I'll Just Let Myself In
"I’ll Just Let Myself In" is an empowering new podcast dedicated to people who are ready to take a chance on themselves and forge their own path. Hosted by Lish Speaks, each episode explores personal stories, triumphs, and challenges of navigating industries from the “outside-in.” From entrepreneurship to career advancement, self-care to self-discovery, this podcast provides candid conversations, practical advice, and inspirational anecdotes to motivate listeners to embrace their identity, defy societal norms, and pursue their dreams unapologetically. Join us on this journey as we celebrate the strength and tenacity of our guest and hopefully ourselves! It's time to take a chance on yourself and Let Yourself In!
Video version available on the @lishspeaks Youtube channel
I'll Just Let Myself In
Raising God-Fearing Children in a Distracted World - Into Motherhood
In this heartfelt Mother’s Day episode of I’ll Just Let Myself In, I’m sitting down with my mom for a candid and meaningful conversation about motherhood, faith, and family. We share personal stories, life lessons, and the moments that shaped our bond. From her wisdom on raising children to the values she’s passed down, this episode is a tribute to the strength and love of mothers everywhere.
Whether you’re celebrating your own mom or reflecting on motherhood, this conversation will leave you feeling inspired, grateful, and filled with love.
Send us a text with your thoughts, feedback, or questions for the host!
Our home is our first ministry. Your children are your first ministry, you know. So if you're going to say that you're a Christian, then be one. You know really. Let them see that. Let them see you deal with things on a spiritual level. Let them see, and even when you mess up, let them see you take ownership of that mess up. You know you did a great job. Yeah, Let them see you read your Bible. Let them see you pray, you know. Let them see that God is first in your life. Don't bring no drama my way. Don't bring no drama my way. Yeah, I might have a great day. Don't bring no drama my way.
Speaker 2:Don't bring no drama my way. Don't bring no drama my way. What up everybody. It's your girl. Lish Speaks, and welcome to another episode of. I'll Just Let Myself In. This is the podcast where we don't wait for imaginary permission slips. We walk through our God-given doors and today is a very special day. In honor of Mother's Day, which is coming up in just a few days. I have the most special guest. Now, I know I say a lot. I have a special guest and I'm really excited about this guest. But this is the most special guest because our guest today is none other than my mother, miss Beverly Gerald.
Speaker 1:Hi Liz, welcome to the couch, thank you. Thank you for inviting me.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. She's nervous. Y'all no need to be nervous, this is a safe space. I'm excited because I feel like, when it comes to motherhood, you have so much to share, not just from you know the fact that you're a mother, but your education and childhood, your many, many years of running childcare facilities and just your many years, as well, of helping other Christian mothers learn how to parent their children in the best possible way. You know that they could, and so I think this episode is going to bless a lot of people. Mother is really the crust of creation, right that none of us would be here without a mom, whether you have a great relationship with your mom, or a tough relationship with your mom, or no relationship with your mom. Without her you would not be here, right? And so mothers really are cornerstone of our civilization, of our creation. Mothers are the cornerstone of Black America, for sure, and so I'm excited for this episode. I'm excited for this episode.
Speaker 1:Me too, I totally agree with you Motherhood is the center.
Speaker 2:Yeah, motherhood is the center. All right, so before we get started, you guys know we got the best segment in podcasting and it is called what I'm stepping in, and today I'm stepping in a pair of Car who sneakers. Now, this sneaker was very popular in the early, like mid 2000s, and they got popular because certain rappers were wearing them Rappers who shall not be named because I don't support them anymore but certain rappers were wearing them and I really do love this shoe. It's the Carhu Fusion 2.0. I have them in the color that you're seeing on the screen gray like a teal, almost matching this shirt, and a purple. I love this shoe. I bought them at Dover Street Market in New York City many, many, many, many years ago, and this just goes to show you that you don't have to buy new shoes all the time. I still have shoes from when I was in grade school, believe it or not, and you've seen them on this show, and so I wear my sneakers. I love them. I don't even know if you'll be able to find these, but you know the motto here If you like them, go get you some, all right?
Speaker 2:So, mom, I have several questions for you, and they're questions that I think will really not just help you to reminisce, but also help mothers who are in positions that you were in in the past. Right, and the first one that I have is what was the scariest thing about becoming a mom for you? I'm not your first child, so I'm the middle child. I have an older sister, so when you found out you were pregnant with Sephra right, and the pregnancy lasted, it was going through. You know. You knew I'm going to have this baby. What was the scariest thing about that?
Speaker 1:Honestly, it wasn't nothing scary about it to me because I always wanted to be a mother. I know my own mother used to say I can't wait till you have some babies and a husband, because that's all I used to talk about.
Speaker 1:So I was extremely excited about becoming a mom. It didn't get scary until later, you know, when I actually had the baby. I mean, I always was scared of tiny babies, you know. So I actually had the baby. I mean, I always was scared of tiny babies, you know. So I stay with my mom. I am too.
Speaker 2:Did you know that about me? No, yes, I wish I could birth a teenager.
