mia Jaye: 9:34

Yeah. So it was like you know. From that I was like, okay, I started. At that point I was like, well, let me start going to my son's school, my kid's school, every Friday. I would sit next to my daughter during chapel and I would have lunch with my son, just so we can build a bond. And you know, when I tell them chapel, I'll be up in there. They talking the most elementary version of the Bible and I'm crying Like like we sing it all Ministering to your soul.

Mia Jaye: 9:57

Ministering to my soul, so it was like as much as I felt like I was being there for them. I needed that Right.

Mia Jaye: 10:02

And I'm just saying that just to say I think sometimes we always feel like our kids are pulling from us, but sometimes they're actually pouring to us or our obedience to just show up for them.

Mia Jaye: 10:14

It's like they can give us love, like my kids would just come up and just like you know, mommy, I just love you so much and you're doing so well, and you know that's music to your ears when you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. So I would just encourage mothers that are going through things to embrace their children, because it may just be the love, or embrace, spending time with them or just different things as you can, because sometimes, like I said, it can be overwhelming and it's like I don't have that to give. But the moment you can make room for it and have it to give, it'll do so much more for you. It'll warm your heart, it'll touch your heart, it'll love like such an unconditional love that you may be, you know, just not expecting and that's what I felt. And so my kids actually helped me more than they. They added more burden or pressure to me.

Mia Jaye: 11:00

It was like, oh my God, I just see the best parts of him. And you guys?

Lish Speaks: 11:12

And pressure. To me it was like oh my god, I just see the best parts of him and you guys and I just love you so much come here like so. So that's when you first had your son, um, or?

Mia Jaye: 11:17

found out, you were even pregnant. What were some of your fears about being a mom, if you had any girl? So my, I think it was just like wait, what did I just do? How old were you? I was 24 when I was pregnant, right, and so Dolph, uh, the thing was, is that you know all honesty, transparency um Dolph?

Mia Jaye: 11:33

you know he really he was super, super busy, very, very tunnel driven and gotta be when you in in that mode yes, and, and I knew he would do extremely well because I just, he was just a man of few words, but when he says something, girl listen, he would stand on it. You could take that chick to the bank, it ain't gonna bounce Right. So he was just like that. But I was like you're just too busy. Like I was at that point in my life just early, just graduated from college, like maybe this isn't you want this, but I don't think it's working you know, working, you know.

Mia Jaye: 12:06

And so when I found out I was pregnant, it really shocked me, because I was just like doctors told me that I was gonna have, like I wasn't gonna be able to have no kids, right?

Mia Jaye: 12:10

I didn't know that so that, and I think they told everybody around this was HPV time, like it was telling. I talked to 25 women that was around like grew up around my age, that that time period, and they would just say, like you know, oh, you know, I guess, trying to get you to take the vaccine or something Like they would say you may not be able to have kids. And so they said that so much and my mom was like she's not taking it. So I started to believe and, you know, not really understanding, yeah, I was like I don't think I can have kids. And he really, he was like 27, he was three, four years old, I mean, he was, yeah, I was 20. Well, however it was, he was older than me. He wanted kids really badly. And I was just like, yeah, we not even ready for all of that.

Mia Jaye: 12:53

So when I found out, it was way like, wait, I'm happy I can have kids, but can we send it back? I want to put it on Laelway. I was like, wait a minute, more than nine months, yes, yes, please, can I like put it on Lil Way. I was like, wait a minute, I need more than nine months. Yes, yes, please, can I like put this on pause, so I was not happy. I was actually very sad because I didn't never think about it Like I wasn't.

Mia Jaye: 13:12

I knew he wanted kids but I was like I'm not ready for this Just graduated college, invested six years of my life trying to figure out my life and now I'm a mama Like trying to figure out my life and now I'm a mama Like what? But once I got over that hump and I realized the blessing that my son came here, I think you know the scariest part about it was just like I don't know nothing about this.

Mia Jaye: 13:34

I mean I would cry Like. I remember he was probably like a couple, maybe two weeks old or something. He wouldn't latch on and I'm like he going to die, he, not he eat, like. And I was so extreme with everything. I'm crying because it's that first time, mommy, I'm like is it something I'm doing? Because I thought everything is me Like he won't eat, he looking sickly, like you know, I just I was scared about everything you know, and so I think that my just not feeling like I know what to do. I'm the baby, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know if that means anything to anybody listening.

Mia Jaye: 14:07

Like when you're the baby, everybody cares for you, for you yeah, I don't care for nobody like that. So it was just like. It was very scary for me, like just this whole new reality. But I can say, you know, I think I had my mama there. She stayed with me like the first three months. My mama just always been showing up.

Lish Speaks: 14:25

She was at the Bible discussion that I was in. She was right on that Zoom like hello and will show up that mother support you know.

Mia Jaye: 14:33

So the question. I guess you're just saying, like, what fears did I have? I think I was just fearful of everything.

Mia Jaye: 14:43

And the one thing I can say is like, when I look, look back, it's like trust God. You know, if you know like I was praying at that time, I was, you know, praying over like just God, where are you taking me in my career, this? And that I was asking and praying for things. And I don't think I even understood the depth of prayer and all of those things, but I was praying and the one thing I can say is that I'm like this, I'm scared with this guy because he busy but he got a good heart that's all I used to always say and you know he just always said I will always be there, you and my child would never have to worry about nothing no

Mia Jaye: 15:11

other man ever have to take care of you or him. Um, and I'm gonna be there and we, we gonna do everything. We gonna have a family, we're gonna get married, all that and I believed him. Yeah, I just like he ain't gonna like. I believe the things that he said, but when I look back, it's like God knew what he was doing and he did give me. That man has held his word, like he's to this day. He's not here anymore. But he still took care of business.

Lish Speaks: 15:38

Right.

Mia Jaye: 15:38

And I just be like that's something God he put me with somebody that he was like look, this is about to be a gift to you. Like this is about to be a stand-up man, somebody that your children, if your son, turned out to be. This man today is going to be something you could be proud of yeah, and that's true Absolutely, yeah.

Lish Speaks: 15:57

Yeah, I love you talking about your relationship with your mom, because so many of us as women whether it's a mom, an auntie, a grandma, a teacher that we had there's some woman in our life that kind of taught us how to be a woman, you know, and you also have a daughter. So now you have your mom, you, and you have your beautiful looking just like her daddy.

Lish Speaks: 16:22

She look like you too, though, but she look like her daddy, both of them. Both of them look like both of them. Both of them look like both of y'all. It's interesting, yeah, um, but uh, when you put her and Dolph next to each other, it's like whoa, like that is. That is her daddy's daughter. She's so beautiful. I love a chocolate girl period period, um, but you have your mom and you have the lessons that your mom has instilled in you that I'm sure you want to instill in your daughter. What's one of those lessons, one of those things your mom told you that you're like? I got to make sure I teach this to my daughter. I have one, which I'll share as well, right right From my mom.

Mia Jaye: 16:58

I feel like so funny story is like when I was growing up, me and my mother did not have a great relationship, right, and I was a daddy's girl, so I feel like I'd be like everything. I feel like she told me I ain't listened to, until like I listened to her more now as an adult, right, but I think it was a generational curse If I had to say anything. Her, my mom and her mother didn't have a good relationship.

Lish Speaks: 17:20

Right.

Mia Jaye: 17:21

Um and so when we were growing up, when I was growing up, it was like you're just so mean, I don't like you, like that's how I used to feel. But I think the biggest lesson is to break generational curses because me and my mother when I went off to college.

Mia Jaye: 17:33

We bonded, our relationship and that stronghold that was on our family. Like these, these mother daughter relationships are being like just weak and not there, non-existent or whatever. Relationships are being like just weak and not there, non-existent or whatever. We built um such a bond and like you know. So I was in psychology class. I get on the phone like I'm taking the psychology course and they said that some new term and I'm like I think that's what we experienced. So I'm like therapy in us.