Speaker 1:Well, I didn't want it that big.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying I feel like that's what I'm good at like older kids, but like babies, but like them brand new.
Speaker 1:It felt like you would break them, like I didn't. I couldn't understand. You know, what do you do with this? So I stayed with my mom for six weeks with Seth, with my first baby, and she bathed her and everything because she just flipped her over. I just was like, so I guess, if I had to say something was scary, it was really, you know, taking care of such a small human being, but I was just excited to be a mom. It's something I always wanted to be. It's something I still love being, so it was nothing like too scary. Y'all scare me more now, that's fair when y'all was babies.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 1:If I'm not mistaken, you lost the child.
Speaker 2:Yes, I lost the child before I had Sephora. Yeah, I lost the child. How scary or rough, how hard was that for you?
Speaker 1:Well, because I wanted to be a mom so bad and I lost that child. It kind of made me feel like, am I going to be able to have children? But it was scary. It's scary when you're going through the actual Infertility stuff. Yeah Well, also knowing that you're losing a baby. You're seeing the, the stuff, but you know just things were happening that you know was scary, yeah, you know. And then to get to the hospital and realize that you know you lost your child.
Speaker 2:I don't know that whole story. We don't have to tell it on the podcast, but you don't talk about it a lot no is it something that you think about?
Speaker 1:um.
Speaker 2:I mean it was 40 something years ago now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was a lot of years ago. The baby would be like 40. How old is Kenya?
Speaker 2:would be the same about the same age as Kenya.
Speaker 1:Kenya Maybe a little.
Speaker 2:Except for 40. So a couple of years before that, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So yeah, it was a little intense. Me and your dad was really kind of sad about it, you know, because we was excited.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know, he has never spoken to me about it. You did tell me but he's never spoken to me about it.
Speaker 1:We talk about it a lot.
Speaker 2:That's interesting, you know, I think with me. I for a long time didn't want children as you know, yes. And then I got married to this big-headed beautiful man. Well, you actually did want children.
Speaker 1:Well, I did yes, and you used to want a lot of them. Lot, I used to want a lot of kids.
Speaker 2:She used to say I want six kids.
Speaker 1:I did when I was younger and I used to say you don't want six kids, because I wanted to be like grandma yeah, you know, when I looked around.
Speaker 2:So I grew up in a very big family, my grandmother had six children, so my mom had five siblings and we were together a lot, I had a lot of of cousins and so I always felt like, oh, that's family, that's the type of family I want. So when I was younger I used to say I want six kids. And then I got older and I was like, man, no, I don't, I don't want no kids Cause I started seeing people with kids, I'm like oh no, that don't look fun.
Speaker 2:And then I think too, for me a lot of me, as I got older, feeling like I didn't want children was because I was afraid of not being a good mom. I was afraid of being a single mom, and I think I was afraid of not being able to go after my own dreams and ambitions if I became a mom, and then I just always felt like even the married women around me were single moms, were single moms, and that's very, very true.
Speaker 1:I was like yeah, you could be married and still very much be a single mom.
Speaker 2:So I think I got a little jaded somewhere in my 20s. Then I met this beautiful, like I said, big headed, beautiful, sweet, kind, gentle, but also authoritative and just good man, amazing. And she loves her son in law. She likes him more than she likes me, but that's fine. Not you On my own podcast, no respect, but no. But he was like I don't understand why you don't think you would be a good mom, you know, and I had to really wrestle with a lot of stuff that I believed about myself to come to the conclusion that, no, I actually do want to be a mom. I just need God's help, you know, to work on the parts of my character that I always felt like wouldn't make me a good mom, and it's just no it's no formula to being a.
Speaker 1:I think it's just kicks in. When you have a child, you a mom and you're going to do everything to give that child the best to love that child. It's just no book, it's no nothing to tell you how to give that child the best to love that child. It's, it's just no book. It's no nothing to tell you how to do that. Yeah, you just automatically do it. I mean, some people like me. I was ecstatic, I just wanted to be a mom. Then my mom was such a great mom so I just really wanted to be a mom. So, but it's something that once you have that baby, every parental little instinct kicks in and you're going to do everything you have to do and the biggest thing is love. That love, that's amazing. I have that For sure.
Speaker 2:It's so funny because my friends are like you're so nurturing, why don't you think you'll be a good mom? And I'm like I nurture people who can get out my face. I nurture and you go. I love you and you go, I help you, then you go.
Speaker 1:The kid don't go, not for a while anyway. Exactly.
Speaker 2:But I'm excited now about the opportunity, god willing, to be a mom one day, and I feel like a lot of. I don't want to skip too far ahead because I'm actually going to talk about this more in the episode, but a lot of the things that you did as a mom are things that I always tell G that I'm like I hope I can do this, because you and I are very different. We are very, very different, and so I'm like, oh man, I hope that I can like muster that up, because I want my children to be able to say those types of things. But before I get into the things that you did as a mom, let's talk a little bit about your mom.
Speaker 2:So my grandmother, grandma Lucy May, who is, was really the matriarch of our family. You know, she was, said, a great mom and a great grandmother. We talk about her all the time. The children who were born after she passed know all about her. We definitely keep her legacy alive. Talk a little bit about how your relationship with your mom impacted the way you mothered well, my mom, we were her life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, like you said, she had six of us. Well, she had five of us because my baby brother came.
Speaker 2:Really I was like 14 when he came, so y'all were raised with five kids with really kind of like five kids, but we were like her life.
Speaker 1:She really catered to us. You know, growing up she made sure we and we weren't rich and stuff like that, but the things that we loved she made sure we had. She would get up, she would make five different breakfasts. If you wanted pancakes and you wanted an egg, you wanted cereal, she would do that. And when you look back, mothers don't do stuff like that, but my mother did that, you know, and as we got older, we were, you know, we didn't have birthday parties and big birthday gifts, but she made sure she made just the cake you like, whatever was your favorite cake, whatever was your favorite dinner. Now my mom and you got to remember I'm going to be 68 this year, so growing up, you look good girl.
Speaker 1:Come on, 68. Growing up it wasn't a lot of openness, you know. So I didn't talk to my mom about a lot of things. I was really afraid to tell her certain things because they had this picture of you. You know, my mom was like my girls better not, you know, have sex until they're married. So you don't want to let your. You know that sounds familiar. You know you don't want to let your mother know you out there doing it you know I'm 15 and stuff.
Speaker 1:There is no guarantee you're going to get married, like what are you supposed to do?
Speaker 2:Why did you turn around and teach us that then? Well then, I mean mean, I'm grateful I was walking.
Speaker 1:I was walking with the Lord and we were trying to do it and wanted to do it and I wanted to teach y'all to do it God's way. I wish I would have done it God's way. Maybe I still have a husband, I don't know. But anyway, you know, so you want to. I always wanted to look good to my mother, like I always. You know the things she would say I wanted to be those mother, like I always. You know the things she would say I wanted to be those things, even though I wasn't, you know, but I wanted her to think I was those things.
Speaker 2:So you cared a lot about her opinion.
Speaker 1:So I cared a lot about her opinion. I didn't know that I cared a lot about her opinion. So whatever she would speak, I would try to be that person you know. So whatever she would speak, I would try to be that person you know. But I feel like as we got older I had a great relationship with her. As far as she knew she could depend on me, like I was, and I know she could depend on all her kids, but I was that one that she knew would be there for her no matter what. You know who would get things done. Yeah, and get things done. So I think that drew us a little closer. I still was very hesitant about telling her certain things, especially when I got married, because she absolutely thought her son in law was.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:The cat's meow, you know. So she didn't even want to hear nothing. But you know, sometimes I would talk to her. I just felt like I wish she would have been that parent that gave more advice. You know you would go to her and she, you know her saying was well, you grown, yeah, but I do want to just hear what you think about it. I'm not saying I'm going to use your advice, but I would like to hear your advice. And so she wasn't one of those parents that get in your business, try to tell you what to do. But sometime I wish she would have did more.
Speaker 2:Needed more mothering, yeah.
Speaker 1:I would have loved what she was thinking or what she felt about something, but she would always be like well, you're grown, you know, you know what to do, yeah, but I want to just hear what you, you know what you think about it, so that was um interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have thoughts before I go into my thoughts um how do you think that has impacted the way you mother? I don't get isn't it funny how things just happen.
Speaker 1:I mean, I really do try not to get in my children's business. I wish they would talk to me more. You know, my kids are very independent. I really would like you know, I would like them to ask me more advice and when they do, I give it to them, you know, but I don't try to interject my you know my advice, what I think they should do, unless y'all come in, y'all ask me, you know, do you?
Speaker 2:think that?
Speaker 1:no, I don't think you interject no, do you think I wait, you know, and I'm all in your business?
Speaker 2:no, yeah, yeah no, not at all yeah no, in fact, I have had to tell you I need mothering, yes, yes. So it's funny that you felt that way about your mom, because I'm like hey, I know you think I'm wise and smart and all of this stuff, but I'm still your kid and sometime.
Speaker 2:I need mothering, um, and so I think it's so funny that you said that I didn't know that one, that you felt that way with grandma.
Speaker 2:I think something happens when a mother really trusts a child, like I feel like you really trust me. Yeah, I feel like you really trust all of us actually, um, but I feel like you really trust me for me, like I feel like you trust Sefa for you, but you trust me for me, like you're like well, alicia got herself she's, I don't have to worry about her. So I think when that happens, sometimes the tendency is to just be like okay, you know, I won't, I won't interject, right, I don't want to be checking on them too much, I don't want them to feel like I'm in their business and I think the, I think the onus is on both people, which is why I'm so communicative with you when I need something, because I think one thing that my generation, like millennials, I think one thing that we do wrong with our parents is that we judge but we don't listen you know how it is.
Speaker 1:We listen, but we don't judge.