Mia Jaye: 17:57

But she was talking to me, she was open, she was apologetic, she was.

Mia Jaye: 18:02

That's how I feel about my dad. Yes, it's like when a parent can like just you can have just like just open book conversations and just kind of you know, kind of like we could just kind of heal those. So I think if anything I learned from my mother, just in terms of the entire experience, is like be willing to apologize to your child, be willing to talk, to be willing to fix. You know, like you may do something wrong within your parenting I'm not going to be perfect but be willing to own up to it, be willing to see from your child's point of view and mend whatever brokenness may be there, and I feel like my mother she did that. I mean, we had some times where we cried together over just healing those wounds from childhood and I feel like us doing that. So early I was probably like 17, 18. It allowed for our relationship today and along the way, like just to be stronger than ever. And now me having a daughter, it's like second nature to me, like we got, like she told, like I embrace, embrace her.

Mia Jaye: 19:05

I let her speak her mind, because I'm very vocal, very vocal, yes, yes, and smart and smart and she'll tell me, like you're my best friend, you know, I tell you everything. I'm like yes, girl because and the bond is, it's like my mother taught me later in life, but nonetheless, how to have a real strong bond with your child.

Mia Jaye: 19:24

And I think that's what I'm teaching my daughter is like look, it's me and you Like. We here, I got your back, I will listen to you, I will respect you, I will love you, I will correct you. And you know we can't have no messed up relationship. We will work at it. Yeah, like you know, no matter what, I love that.

Lish Speaks: 19:50

That you will work at it. Yeah, like you know, no matter what, I love that. That's good, I think, for me and my prayers to one day be a mom of a daughter or two, but one of the things I feel like my mom does very well in my adulthood and you know, my mom Mama bad, so sweet.

Lish Speaks: 20:01

So sweet she is very. She loves her children out loud, like you people say. Like I never, my mom never told me she loved me. My mom never told me she was proud of me. My mother tells me all the time, yeah, all the time. She texted me this morning I was just up thinking about how much I love you. Just want to text you like she's very, um, affirming in that way. She will tell me how proud she is of me. She will tell me she will. She's the first one to watch every podcast. She's going to send it to all her friends. She's going to put on her face she don't play by me.

Lish Speaks: 20:33

Yeah, and I think for me it's something that maybe she wishes she got from her mom. Yeah, and I want to make sure to give that to my daughters or sons, you know whoever. If God allows me to be a mom, I want to make sure I pass that down, because I think it's so easy sometimes to just you know I'm proud of them, they know I love them, you know, and not be vocal about it. So I want to be very vocal, like my mom is with me and I think it's so funny that you talked about like you and your mom having a rough relationship? Because I feel, like me and my mom, we didn't have a rough relationship, but I wasn't very. I wasn't like a vulnerable kid. You know, I had some trauma happen to me that she was unaware of and um, and I just had a lot going on and so I wasn't super like mom.

Lish Speaks: 21:20

This is my day and this is how I'm feeling, or whatever, and I feel like she tried and then I feel like, as I got older, the roles reversed, where she wasn't as vulnerable with me, like my mom's always been loving and giving, but like she's not gonna say this is how I'm feeling. I'm sad or I'm this or I'm that. So even right now, one of the things we're working on is mom, just talk to me, woman to woman. I want to know you as a woman. You know what I mean. I want to know you as a woman, you know what I mean.

Lish Speaks: 21:44

I want to know you how you feel about things, if you feel like I do something that's wrong, or you know if you want better out of it. Like we can talk to each other. We can ask each other what we need or how we can be better, and I think she's working on it. I don't think it's easy for her, yeah yeah, yeah, no, for sure my father.

Lish Speaks: 22:03

Funny enough, this is not about fathers, that's next month but he's very vulnerable, which, when I was a kid, he was very yeah, I'm going to take you to play basketball, you know what I mean. He was there. He didn't live with us, but he was there for me, but it wasn't emotional. We didn't have an emotional connection. We connected over music. We connected over pop culture. Yeah, you know, um, I think I'm the one of my siblings who he trusted the most to like make logical, unemotional decisions, because that's my personality.

Lish Speaks: 22:35

Um, my husband might disagree, but everybody else would say that's my personality, um, and so we had that relationship, but as an adult we had like my father and I will cry to each other, you know, like he's probably one of the first people I call for good or bad stuff, you know. And so it's very interesting how those things change, how those tables turn. But I think one of the biggest lessons that I've learned from both my parents is that vulnerability is what has to happen for you to be close to your adult child. Yeah, because your adult child is not your kid child. Yeah, and once they become an adult and don't need you for physical support, all they actually need you for is emotional support.

Lish Speaks: 23:21

And if you're not vulnerable and you're closed off and you can't apologize or you can't initiate an apology or initiate a tough conversation, you will have a very surface relationship. So, mothers out there I'm not a mother yet, but I am a daughter, and let me give you this advice If you're struggling with your relationship with your adult daughter or your son, I wouldn't even dare to say try vulnerability, try initiating that thing. You think about that you did as a parent, that you're like I. I wish I never did that or I made a mistake, or every time you think about it, you try to to take it out your memory, because you cringe bring it up to them, put it out there, talk to them and say you know what I was thinking the other day when, when I was raising you guys, I was really busy or I was really this, I was really that.

Lish Speaks: 24:01

How did that make you feel? I'm sorry, you'll be surprised the level of conversation it will open up, because now your adult child knows that they don't have to protect your feelings because you are allowing, you're opening up space for you guys to have a conversation about how something may or may not have made them feel it works wonders it does, and I think you hit it on it like.

Mia Jaye: 24:25

so basically, you summed it up beautifully, thank, you girl, I do talk for a living, because I'm like it was exactly that, that's what like. So me as a young child having a relationship with my mother, I really didn't care to have it. It's like I got my dad and then when my dad, you know, decided well, we going to be in separate houses, that made me mad too. So it was like, you know, bump all of y'all. It's me be the world.

Lish Speaks: 24:47

It's me be the world right. That's how I felt as a kid too. I didn't have to feel that way, but that's what I told myself.

Mia Jaye: 24:59

That's what I told myself, you know, and so I formed my relationship with I'm listen, it's me v the world. You know Samoa, right? But man, it was just so beautiful my mother just being able to be vulnerable with me. That's exactly what brought us closer together and I got to know her as the woman. I understand her Like it was like dang. You know I never thought about that you had children very young, and how hard that probably could have been, because I can't see me having no baby right now.

Lish Speaks: 25:28

Word.

Mia Jaye: 25:28

You know, that's how I would look at it and it made me appreciate her more. It's like I seen her perspective and her lenses and so, and it just had allowed me to trust her. So, where you know, I'm now opening up to her, I'm having these conversations with her, we, we just we formed our relationship later in life, but it was beautiful. It's been beautiful, yeah, and I'm just great.

Mia Jaye: 25:47

I'll be grateful to god, like I'm glad that you listen, as knuckleheadish as I was, you know what I'm saying that you still was leading and guiding me, even when I I just probably would have thought it was all me, like yeah, I just call my mom, and it was like, but no, it's something that you, that you put on me, cause I could have been like I don't like her. I could have had a hardened heart, I could have, like, really not wanted to receive her and wanted to continue that pattern Like I don't like her. I never liked her and whatever you know, not been willing to or not go to college, not to go in that class, to even it pumps me Right. But whatever, it was the journey and the path that God put me on. I just like, thank you, thank you for that opportunity.