Speaker 2:I feel like sometimes it's the other way around, like we don't have the conversations to hear from our parents what they're feeling and what they're thinking. So I try to ask a lot of questions when I feel like you and I are not disagreeing, cause we don't really have disagreements but we don't see something the same way.
Speaker 2:I try to ask a lot of questions, I try to listen, but I also share, like this is what I need and this is what I'm feeling, because our parents are not mind readers, right, right. And I think sometimes when you're a child, it's like, well, you should know, you're my mom, you should know, you should know. And somewhere around 25, I realized, oh, my parents have no clue, neither one of them. They don't know who I am anymore. They don't know how to parent a 25 year old, a 30 year old. They have no clue.
Speaker 2:And I have no clue because one I've never been this age and I've never parented anybody, let alone an adult. So, to be fair to them, I have to tell them what I'm feeling, and it led to me having some really tough conversations with dad and some tough conversations with you, and I think that for me it's been, it's been very healing, but I think that, you know, at the end of our lives we won't have to say, well, I wish this or that because we say the things you know the conversations are very, very needed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, growing up you you were very guarded, and I don't I I really don't know if that's what you were, but and I shared that I came with you plenty of times you know guarded y'all, which you know, I was very much want to be in my kids life, you know.
Speaker 1:So y'all come home from school I always say you know how was school? And most of the time with Sephora, I didn't even have to ask, she came in the house telling me mom, you know, alicia, how was school? It was school. And most of the time with Sephora, I didn't even have to ask. She came in the house telling me mom, you know, alicia, how was school? It was school, mom. Well, what did you do? It was school Like. You would not elaborate, you would not. So it you know. I learned how to read and think. Parents should really understand every child is different and you have to get to learn that child you can't even grown up. Teachers would say to me you know well, why is an Alicia more like Sephora? Because I had most of the same teachers.
Speaker 2:My sister and I went to the same school from K through eight. Yes, and I was two years, three years ahead of me, yeah.
Speaker 1:It really frustrated me because Alicia is not Sephra, so you can't expect Alicia to do what Sephra do. So the one thing that I really always did was try to have relationships or know where my kids was. I think that's just important in life. Even as a supervisor, I had a staff of 15 and I really was important that I knew each person's strength and their weaknesses, because then I knew what I can ask them to do, what I cannot ask them to do. And that's how I felt like with my kids growing up.
Speaker 1:Now it was times me and you would have amazing conversations, most of the time in the car. I would pick up from the train station in Brooklyn and and we would sit in the car, sometimes two hours, and I used to soak those things up. So I learned how to accept when Alicia came in and just said, Mom, I was school and leave that alone, Because I knew eventually I would get that time with her and those times were so memorable and I'm so grateful for them. And we still get those times now. So I learned how to just really accept those times.
Speaker 1:You know, me and Sefer Sefer's my oldest we talk every day. I don't talk to Lisha or Jari every day, but me and Sefer talk every day. It's just you got. You have different relationships with your kids in different ways, but you got to know where they're at and you got to accept where they're at. Now also, I learned as a parent you have to grow. When they grow, yeah Boy, oh boy, and that's when you talk about being 25. I had to really learn because we get stuck on three and four. We really get stuck there, you know, and they 10 and 11 and we still trying to parent them.
Speaker 2:I could imagine that because even with, like, my little cousin Aiden, right, he's 15. If you've known me for the last 10 or 15 years, you know Aiden because I used to have him all the time. Sometimes when I look at him I'm like he's not five, he's not. You can't be like hugging him and want him to sit on you like he's a big kid, he's 15, you know he's like that's not even my child so I could imagine how it feels with your child yeah.
Speaker 1:So you have to move along and that's what I tell people me being an educator and mainly with pre-K. So four and five. So I had a lot of conversation with parents to you know, you have to move. When they move, they're not going to always be four and five. Soon they're going to be six and seven. What are you going to do? Still be treating them like they're four? And that, I think, is the biggest thing as parents we need to really understand because it really helps the relationship.
Speaker 1:And it took me a minute, you know, to get there and to understand that that you know what you got to move. When your kids move, you know they're not three, no more, they're 10. Now what is a 10 year old child needs? What do a 15 year old child need? You know, and I feel like, growing up, y'all had a lot of freedom, you know, as far as you know, getting to do things, and one of that is because the way y'all grew up, y'all grew up in church. So I was very confident and felt okay, you know, letting y'all do certain things, cause I felt like you raised us.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I feel like y'all had morals and you know y'all would choose the right thing. Now, I'm pretty sure a lot Sometimes y'all didn't, we just. Sometimes I didn't, I did great.
Speaker 2:I was a great child. I don't know what you're talking about. I was fantastic, truly.
Speaker 1:But I really, really trust my children. I really trusted them.
Speaker 2:It's so funny. I tell people all the time. I tell people all the time how much you trusted us and because of that I never had to lie about things, like I never cut school in my life because I didn't have to. Right, if I woke up and I told my mother ma, I ain't finished my paper, I don't want to go to school. Ma I didn't, whatever. Whatever, I don't want to go to school, she would say you going to school tomorrow, so figure it out. And it didn't happen. Often it didn't even happen once a quarter, but maybe once a year. I would be like ma, I just whatever, like I'm not feeling it today. Now the people will call it you're giving your child a mental health day.
Speaker 2:That wasn't the language back then, right, but I would get, especially in high school, I would get get very overwhelmed. I would have panic attacks. My high school was amazing, but it was very academically like the pace of academics. I was not used to that. So when I got to high school and I went to high school in Harlem, I lived in Brooklyn. I used to get up before my mother wake her up to tell her I was leaving. I played basketball. It was intense. It was a very intense time. We traveled, we went to other countries, but it was amazing. I would send my if my high school still existed in the way that it does, that it was when I was there I would send my kid there. It was great, but it was intense, and so there would be times where I have to tell my mom I need a moment, you know. You know I didn't have the language, but she trusted me enough to say okay, you can stay home now, you're going to school tomorrow, we're not going to make this a thing, okay, but finish the paper or whatever. You know, I mean, and I think you also trusted that we would push through. I wasn't the type of child I'm sick for four and five days oh my cramps. I wasn't that type of kid, you know. I mean I would go to school, go to basketball practice, then meet you at church back in Brooklyn. We was that kind of family. So, you know, when we said we needed a moment, you trusted us.
Speaker 2:So if something happened at school, especially like in middle school for me, you know my mother would be like she didn't say that, she didn't do that. I know my child and same thing with my dad High school things would happen. He'd be like my daughter didn't say that. You know what I mean and I think you really did. I don't feel I tell people all the time. I don't feel like I grew up on a leash. It was very much. You know now. If you did not do what you were supposed to do, there was consequences, but you got the opportunity. It wasn't like guilty until proven innocent, it was very much. I trust you, I believe in you, I believe you're going to do the right thing and then, if you don't, then we got to deal with that, which is something I would want to imitate. Let me tell you something else I would want to imitate. So this is what I talk to my husband about all the time. My mother was so much fun growing up like fun, fun, fun. My friends talk about this, my cousins talk about this. My house was a fun house.
Speaker 2:I don't ever remember and I've asked my siblings and they agree you being annoyed by us, like I don't have any memories of like us busting in the room and be like get out of my room or don't eat my so-and-so, like I just I don't have any memories. I'm not saying it never happened, but I have no memories of you like not wanting to be bothered, like I see women with their kids, sometimes especially single moms, which this is not judgment, because I couldn't imagine but even moms with husbands and their kids go. What do you want? Like, if they interrupt them while they're talking, it's like go sit down. I have no memory.
Speaker 2:I'm like my mother never treated me like that. Like if I interrupted you, you would be like hey, you need to say excuse me. Yeah, but it wasn't like uh, you're getting on my nerves. I have zero memories of you ever treating us like that. I don't think I have that inside of me. That's's a part that scares me, but I feel like I'm very easily annoyed. I feel like I want you to be quiet. Like you know, kids are loud, they're noisy, they jump on. You know, and I know we were kids. We were kids in the 90s too, so we definitely we didn't have social media and we were bothering you, I'm sure. How did you manage to not make us feel like we were bothering?
Speaker 1:you. I got on a shirt that said bless mom. I was a blessed mom and I know not because y'all are my kids, but y'all are just good. Yeah, you know, y'all were good kids.
Speaker 1:But it was we had to be annoying at some point and and because I love being a mom, you know, and I was fun then. I don't think I'm all that much fun now. I think years of being a pre-k teacher and years of right now I'm just like quiet, at peace. I'm very quiet, I'm very to myself. But I really wanted my kids to enjoy their life and to enjoy. So we had our house was always people there always people there and it was.
Speaker 1:it was fun, you know, and because, like my mom, I did not have a lot, so I couldn't give my kids a lot of material things, so I felt that I needed to give them an environment that made them happy. I didn't really believe in letting them go trick-or-treating and all that so I would have a big party at home, you know, for them. I tried to make everything fun and everything memorable. So I was never really frustrated with y'all in that way and my kids were very respectful. The one thing I taught them even you know suffering a little bit is being always told you have two strikes against you. You're a woman and you're black. So those are two strikes right there, and I really try to teach them to learn how to respect themselves, because if you respect yourself, you ain't gonna allow nobody else to disrespect you. So with that they respected me. Now Alicia was a little. I think Sefa was a little more scared of me than Alicia growing up.
Speaker 1:I was a little more scared of my parents than my older sister, that my older sister wasn't scared of nothing but me. I wanted to please everybody. Yeah, I think that's Sephra. I think Sephra.
Speaker 2:I don't know if she wanted to please. I don't know if she was scared, but she wanted to please you, I think.
Speaker 1:Sephra wanted to please me a little more than Alicia, so I was more of the Sephra and Alicia was more of my sister, bridget, okay, where she, like you know, this is what I'm doing and that's it, you know. But they respected me and that's the thing that made me not be frustrated with them. Now, if I had some little disrespectful think they knew everything, children, I might have been a little more frustrated, but they were very even my son loved him to death Very respectful growing up.