Lish Speaks: 26:26

And I love that you called it out as a generational curse, because it is a generational curse. It's a generational curse when you come from a family and your mama didn't get along with her mama and your aunties never got along, and now you and your siblings don't get along and you and your mom don't get along. You know we don't look at it like that and it also is a generational blessing. You know my mom is very close to her sisters. Yeah, and seeing that is the reason my siblings and I are so close, we don't play about each other because we didn't see that. You know what I mean. Now, on my dad's, side.

Mia Jaye: 26:55

There was some other stuff there, right?

Lish Speaks: 26:57

and I think that and they're working it out. God bless them. I love my aunts on that side, but they, you know, but on my dad's side, there was some other stuff there, and one of the things my father always says is I'm so grateful that you and your sister specifically, have a great relationship because his mother fell out with her sisters. So guess what my aunt saw, that's what they saw, and so those generational curses can become blessings. Yeah, you know, and, and you can turn, turn the table on your whole trajectory of your family. I appreciate you know, my grandmother on my mother's side was very close to her sisters, so that's what my mother saw. So it's right, generational blessings, just generational blessings. And there are things that, even though, even when me and my siblings have gone through things or disagreed, um, you know my sister too, you know, um, we, we're like uh-uh, let's fix it, let's figure it out, because you know what I mean. This is all we know. We don't, we, and then you don't be one of your parents you want to know what's funny.

Mia Jaye: 27:55

So I met your mom and your sister before I met you. Yes, I promise, the way they talked about you were you not in the room, sis? Listen? I was like they taught this lady is amazing just by how they talked to you. No, I'm so serious. They was like you didn't get to meet, like your sister was talking about you. She, I think you, her little sister right, I'm her little sister. She like she, my little big sister. They it's like I'm just saying I was looking forward to meeting you because I was like the way they talked about her she sound real bomb, like um, but that's beautiful, though, just to know that, even when you're not there and I'm genuinely being honest, I'm not even just trying to throw some sauce, because what she's saying like they really uplifted you, like they were so proud of you and just you know, just the woman of God that you are, like it was I'm.

Mia Jaye: 28:39

I don't even remember exactly what they said, but I remember how they made me feel like well, me hurt, she's all real dope and, and they just really just lifted you up.

Lish Speaks: 28:48

They hold me up. They hold me up, and my brother too, like my. I'm very blessed. I tell people I could go to the circus. My family would be right there, like all right, well, we did, we get our tickets. Let's at the circus. Like no, you know what I mean. I was 30 something year old female rapper, because that's different than a 30-something-year-old male rapper right. And my family was not playing like, oh yeah, my sister rap. It wasn't like, oh yeah, she trying to be a rapper.

Mia Jaye: 29:10

Like embarrassed about it, you know.

Lish Speaks: 29:12

And I think it's some of it, and you say this about Dolph too. Some people when they say I'm going to do it Period, and I think that it allows people to get behind you in a way. But there are people out there who don't have that and I don't take it for granted that I have a mother who will tell anyone with ears about anything I'm doing, and she does. She does speak very high. Shout out to you, ma, we love you.

Mia Jaye: 29:47

Shout out to you, right, shout out to you.

Lish Speaks: 29:50

Let me say this you talked about how people on social media have said crazy things to you. Right, as a mother in this day and age, our kids, right, I'm going to say our, in Jesus' name, but our kids, our collective kids, kids, the children of our world. They are growing up in a world that we did not have to navigate. Yeah, at least not until we were. We were already 18, 19 by the time, 17 at least by the time we got on social media. Yeah, so you know what is. What do you allow? They're still kind of young, but what do you allow them to see or not see? Do they have any? Are they on social media at all? Like what do you allow them to see or not see? Do they have any? Are they on social media at all? Like how do you protect them?

Mia Jaye: 30:29

so so I'm a real like, I'm a real old school parent like I got an old soul up in me and I know this, but it'd be like, listen, we we not doing it right? Um, so they're not on social media the most I let them do. They like, well, can't, they don't do tiktok, because I'll be like even you. I took youtube away from them because youtube you gotta watch it be too many things and and I have to be too many like eyes, ears, and what I recognize is that, as a parent, to be honest with you, I know when I did I ain't gonna talk about what other parents do, but what I did and what I noticed that I did, is that give them that ipad so you can have a moment, so you can, you know, have a moment, so you can, you know, have a moment right, and it really affords you not to be as engaged as maybe you need to be right.

Mia Jaye: 31:08

I also understand everybody's situations be different. So if you working and doing all of these things da-da-da-da-da, it is easy and convenient, right, for me it's like recognize your situation. You in a situation where Dolph didn't even want me to work because he like listen, I need you to be, I'm going enough, I'm doing enough, I'm supplying enough. I need you to be all hands on deck with these kids and he used to say he used to get on my nerves.

Mia Jaye: 31:32

I'm like I was sure I'm like I got purpose. Yes, I got a story to tell man, yes, you know. But I'm so glad he like almost beat that in me in a sense, you know, because it's like he was so right. Somebody gotta be real active and and to be honest with you, I never saw that as a black woman. I don't know black homemakers, I don't know. All I know is, you know, career woman. In my mind, growing up I wanted to be a successful career woman like what I saw on tv and you are. But go ahead, yeah, but I'm talking about in the girl I want to glad, I want to be on the 35th floor.

Lish Speaks: 32:09

You want to be Robin Givens and Boomerang Me too.

Mia Jaye: 32:11

Or Taraji P Hinton or any you know all of them women that's like these. The boss, the boss, be that. So I never thought about, I never even saw a glamorized version or anything that even seemed appealing to me as like a homemaker motherhood yes, same but like the 50s, 60s and I ain't want to be having no big mama vibes. No, that was not what I saw, but yeah, I'm glad that he pushed that, like he helped me to see the blessing, and like this is not everybody, everybody's not able to right.

Lish Speaks: 32:46

That's a that's a blessing.

Mia Jaye: 32:48

Yes, and so you, you can go every friday to go and have lunch with your kids. Yes, and sit it like that's a blessing right, um.

Mia Jaye: 32:56

So I think that I recognize that I needed to just fill up their schedules, fill up our schedules, do more things, and I take those ipads. I'll be like y'all can go outside, y'all can play different things, and so they're really not like they like to get on there to probably, like aria like to do some fashion stuff. Um, youtube I done took it away from them because I was like it's too much stuff. It was something. Trey ended up saying that really, when they do stuff it gives me it's like where you with that from yeah, yeah and he said he it was.

Mia Jaye: 33:21

It was something so inappropriate that he didn't even know was inappropriate, right, and we ain't about to say it on here because this is no right, but it was something he said. He made a noise and I was like I didn't even know what it was.

Mia Jaye: 33:33

To be honest, I thought the video was funny, like him and his friends, and I sent it to one of my friends. She was like do you know what he just said? And I was like she sent me the video, what it was tied to and what, and I was like, see, I'm glad because now I can got proof of why I'm taking this away from you. So I showed him. I was like this is so inappropriate. This is why I don't like you to be on YouTube, y'all, don't?

Lish Speaks: 33:54

you don't know, you don't know, you don't know what you're doing, what you're saying yes, it's too much stuff, I can't filter it all.

Mia Jaye: 33:59

Yeah, so we not doing that. And so you know, ari would be like well, mama said nothing, like no, if you do what I'm telling on you, I'm like that's my girl, that's my girl Cause we besties and I gas her up, I'd be like, come on, bestie, let me know.

Mia Jaye: 34:13

But I explained it to them and then I I put it like you know, now the Dolph is not here anymore. I'm like and you said it for a reason when I put that on there it's like it's still the deal, like you know what she's right, and so I have to use that, you know, in my defense, in in terms of, like, trying to solidify what we are doing and what we're not doing. And they do abide, they listen, they don't, they don't buck me, they they're not there yet. Thank lord, hope we don't never have to get there but, but they actually listen.

Mia Jaye: 34:43

So I just, like I said, to answer that in a more succinct way. It's just being more present with them, putting them in things of their interest, keeping them busy, Yep. And, like I said, it's like I'm like no, no social media right now. They don't even have a phone. I bought my son a watch. I love that. I'll get you an Apple Watch, Something chill. Listen, get you an Apple Watch. I can call you on it. It got cellular on there. I just need to be in contact with you. I don't need you to have so much accessibility to your fingertips. Yeah, I just can't do it, Like you know. And so they have iPads or whatever, but they don't. I feel like my kids, me going super old school, going against the grain of what society is doing yeah, it's like you, you gotta go against the grain.

Mia Jaye: 35:23

just because everybody's doing it, it's so normal, it's so everywhere, it's like at some point we gotta push back and be like listen, yeah, I'm gonna go against the grain, I'm gonna do this other way. I'm gonna go real old school, um, and then it it will cause you to be like so how are you gonna be weaved into this?

Lish Speaks: 35:41

and present in this.

Lish Speaks: 35:42

Yeah, yeah yeah and I think that the amazing thing about that, too, is parents, because, you know, I work with the youth and so one of the things I've realized is that parents have lost control too early. Yeah, I think there is a time that you're supposed your children are supposed to come of age, you're supposed to start figuring out, yeah, what they believe about things and what they actually think, and start to grow their own voice. But that used to be a teenager, yeah, it's now an eight-year-old. Yeah, because they done googled this and youtube that, and it's like you still need to be the man at that age. You're supposed to still be the main influence over your child. Yeah, we're so much so that if someone tell them something at school, they gotta come back to you and say someone said this, is that true? Is that true?

Lish Speaks: 36:27

You know what I mean, or at least to an auntie, or uncle somebody, and these kids are not doing that no more because they just going to Google, yeah, and that ain't going to chat GPT them as your children grow older and it's appropriate. But I think you're doing the right thing, because the thing you said that I want parents to hear if you didn't hear nothing else, she said you can't filter at all. You can't. You think you're putting these parental this and da da, da, da. You can't filter at all and they know the technology better than we do.

Mia Jaye: 37:01

Listen, Trey. I was like wait, I put a lock on you, how'd you do it? And he was like wait, I put a lock on you, how did you do it? And he was like he did something. I'm like I don't even know how you're getting around this, but listen, and I would just tell him. And especially when their father passed right.

Mia Jaye: 37:16

I told him. I was like listen, it's going to be tempting. You're going to want to go and try to find out stuff and it's a lot of people out there that's gonna try to convince you that they know exactly what happened. I see it all the time. It's some hurtful people out there, it's some evil people out there and it's some people that will mislead you. And listen, I promise you, I give you my word. The minute I know what happened, I will let you know. You don't have to search and fish and listen.

Mia Jaye: 37:42

I ain't about to have you out like there, like that. But do not go searching for this Because it's too much information and I don't want you to break your heart Because it broke my heart. I don't want you to experience the heartbreak that I.

Lish Speaks: 37:53

You already got heartbroken enough.

Mia Jaye: 37:54

And I talk to my children, I'm talking how I'm saying this to you. That's probably verbatim what I said to them and I said just give me your word if you feel like at any point that this is too much for you. And you just so tempted you like you're scratching you like, I gotta, I gotta know, like I was like please come to me because we'll do it together.

Mia Jaye: 38:11

We'll do it together. I think you'll need some support because it's really like it's a lot right. So and they was like I promise I won't do it. No, kids, we'll be kids. I don't know, I'm not saying that I think they're perfect little angels and they didn't do it. I don't know, but I put that out there.

Mia Jaye: 38:26

You know what I'm saying and the way that I'm going back to something that you just said. I think the biggest thing is just the relationship, the relationship with your kids. It's like boundaries are cool but relationship supersedes, all right. So when they will respect the boundaries, provided that the relationship that you're intentional about having a good, healthy relationship you respect your kid. It ain't just that Do what I say, not as I do, and talking crazy to them and disrespecting them and putting them down Like you can't do that, like I came up around that a lot, like you know, just not necessarily my mother did that to me, but just Generationally.

Lish Speaks: 39:02

Yeah.

Mia Jaye: 39:04

People talk bad to their kids, but just generationally. Yeah, people talk bad to their kids. Yeah, talk bad. Call their kids out their name, just talk to them like they nothing yeah, off the street. So I don't believe in none of that right me neither.

Lish Speaks: 39:12

Thank.

Mia Jaye: 39:12

I praise God, it wasn't raised like that yeah and and, like I said, I witnessed it. I witnessed people closer to me. I'm like, dang your mama talk to you like that. That would hurt my feelings and I always wonder, like, how does that make them? Yeah, no, and they're like, oh, I don't care and I'm like you got to. That hurt me.

Mia Jaye: 39:30

I mean like, but I'm saying all that to say it's the relationship and I'm really big on having I tell my kids like, listen, now the daddy's gone, we all we got it's our unit, you know, and not we got our own other family, but this household, yeah, this is our household bubble. You got to look out for your sister. I got to look out for you. We got to look out for each other. The relationship is so important, like the love we have, like, and then I will also bring their daddy back into it, because this you know how daddy was about. So it's like when I put them stamps on there and then, on top of that, my kids they all have have a. They both have their personal relationship with God and they went to a Christian school and I'm like, and this is what God expects of us Girl, I put that look, still signed and living Like girl. That's how I do it. That's how I now have to parent when it's like I don't have. I felt for so long so inadequate to do it all by myself.

Lish Speaks: 40:31

But between they earthly father and reminding them of him and they heavenly father, listen. You better preach, listen. I love that. That's really good.

Lish Speaks: 40:34

You said in an interview, going back to what you just talked about, about people being on the internet saying, thinking they know, thinking they know. You talked about how you stopped. You had to, like, block out all of that and you just need to trust god with the outcome. And you talked about trusting God so deeply because, like that, you said, that's all I have. I have to trust God. I'm not going to let myself go crazy. I think verbatim is what you said.

Lish Speaks: 40:56

You know, listening to everybody's theory or what they think this, I have to trust God. That justice. Well, I think the question you were asked specifically was do you think justice? Do you ever think justice won't be served? And you said no, I believe justice will be served because I trust God. How do you get to that level of trust where you're letting God be your co-parent, you know, where you are not going on the Internet looking at every little thing people said, trying to be your own detective, putting pieces together where you're really able to still have joy, smile, give to other causes, which we will get to as well, that level of trust in God. Where did that come from for you?

Mia Jaye: 41:34

I think it literally comes out of exhaustion and like it's like. It's like like I'd never understood this until about now, like when you've done all you can do you just stand.

Lish Speaks: 41:44

Yeah, after you've done all you can shout out donna mccorkin, right, I'm like I don't.

Mia Jaye: 41:48

I mean, what else is there left to do? I mean I know I'm gonna go crazy doing this because I'm on the verge, tinkering around with, you know, allowing a lot of, just a lot of stuff coming in and having me.

Mia Jaye: 41:59

Yeah, noise, I'm, so I'm, I'm kind of feeding into it and then, like I'm sticking my baby toe in it, but it's like I need to get that thing out of there Because don't let my foot get swallowed up and you know, I get a stronghold on that thing. It just suck me down. So, out of fear of losing my mind, it's like well, fear doesn't come from God, okay, so how do you not?

Mia Jaye: 42:19

have the fear. Well, you need to get away from that sticking your baby toe in. What do you do now? It's like better trust that God gonna come through. And then my my therapist, um, this was like when I was, when, when Adolph was still here, she introduced to me like cornerstone moments, like we it's a faith-based therapy session and she was like you know, I want you this was before he passed and everything she had me to um write down. She was like I want you to think of as many cornerstone moments in your life where God showed up and something you pray for. You ask where he showed up. Go as far back.