Speaker 1:Now he was the little. As he got older he was the one that was a little, not so much as respectful as a girl.
Speaker 2:Well, I had some moments too.
Speaker 1:You know, everybody has their moments, but again it was easy to reel them back in. I had a look Like I didn't even have to say something sometime. I just had the look like Are you?
Speaker 2:crazy. Okay, have you lost your mind?
Speaker 1:You know. So I carried that on into my classroom. I had that look, if my babies do something, I look at them and they be like, okay, ms Beverly is not playing. So I think that that was healthy for us. You know, my kids respect me, they respect my mom, they respect their auntie, respect authority in general, they respect adults and they knew that that was expected.
Speaker 1:So I think that that's why I'm pretty sure there's times when I was more maybe frustrated with something they did in school. I was going to say we got in trouble, it got in trouble, you know you would be disappointed. Yeah, but it still was not like just get out of here, go somewhere, get out of my face.
Speaker 2:It was never that, yeah maybe, as in our teens, if we did something crazy maybe, but but again that doesn't stand out in my makeup.
Speaker 2:I'm sure it happened once or twice, but it doesn't stand out in my memory and I think some of it too in terms of the fun. You know you talk about how you're not that fun now or this or that or whatever. I just think some people have a skill for younger children. You know, like I feel like I have a skill for older children. Some people just have a skill for younger children and I think everything that I do, if God gives me children when they're young, will be a pure imitation of you. It's not in me. I don't like to get on the floor and play Like a pure imitation of you. It's not in me. I don't like to get on the floor and play Like, even when I go see my friend's kids and they be like, oh, he wants to do a puzzle with you. I'm like, okay, I mean auntie Lisha's gonna do it with you, but I really would rather be sitting on the couch talking to your parents, it's not my thing.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Even my nep come in my room and play with me.
Speaker 2:I'm like you know, I do it because that's my nephew and I love him. But that's also different for me, because one thing I say is I don't have an example of adults like playing with kids. Like you, you created a fun environment for us to play with each other. You wasn't down on the floor with us playing with like these kids want adults to play with them. I'm like when did that start like, yeah, we grew up, we played with other kids, you know all we played by ourselves adults was not on the floor playing with us.
Speaker 2:So I have that's very difficult for me to conceptualize, but I know that that's the way things are now. So if I have children, especially if I don't have multiples, then you know I will have to do that with them. And so I feel like you know you just have a gift for young children, even now, how you are with, you know, with the grandkids, like you have a gift for teaching young children, for molding young minds, and you have a level of patience with younger children that I think is so special. I actually see it in my husband. He's so good with my nephews, with young kids, with teaching them, with helping them figure stuff out, and I'm just like it's right there. Just get it and you're going to have to help me for real because I don't know, but I do feel like I have.
Speaker 1:I think it would just come it comes. Well, what if it doesn't? I'm scared. It's come, it comes, but what if it doesn't? I'm scared. Yeah, but then you have your husband.
Speaker 2:He got it. As long as somebody have it, you know Well, they'll have a grandma.
Speaker 1:You know, even with my grandkids, I mean he'll get the phone and FaceTime and we go in his room and we build together and we play together. I really enjoy what I did.
Speaker 2:Them babies love their grandma. I love young kids. I'm just.
Speaker 1:I'm just too old for them now. Like kids are different, like they different. So, um, I retired from being a teacher, but I still so much love teaching, nurturing, I love to see kids learn. You know, for for a little while, well, back in New York, I only operated my own licensed daycare. But here, when I retired for a little while, well, back in New York, I owned and operated my own licensed daycare. But here, when I retired for a year, I had a daycare and I just really enjoy what I do.
Speaker 1:I enjoy playing with them, I enjoy teaching them, I like to see kids go from one thing to another and I think that's why I really love the young kids. You like development, I like to see them develop, you know. So I like when a child come in my class at four and can't write his name, and then two, a month later, a couple of weeks, he's writing his name. You know that's development, that's growth, and then you feel like you know what you're doing is not in vain. Yeah, you know, and that's rewarding seeing the children grow and see them develop. So that's why I like the younger ones.
Speaker 2:So you've been known as Teacher Beverly, or Miss. Beverly to children who are now in their mid-20s. Some of them follow me on Instagram.
Speaker 1:I'm like I held you as a baby in my mother's daycare.
Speaker 2:What does it feel like to have mothered, in some ways, so many children, so many children, classes and classes of children since the 90s, early 2000s. How does that feel when you see them?
Speaker 1:when you I too see some of them on on and Instagram, I'm just blown away, you know, and I'd be like, wow, you was like a baby. I mean because when I had my daycare, my own daycare in New York, I was taking them at what? Six weeks old, three months old, you know. So some of them I had from little little babies, and it feels great. You know, even I've been down here what this year will be, 17 years. And just yesterday, you know, it was a little boy in my class that I loved. His name was James and his mother posted a picture that he was 17. Handsome as all outdoors, and that little boy used to love me and I used to love him.