Mia Jaye: 42:52

She had me to do an exercise, like when you were in your like young years, when you were young all the way up until like where you are now, and I did that and this was probably, I would say, within the last, the three months prior to him passing, and I feel like even that was done on purpose because, now I done, did this before, like where my mind is clear and I can think about it, I'm not all pressured, and so when I go back, I write a lot, journal a lot, and going back to be able to see all of these cornerstones historically over my life where God showed up, where it's like he didn't leave me destitute, where it's like things I prayed for, where it's like man, this was put on my spirit and I followed it, like just all of the things I was able to see and I just those conglomerate of cornerstone moments reminded me like you can't lose faith now, yeah, and you don't got nothing else else to do.

Mia Jaye: 43:42

So I was just reminded heavily like God got you. He always has, yes, and and like I said, it was that exercise and just just like I said, even when I would, just I'm desperate yeah.

Mia Jaye: 43:55

I'm desperate, actually, and I don't. I'm so desperate listen, I don't. I don't know nobody else that can help me in this moment. You know what I'm saying. And so when I started to look at the at it from that standpoint and continue to pray, continue to trust, I mean I could the things that I was writing down, my prayers and the things I was asking for. I started to see, though those were added to those, that list of cornerstones I could continue to see. So then it just constantly strengthened my belief and my faith, like this is working. He's still listening to me. You know what I'm saying. He's still he. I asked him can I smile? I'm smiling, you know, like. Or I asked him, you know, because I was just like, I'm tired of being so sad like.

Mia Jaye: 44:32

I'd be about to cry all the time. I just want a little joy, you know, and I. It was like I started to feel moments of joy and just different things. It was just so many things along that journey where it was like he was. I just know it's like he's answering my prayer. So I'm saying all of that to say it was wasn't easy to have the faith, but it from a desperate standpoint and just not knowing anything else to do and being reminded of where he has brought me from literally looking at it on paper. It was just like, let me just. This is where I'm arrested.

Lish Speaks: 45:03

You know, yeah, yeah.

Mia Jaye: 45:04

I love that. Are you still in therapy now? I am.

Lish Speaks: 45:06

I only go once a month now that's okay, I go once a month now growth yes, um, I heard you talk about how you and dolph were in therapy together and I remember, specifically on amanda seal's interview, where she was so shocked like really, really, um, I love that you talk about this, because so many black men look up to him yeah still, and they need to hear that.

Lish Speaks: 45:31

Real men, you know I'm saying I would say real something else, but we on a christian radio station sure go to therapy, right and so for that, for that, for that man, that black man who deserves to live we about to get to that who is like I don't know about the therapy thing, like what would you say to encourage them to push past their fear Because it's usually really fear, whether they want to admit that or not and go to therapy?

Mia Jaye: 46:00

I mean, I just think that it's like be honest with yourself. What do you want, right, like, do you want to be better? Do you want your relationship? Like Dolph went because he would say what? I mean, if you think that's gonna make the relationship work, fine, you know, like because why? I don't understand why he would push back. Like I don't understand why you feel like you gonna listen to somebody. Everything they're gonna tell you I'm gonna tell you it's like, but it's gonna come from somebody else and they're unbibiased and if we're going to make this work, our family work, this is what it is. So the thing is is that he ultimately did it because he wanted his family to work.

Lish Speaks: 46:32

Yeah.

Mia Jaye: 46:33

You know. And so if a man black man is like, he wanted his family to be better, he wanted his relationship, the quality of his household to be better. So, if you want better, do something different. Yeah, you be better. So if you want better, do something different. You know what I'm saying? That you haven't tried out. Don't be so pushing back on things that you've never tried. And he ultimately ended up it was listen.

Lish Speaks: 46:52

He liked it every morning here.

Mia Jaye: 46:53

Listen, because he would. We would have two hour sessions the first hour he would get out. Every listen he would. I mean, whatever it was his issues with me. It's like almost like you got a referee, you in a ring like a boxing ring and the ref like, okay, your turn to get there, like if you just could pounce on somebody. He wasn't pouncing on me, yeah, but just having his, his freedom to be able to get it out and the therapist say okay, so what I heard you say was and the person and and people we.

Mia Jaye: 47:22

We love when somebody listens to us. Yes, we love to feel heard. We love to feel heard and that therapist listening to you way better than me, because I'm sitting here like I'm looking to want to say 52,000 things back, but she's like mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm. We're listening and I'm like, oh yes, actively, actively, right, and so that's all. Like you can just express all like, just do all your word punches, and it's not taking offense, and somebody listens to you back and tell you and then help the other person. She just say something like what I heard was and I'm like that's what you heard, because I heard attack after attack after attack and it helped me to better here. Yeah, so now we're just better like.

Mia Jaye: 48:05

So my thing is, black man, if you want to be better, if you're tired of your situation, listen like come on, you sound like a commercial, I promise, if you're tired of your situation, if you're tired of being sick and tired, it's like try something new, try something that you haven't tried. You know. Like like don't be the definition of insanity, like right, yes. Like don't keep doing the same thing, expect different results, exactly. So it's like trying and I just I'm grateful, I just be so grateful. When I hear so many people talk about how they may and won't do it, or men talk about like rebuttal it, I be like dang God, thank you for giving me a man that was so open.

Mia Jaye: 48:40

Yeah, and that showed me his heart for me and his love for me, that like I'm willing to do this, for us to work. That's so powerful in itself. Like you really love me, don't you?

Lish Speaks: 48:52

And let me say this about therapy and this is for men, women, parents, all that stuff. Do not be running around talking about how I'll do anything for you. I'll die for you. I'll do this for you, but you won't go sit down and talk to a therapist for them. I for you. I do this for you, but you won't go sit down and talk to a therapist for them. I die for my kids, but you won't go sit down and get in therapy to have a better relationship with them. I do anything to be successful, but you won't get a business coach. You won't go to therapy to figure out why you can't ever finish anything. We got to start living for people and not just talking about how much we'll do anything To die.

Mia Jaye: 49:22

Yeah you know what I mean? Don't nobody even really want to die, no way, yeah. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Not multiple, right, exactly.

Lish Speaks: 49:28

And so go sit down in that chair, give it a try, give it a try, give it a try. I'm such a proponent of therapy. I have friends who are therapists. I believe that even the healthiest of us need need to go talk to somebody, because the beautiful thing about therapy, and this is what I love about it I'm not currently in therapy, I need to get back into it, but the times I have done it. It is a time for you to talk about your feelings with no concern about the other person. Exactly. See, when you call a friend and you dump, what are you in with? Yeah, girl, but that's what's going on with me, but what's going on with you because? But what's going on with you?

Lish Speaks: 50:06

Because you don't want to feel selfish. You don't want to feel like you call them and just talk about them. Sometimes you won't even tell them the whole story because you don't want to dump on them, or you won't even call them at all because you're like she got a lot going on. When I was in therapy I was like I don't have to ask you how you're doing, I don't have to care how you feel, I don't have to care if you have a lot going on, because I'm paying you.

Mia Jaye: 50:27

And it's confidential and it's confidential and it's confidential. Yeah, it's great, I love it the one thing I will say. A caveat, right, I believe that do your due diligence selecting a therapist.

Mia Jaye: 50:39

Right, Because a therapist is not a one-size-fits-all Therapist is not a one size fit all. I would literally say write down what are some of the things that you're feeling Like, what are some of your issues, what are some of your goals. I want to feel better. You know what I'm saying. I really want to get out of my head for my childhood. I really want to, whatever it is, write down those goals you know and then try to figure out, like, is it like what is important to you for your therapist to have? Should they be faith-based or not? Right, be male or female?