Speaker 1:And just to see, you know that you had me, just knowing that you played even a little part, yes, in helping this child grow, you know, being a part of their development, being a part of their lives. Because I really believe even me, I remember kindergarten, me too, you know and I just really believe that that's another reason why I like teaching and young, because when you could put something in them, that's gonna last and they're gonna remember. You know that that's amazing to me, you know. So when I look back and the thing is a lot of the parents of the kids I had like 17 years ago. I'm friends with them on Facebook, so I get to see the pictures, I get to talk with the parents, you know. So it's just really, really rewarding to have that gift to be part of their lives.
Speaker 1:You know my, you know, when I did my master's and I had to, you know, have a title for my final paper, my title was to take a village, because I think people think that you know the teachers and some people feel like the teachers are supposed to teach, you know, supposed to be the main thing of teaching their child, but it's not. It takes the parents, the teachers in the community. It takes a village for your kids to to really be a great part of society. Yeah, you know. So it really does take a village. I'm just a part of that village, yeah, you know, yeah.
Speaker 2:You raised us to be God fearing, to be spiritual, to read our Bibles, to know our Bibles for ourselves, Right To not let anybody, including you, you should say even if I tell you something different, you need to go in your own Bible and find it. I remember you telling me that at a very young age I probably was like eight. I'm like OK.
Speaker 1:Let's show it's very wise at eight Believe me, she got it. Let's show it's very wise that eight Believe me she got it.
Speaker 2:What advice would you give parents in this generation to encourage them when they're trying to raise their children to be spiritual, to know God, to love God, and in a generation where there's so much distraction? You know we didn't have social media. I tell people all the time I was grown. By the time I got on social media I was 18, grown, you know. By the time I got on social media, you know the world was very different. A lot of children don't go to church. A lot of kids, you know, when we were growing up, whether it was a good church, bad church, kids were being raised in a thing anymore. A lot of children don't go to church. A lot of children are finding God through friends, you know, and not so much through their parents who go to church, or a praying grandmother or whatever the case may be. And I know you didn't even grow up going to church consistently. So what would you tell a parent you know who's trying to raise their children?
Speaker 1:that way. Well, I would tell them first of all, if you say you're a Christian, be a Christian. You know, live that life. Let your kids see that you know, because you can't. I mean, I think things have so wooded down now and so you know. Well, this is life, let them find out for themselves and stuff like that. But you first have to have convictions about you being a Christian. You can't say your kids can't see a double standard. You know they can't see you saying you, because our home is our first ministry, your children are your first ministry, you know.
Speaker 1:So if you're going to say that you're a Christian, then be one. You know. Really, let them see that. Let them see you deal with things on a spiritual level. Let them see, and even when you mess up, let them see you take ownership of that mess up. You know you did a great job, yeah. Let them see you read your Bible. Let them see you pray, you know. Let them see that God is first in your life.
Speaker 1:First of all, that's the first thing I think that parents should do. If you say you're a Christian and then you got to encourage your kids, you know, let them, yeah, give them that leeway, but always encourage them that what's best. You know. Yeah, you want to hang out with Susie. Hang out with Susie, but if Susie is doing what we don't do, you need to think about if you should be with Susie. You need to hang out with Susie, but you need to help Susie do what you do. It Okay If you're doing the right thing.
Speaker 1:So I don't knock nothing and I don't regret nothing that I did with my kids when they were little. I don't regret nothing that I did with my kids when they were little. I don't regret what I've learned, how I've learned it, how I applied it. I don't regret it. You know, we had our devotionals, we had our prayer time and as a result of it, and I've been a Christian this year be 34 years and I don't regret. You know some people might have some regrets. I don't, because I see the fruit of it. I have children that love God and not play, play, love God, that really love God, you know. And I have children that are living their lives, that people can see it in their life. My son is an amazing father?
Speaker 2:Yes, he is.
Speaker 1:An amazing father and husband and he loves his wife and that's because of his relationship with the Most High. He loves his family. He's a hard worker. These are things that I felt that was instilled in him. You know you love ministry. I do sometimes.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I don't love me back, but I do, but she do.
Speaker 1:Lisha loves ministry and God has blessed you, you know, to be able to, you know, be in that role. Yes, you know Sephra loves to sing for God, she loves to use her gifts for God and she loves to serve. So I don't have no complaints of. You know how my kids are and I thank God that you know I learned who he really was when y'all was a very young age. Sometime it's harder, because parents come into the truth when their kids are teens yeah, so it's trying to change a whole.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're trying to was blessed. You. You were like three years old, you know, jared was six months old, sepra was like seven. So that was to me a blessing because they were young and I was able to pour into them you know, and the people around them were able to pour into them. They had some great people in their life, the great teens workers that they had I don't regret, who was in my children's lives at all because I feel like it really took a village and that village really came in for me.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. Yeah, I have no regrets either. I think the thing I would change I think you only know what you know when you know it, and I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you have to let your children see you change and go through things, because I think you only know what you know when you know it. And I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you have to let your children see you change and go through things. I think we've unlearned things together about our relationship with God and about everything. I think it's really important to teach your children, and you did this, you did this. I didn't realize you were doing it, but you did do this To teach your children who God is, irrespective of a church or other people. And I think that that's you got to be careful as a parent when you're, when you're raising your children in church, because you're not the only one giving the messages. So, although my mom was very adamant about this is about God. This is about God. This is about God because I was around so many other people and I have always loved ministry, at some point it became about people for me. I've had to battle that you know through my, and she's helped me battle that, and so that's something I would drum into my children, because even if you're saying it, if other people are saying, or teaching or culture is just other ways, they could just see it differently. But I think it's. It's so funny.