Lish Speaks: 51:07

should they be older or young? Should they be the same? Uh, you know, race as you. Yeah, like and for me it's always gonna be.

Mia Jaye: 51:13

I want somebody that's black. I want somebody that's older, because I want wisdom. I want somebody that's faith-based, because I want godly wisdom. I want somebody who's a woman. Sometimes, sometimes, like, depending on what I'm going for, I do woman or male. But for me, if it's me trying to work on me, I want a woman and I want to then interview her. Yes, like you're paying this person, this is not like you're paying them. So I want to just ask you some questions to see if we align and just go through what is important to you, your lifestyle. You know just things that that they should be able to like. Are they married?

Mia Jaye: 51:50

for me, I want somebody who's also married, right, because, again, like, that wisdom for yeah, yeah, like you know, especially like then, like it's like I want somebody who was yeah, you've been married 10, 15, 20, 30, 40 years because guess what, the my little baby problems that don't come to you with what they may sound, like that or whatever. It's like child, listen, you're gonna be all right. Exactly. I need to hear that reinforcement. You know in, in that they don't tell you what to do or whatever, but they can. They can call like the right therapist can bring calm and peace to your spirit.

Lish Speaks: 52:18

Yes, absolutely um so I would totally say do due diligence. Yes, do your due diligence, and if you go to and it don't work, you don't have to go back.

Mia Jaye: 52:26

Yeah, You're not married to them You're dating.

Lish Speaks: 52:28

But when you find that therapist, I'm telling you it'll be great. Yes, I want to talk about two things in one, okay. Number one we talked about you being the mom of a daughter. I want to talk a little movement where black men signal to one another that I'm safe. If you see a black man, another black man, in our merch, you will know he wants you to make it home. Just like he wants to make it home. He believes you deserve to continue being a father and a man of the community, just like you just believe he deserves it. And so you guys will know you're not a threat to one another.

Lish Speaks: 53:15

Yeah, I thought that was so profound and so powerful. I feel like, with the rise of um more christian rap, um, with the, with the rise of more Christian rap, with the rise of people talking about how you know we got to treat each other as black people, I feel like we're getting to a better place. And I know we don't have the answer, but in terms of you having a brand like this, a movement like this, um, what's your hope, what's your greatest hope for it?

Mia Jaye: 53:52

yeah, I mean, I think my greatest hope to be honest with you, I think, in terms of defining that and and things change and like I'm really like God, help me to see what it like. You gave me this because you got to think this was not. This wasn't something like how this is all evolved. It's kind of something that was put on me like mommy, yo was something that like, okay, my hope for this is like women, let's show up and like prioritize motherhood, like being a mother, and did it like I could probably answer that and ain't touched it in a minute. It's on, it's on, been on ice, but it still remains the same. With bmdtgo, it's like I really be like god, like it's such a heavy brand, it's such a heavy call, it's like it's like literally every time I hear that somebody was killed at the hands of another child, lost their father due to violence, it be, it's like it opens up a wound.

Mia Jaye: 54:42

It's kind of like yeah, it kind of is like it's ripping it off and it's just like I'm so exhausted with that, right. However, I have been in this place where, like, like, what do you have for me to do with this?

Mia Jaye: 54:55

because I promise, I done, I done been to a place of just being exhausted with the heaviness of it all right, um, and so what he's been saying to me is like give this an opportunity, like to allow just your, your, your children, my brother's children, my nephew. He was like, um, he wanted to. It's like teaching me, I want to start a brand called time heals. And I was like, really, he was like, yeah, this girl I was talking to. She was like you know, oh, I'll never hear you talk about your dad. And he was like, um, yeah, he passed. She was oh, my god, I'm so sorry. He's like don't worry about it. You know I'm good now because time heals and he was like when I said it to her.

Mia Jaye: 55:29

I was just like man. I want young people to know my he's 17 about to graduate from high school.

Mia Jaye: 55:34

He's like I want young people my age to know that things happen but time heals. But I saw that and then he ended up quoting a bible verse and I just I felt like what it spoke to me is, like I was like you know what I want you to? I want to, I want you to be able to introduce that, uh, your, your brand, like it's doing, like a collaboration with bmdtgo, and I want you, as a young man to a young man, to your, your, your, your, um peers, to just be able to spread a message, so like reminding them that time heals.

Mia Jaye: 56:05

Black men deserve to grow old, all of it together and continue to let these fresh voices be able to advocate on behalf of themselves. And like it's, it's an advocacy brand, like because we're advocating for Black men to grow old. But I'm like I really want to see different, like invite different people in to be able to tell their story and through this brand, and continue to further the messaging. And just how does it speak? Like you know, after experiencing loss or trauma or different things, how can and that's really where I'm going with this Like I don't have the answers, like I think overall I would like for this brand to serve as different people telling their story as to why black men deserve to grow old.

Mia Jaye: 56:46

How are they impacted by that? This further remind like, where people are like impacted by man. I heard this young man tell his story how he lost his dad when he was 10. Yeah, man, man. Now it makes me feel even more like I have a due diligence to other black men, like it's something that's gonna have to have, this emotional trigger to people to feel like care for one another. Yes, you know what I'm saying.

Mia Jaye: 57:08

Like the bible says, like, the two greatest commands is to fear God and love your neighbor as yourself. And I think that just bringing that back into like, if we just that'd be the precept that everything is built on. Like, if you just love your neighbor as yourself, you don't want to kill yourself, right, you don't want to hurt yourself. You don't want to hurt yourself, you don't want to. You don't want to bring harm to yourself or your family, you don't want it, don't do it to the next person.

Mia Jaye: 57:34

And I think weaving that message into the brand and allowing it to be, you know, promoted and put out there and and however way God like can take me on that journey, because I don't have all the answers, I'm telling you, every time I have to turn to the brand it. It reminds me of the why I started it in the, the heaviness of it. It's not easy, I'm sure. I promise you it's not. Like I'll be having to put that thing on ice, because it'd be like like, yeah, I can't believe. It's just so much like when I, when I turn to it and see what it has become out of, what has been taken away from me, it'd be like bittersweet, yeah, you know, but I do have this real um, I'm very optimistic that it will. God will continue to show me how to take this message, this brand, how to take what he has given me, because I'll be like this came straight from you.

Lish Speaks: 58:23

I did not ask for this.

Mia Jaye: 58:24

Let's be clear, okay like don't, don't get it twisted you know, um to anybody just looking like. It's hard, but I'm I'm obedient and I will do what you have me to do. Just show me what you want me to do. And how can I be an impact to our community? How can I be a serve, as a reminder? And I think that the under the precept that just guides it all is just like reminding people love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Lish Speaks: 58:46

I love that for real. It's good, and black men deserve to grow. Old is about even more than violence. You know black men die from cancer yes, you know, far earlier than they should, because of late detection or not.

Lish Speaks: 59:01

Heart disease, heart disease. You know black men deserve to grow old. You know I envision so much happening with it. You know I'm a dreamer too like that, but there's so much that I feel like it can serve as a beacon of hope. Yeah, to remind black men that we want them here. Yes, we want you here. We want you in our homes we do. We want you in our churches. We want you to lead our families.

Lish Speaks: 59:27

I don't care what the world is telling you that you know, because you know, you let the internet tell it. Black men hate black women and black women hate black men, and that's the lie, but that is a lie.

Mia Jaye: 59:37

It's such a lie, such a lie.

Lish Speaks: 59:39

You know, and so it's important, and you called it a heavy call, and I want to commend you for knowing that it's a call. It's a brand, but it's a call. It's a brand, but it's a call, and you know that. Yeah, and I'm praying that God will send you the right people to hold your arms up as you carry it. Yes, because it's something that you started before Dolph passed. Yes, and without any knowledge that it would mean what it means to you on in your home. Yeah, and so there's a level of fatigue that comes with being at the center of a cause and there's a level of I had not now, but I felt guilty, I felt, like did.

Mia Jaye: 1:00:22

I bring this on myself um, it's like that what is Murphy's law of attraction right now? Listen, you rebuke that, but go ahead. Yeah, I rebuke that for sure.

Mia Jaye: 1:00:31

But it was a time period when I was going through it all, I was like because I couldn't believe it. I was like the very thing I was talking about just happened to me. Wait, should I just like? I felt like I should have just shut up. I really had a period where I was like I can't believe, like I could not believe it. It was just like is this Freaky Friday? You know like, how did this happen? So it was a period of time that I did go through that. But that's what also let me know, this is a call.

Mia Jaye: 1:00:56

You were called to do this, yeah, yeah, this is called. And now the enemy is wanting you to doubt what God has done. Yeah, like he was doing a great work and you couldn't see it. And he's still doing it. Yeah, and you kind of want to like. I felt like I almost didn't even want to talk about it no more. I wanted to shut it down Like not another black man on my watch, because what did I?

Lish Speaks: 1:01:17

just do but.

Mia Jaye: 1:01:18

I have. That's been rebuked. That's something that I. That was just what I guess the levels of grief and everything like that that you go through.

Lish Speaks: 1:01:26

But, um, of course, and sometimes God may be showing you that you need someone else to do the hands-on day-to-day. Yeah, you know, because again, you need a team, you need. I'm praying that God will send you your helpers. I appreciate that when it comes to that, because it is heavy, but it's important and it cannot. You still got two babies to raise, so it can't be all on you, you know, to carry that. And speaking of those beautiful babies, we talked a little bit about your son and it seems like he has some black men who have been graced to grow old around him. Talked about his karate instructor yes, when he was kind of feeling himself a little bit.

Mia Jaye: 1:02:04

His karate instructor had to Shout out to Coach Cam.

Lish Speaks: 1:02:06

Yeah, coach Cam had to, you know, get them together. Yes, we've seen him with Deion Sanders and, you know, with that whole camp and having him have his eyes on just the greatness that all that is right now. Shout out to them, shout out to the Sanders family, listen. Shout out to them.

Mia Jaye: 1:02:23

Listen, our family, the men Dolph's, cousins and brothers, and like he has some great men that are around him, that's molding him, that's reinforcing the principles that their dad like whatever, if they knew their dad, it's like those things. They're reinforcing that, um, and I'm super, super grateful. I'm super super grateful. Um, you know the sanders family. Shadur shadur asked me when every like when we first, when we got connected, he was like what do you need?

Lish Speaks: 1:02:50

you need anything.

Mia Jaye: 1:02:51

So I don't need anything but just consistently showing up for Trey. If you're going to have a relationship with him, just consistently, just show up. It don't have to be a frequent thing, just consistent man. He was like say no more and just the level of like holding his word, like holding true to his word, like he man Trey list.

Lish Speaks: 1:03:15

Like he done been to lunch with Trey, he done be outside like listen, we're drafting, I'm in the building.

Mia Jaye: 1:03:18

Listen, I'm talking like. But I'm talking about he went to his school lunch. He pulled up to him and had school lunch with him and his friends and like just doing different things to build that relationship to where Trey, like go to school like you're my best friend in college, like my, and you know, then just evolved like from best friends like this is my brother and you know, like they have a beautiful relationship it's. It's one that I'm like I'm so grateful that, um, what's? You probably know this bible verse. It's something about the, the deeds of your father, like when your, when your parent, does something really good, like good deeds, and the child reaps the benefit. Like it reminds me of that, because Dolph ended up like kind of being mentor form to Shador.

Mia Jaye: 1:03:59

And it's like the gift that keeps giving. Like it's this full circle moment and you know, now he's that to my son and I just be so appreciative. I'm like, I'm so glad of these relationships and how he showed up and, yeah, these meaningful relationships that he had, how my kids are able to benefit. Yes, shador has like shador, dion, sanders, shiloh, like all that whole camp, the the sanders family, um, they have demonstrated that. You know, like I didn't, we, I didn't have a relationship with them personally prior to that.

Lish Speaks: 1:04:31

Dolph did though.

Mia Jaye: 1:04:33

But because of their respect and their love for him and out of the relationship whatever was formed out of. You know, whatever like they done, just showed up quietly. It ain't about just the pomp and circumstance. You get what I'm saying. It's like literally like they be pulling up and making sure Trey good, and I appreciate that, you know.

Lish Speaks: 1:05:03

But the beautiful thing about what we see in that relationship is that we see Dion having had a certain level of influence over the integrity of his son and his son's word and now, because of that, your son is having that influence and more importantly than even that having that influence and more importantly than even that relationship maybe not more importantly, but in addition to he got his cousins, he got his uncles, you know, he got his father's closest friends, which are going to help him to have integrity. He got his mama period Cause let's not sleep on the mama Okay, the first teacher where he's going to be able to have a different life. And you know, I remember someone online which is why it's important that you don't have them on the Internet said something very silly about your son reacting or something to Dolph's situation, and you made it to the shade room. On that one you was like no, no, no, we're not speaking that over him. My son will not be violent. My son will not be violent, my son will not be retaliating. My son will grow up in a beautiful, safe space, emotionally and otherwise.

Lish Speaks: 1:06:07

Are setting yourself, your son and your daughter up to be some of the most strong and faithful people, because you're not wallowing in what you've been through, you're not even telling them yeah, you know, this is how you got to be, because the world did this and the world did that to your dad and don't let nobody. You are remaining in your softness, you are remaining in a posture of trust in God, and there is nothing like a mom who teaches you to lean on the Lord. I have one, and it is the greatest gift. I don't care what she did wrong, she got that one right and it is the greatest gift. And so I want to say to you, as you're sitting on my couch, as a mom who I admire, I collect things from all the moms I know. You know, for a long time I didn't want kids, and when I met this man over here, I want a little junior, a little big head baby.

Lish Speaks: 1:07:16

I started collecting things from the people I know who are moms, and one of the things that I've collected from watching you is to remain soft, no matter how hard life gets.

Lish Speaks: 1:07:20

Dolf said something that you quoted that if you're not in control, you're out of control, and I think you've elevated that for your kids by showing them if you don't allow God to be in control, you'll be out of control, and it is a beautiful thing to watch, for sure. So I truly pray over you, over your life. I pray for you all the time. Aw, thank you. You know we be in each other's DMs every now and then. You know I try to leave you alone because I be feeling like she got a lot going on.

Mia Jaye: 1:07:52

And don't do that Don of you alone, because I be feeling like she got a lot going on and don't, but don't, don't, don't be quenching the spirit on me like I don't got that much going on whenever something comes out, you know.

Lish Speaks: 1:07:58

I'll hit you or I'll respond to it because I just believe that there's something very special over your life and, um, god did not put you in the position that he put you in for no reason. Yeah, he did not put you in a position where you felt the need to pray for 30 days on your life and come to we didn't even get to your beautiful voice, but come to you know, shout out to the Clean Campaign, but come to a conference and do worship. That's the first time I met you and heard you sing and I was like there's something on this woman and even then you were super vulnerable. We prayed, we cried yes, there was. There is something very beautiful about your spirit. Everybody says it, every interview I watch with you, everybody goes you just your spirit, your spirit. You just got to and I believe that's because you didn't let how hard life got turn you hard. You know the same water that softens the potato, hardens the egg and you just decided to be a potato.

Mia Jaye: 1:09:02

A little soft mushy potato, a little potato, you feel me, but no, I adore you.

Lish Speaks: 1:09:07

I think you're amazing. Anything I could ever do Not that you need anything from me, because Dolph definitely set you up. Come on, black man, let's come on, get it together. Put some of the chains and the sneakers down and buy you some property man, which he did do. Um, and I'm and that just warms my heart, even when I hear you talk about that in interviews. I like we're good. You know what I mean, but God is gonna always make sure you're good. Yeah, I'm. I'm telling you that you will never lack. Yeah, I believe that you will never lack.

Lish Speaks: 1:09:36

I believe that Because of your heavenly father, because of my heavenly father, I believe that for that reason, and I just want you to know that when I watch you, I see strength, I see resilience, I see all those beautiful things and people are like you're so strong, you're so this, you're so that.

Mia Jaye: 1:09:54

But I also see a surrendered heart, and that's what God is going to continue to honor in your life, wow, and I thank you for just saying all of that because, to be honest, that's all of those things you said I set my intention on.

Lish Speaks: 1:10:06

Like.

Mia Jaye: 1:10:06

I surrender to you, Girl. I remember, speaking of singing, I was in my shower and I sung. I Surrender All and I cried it. I'm talking about snotty cry too.

Lish Speaks: 1:10:16

Like all the Davis cry.

Mia Jaye: 1:10:17

Yes, I mean. Like I never understood the lyrics, I surrender all, all to thee, my blessed savior Like I surrender all. I like I was so sincere. I was so sincere and that was around the time where it was just like I have, I don't have, nothing else to do.

Lish Speaks: 1:10:34

You know what?

Mia Jaye: 1:10:35

I'm saying With nothing else to do you stand. I literally just was like God I just surrender. I don't want to make, I don't know what to do you know, and so for you to recognize certain attributes and things that I have literally set an intention on. I'm just grateful that you, you know my light is showing up, that it's in alignment with what I have set, my intention on, yeah, you know, and it is not like I'm sitting here thinking I'm showing up one way, you like girl, and looking real cloudy over there.

Mia Jaye: 1:11:04

You know just anything, just like anything different than what you said. You you know, and I, and I just receive it and humbly you know what I'm saying Very, humbly, um, and I just, I'm just grateful that I don't know that. God gave me the, the, the, the wisdom, the insight, the. I could have did anything. I could have been a, a egg, a boiled egg, and I'm just grateful that I'm not. That's just, it's just. I'm so grateful that I'm not. I love that.

Lish Speaks: 1:11:34

We asked a question to end our show here, and that is in the grand scheme of things what do you want your legacy to be?

Mia Jaye: 1:11:44

You know, I want my legacy to be someone that when people think of adversity I say that I told my therapist I was like I see myself as a healing aid. I'm not a healer, I don't have no healing powers, I ain't no shrink, I'm not none of that. But I aid people in just healing wounds and I, you know and like directing them to the ultimate, the true healer, right. But literally, I would like for my life and my wisdom and my experiences to serve as just kind of like an example, right, like something that you can take from like listen, I know it's going to be hard, I know that you know, whatever, you might be going through a lot, but it will get better and allow my life to be proof that God is real. God does answer prayers, that you know. Just just keep on going Like you know, just helping, like giving little nuggets as much as I can Cause.

Mia Jaye: 1:12:39

One thing I recognize is that I can connect with words and feelings and things like that, like some things that you want to put a blanket over and can't really express it. I can get very expressive and if I got to listen, let me put it like this, and then I put it very expressive and if I got to listen, let me put it like this. And then I put it that way and I'm like you didn't get it, let's try it this way. You know, I really want to aid people to heal.

Mia Jaye: 1:13:00

Understanding, like even with Fresh Start Kids, my nonprofit it's like let's try healing in this way, different modalities of healing. I'm a person that's just like listen, I would like for my life to serve, and to the people closest to me, my children like I want you to be able to see how to navigate loss and pain and grief, and like hardship and everything and the spirit and the way that you persevere and did it. Like I want you to be able to see that so you can learn, listen, take a little bit of nuggets, you know, on your way along your healing journey so you can become more whole. Because that's that's what I'm striving for.

Mia Jaye: 1:13:33

Yeah, um, and so I genuinely feel like as the advice that I give my friends or people that come close to me or, like I said, the things that I carry out in my philanthropic endeavors and business. It's like I literally just want to be an aid to the healing process. Yeah, and really direct people. Like when people think of Mia, they say, man, like you know, her story helped me, or it was a, she left a nugget, you know, she's had a podcast, or I went to a healing session where we did some I don't know, yeah, like whatever I would be doing art, therapy or whatever it is just it's like you found yourself getting closer to being a healed and hold individual.

Mia Jaye: 1:14:15

Yeah, by your interaction with me and that just lets me know that, like, like that god is is really using me, and and using me as a vessel in his kingdom and I'm fulfilling purpose yeah, you are well on your way to living and creating that legacy and I really just am excited for your future.

Lish Speaks: 1:14:41

I won't say too much on camera, but I'll say this the Lord has a way of giving people double for their trouble. He has a way of restoring and, although things may never be the same, he has a way of showing us a different goodness. Yeah, that somehow makes the pain of the past just a little easier to deal with. And I pray that over your life. I believe it's coming for you.

Mia Jaye: 1:15:06

I really do.

Lish Speaks: 1:15:07

I receive that Thank you. Mia J, this has been an episode of. I'll Just Let Myself In With Lish Speaks. I hope you felt good on the couch. I hope you felt comfortable.

Mia Jaye: 1:15:18

A big comfy couch.

Lish Speaks: 1:15:19

Yes, yes, and I thank you so much for being here. Guys, this has been another episode of. I'll Just Let Myself In With your Girl, lish Speaks. If you caught us on Holy Culture Radio on Sirius XM channel 148 PMm Eastern Standard Time on Monday nights, thank you for listening there. If you caught us on Holy Culture's YouTube, thanks for listening there and watching there. If you caught us on my YouTube at Lish Speaks, first of all, make sure you subscribe, okay.

Mia Jaye: 1:15:43

That part.

Lish Speaks: 1:15:44

And then share it with somebody. But we thank you for catching us there. I'll just let myself in with Lish Speaks. We let ourselves in. We don't wait for an imaginary permission slip. We don't wait for the best circumstance or some magical thing to happen. We let ourselves in to what God is bringing us in and in this episode I hope you learn to let yourself into healing, because it is your door to walk through. Mia, do you want them to find you anyway, or don't find you Because some people be like don't find me? That?

Mia Jaye: 1:16:16

is so funny. Yeah, I mean, you guys can find me. I'm real a little quiet right now. I'm a little quiet, but you can find me at IamMiaJ on Instagram. Black Men Deserve to Grow Old all spelled out on Instagram.

Lish Speaks: 1:16:29

And.

Mia Jaye: 1:16:29

Fresh Start Kids is really where I've been pouring my energy old all spelled out on Instagram, and fresh start kids is really where I've been pouring my energy.

Lish Speaks: 1:16:34

We didn't talk about it that much, which is fine, okay, you sure, I promise we can edit it in.

Mia Jaye: 1:16:36

No, no, no it's cool, it's cool, but I mean, that's where I really am right now, like facilitating healing with children that have experienced trauma, so fresh start kids with the z yeah um, we'll link it all yeah, fresh start kids with the z yep, um that. That's where I'm really like feeling real feeling like I'm really doing a good work in the lives of these kids and just facilitating healing. So that's like my little baby right now.

Lish Speaks: 1:17:03

I love that, and we'll make sure that we link all those things below so that you guys can lock in. This has been another episode and I want to see you guys back same time, same place next week. Thanks for listening and I'll catch you on the next one. Peace, don't bring no drama my way. Don't bring no drama my way. Don't bring no drama my way.