Speaker 2:People always talk about how, although I've been in ministry since I was very young, and although I was raised in church, they're like you're so like normal, like down to earth. I'm like that's my mother. She never sheltered us from like, oh, you can only hang out with Christians or you can only hang like she was, like you need to be like you said, if you're gonna hang out with Susie, you need to let suzy need to be doing what you're doing. You know, and I think as I got older, especially in my teen years, I became a christian. At 14 all my friends knew lish, don't curse, lish is not doing that, lish is not going there, she's just not doing it. You know what I mean and I was not perfect, but my convictions were my convictions and it was very. It has been very telling as I age to see how differently I was raised than other people, because when you're a kid you think oh, everybody's parents does this Everybody da, da, da, and it's like oh no, not everybody, and so I'm very grateful for that.
Speaker 2:As we wind down, I'm going to take a selfish moment and ask you what's your favorite thing about being my mom? I know we have. I have other siblings and I love them and they can invite you on their own podcast when they get one. But since this is my podcast, you can talk about what you love about being a mom. But what do you love about being my mom? I love your husband. That's crazy.
Speaker 1:Wow, I love my daughter-in-law too. My, my daughter-in-law, my son-in-law is like my children. I love them better than no. They but um, y'all see what I have to deal with being your mom, my therapist. What I love about being your mom, I I love the intimate times with you.
Speaker 1:You know I always loved you, was always independent. You know, I mean, when we got into church, lisha was three years old and she was walking around the church asking for numbers, but not numbers of her peers. She was going to the evangelists and the ministry leaders and she was like, could I get your number? So I always liked the independent and the wisdom. You are one wise woman. I love sitting down with you and just listening to you. She has helped me more than she even knows. I might not even let her know.
Speaker 1:Some of the things she said was like I walked away like, wow, okay, very, very wise. You know you have wisdom way beyond your years. So that's the thing that I'm I about you and you always had it, even from young. You know you're just a very wise. Always say you you have wisdom, streak with wisdom. You know streak knowledge. You just was everything. Sephora is just educated like she. Academically is so smart, like she was amazingly smart, still is, but lisha was street smart, academic smart. She just was, you know, all around wise and still is a very, very wise woman. So that's what I love about being your mom that I could come to you, you know, and not even come to you, just be talking to you and walk away like, wow, I've learned something you know, so I love that about you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thank you and my husband. I you know, so I love that about you. Thank you, thank you and my husband.
Speaker 1:And I love my husband.
Speaker 2:We like to ask a question here to end off our show, and the question is in the grand scheme of things, what do you want your legacy to be?
Speaker 1:grand scheme of things, what do you want your legacy to be? Well being that this is. You know about being a mom. I just want my legacy to be that I was a great mom. You know that I was a mom to be imitated. I was a mom that was there for my children. You know I want them to be able to know that their mom really truly loved them. So my legacy is to just really know that I was a great mom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, you did that already, so your legacy is intact. You are indeed a great mom, you know, a mom worthy of praise, a mom worthy of imitation. Worthy of praise, a mom worthy of imitation. You know, one of the things that me and my sister definitely talk about a lot is we appreciate that we can talk to you. You know, whether it's something that a hard conversation or just shooting the breeze right, you know, there's some people who just feel like they can't talk to their mom because it's going to be a big blow up if I tell you how.
Speaker 2:I feel or you're not going to understand me. And again, every conversation is not perfect, right, but we always come back to center and say, okay, I'm sorry. Or right, you know I messed up or how can I do this better or whatever, and I just appreciate that even as a mother of adults which is, I know, it's a little bit of a struggle for you you really do prioritize being a resource for us. You want us to know that we can come to you.
Speaker 2:You want us to know that you love us, that you care, that you're proud. I've never had to ask either of my parents, but specifically you, mom. You, mom, you know, are you proud of me like you know? Do you love me like I've never questioned that, ever in my life, and that is a gift. I understand that. That is a gift. What I love about opportunities like this one is that in 10, 15, 20, 30, 40 years, you know, your grandchildren's children will be able to watch this interview.
Speaker 1:Amen, I love that.
Speaker 2:And hear your thoughts and your feelings. I love that and what we wouldn't give right to have grandma on a video, or your grandma Right.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:It's really legacy building and it really will give. They'll be able to take the advice that you gave in this episode and apply it to how they mother yeah and so I want you to know that your gifts, your words, your experiences are so special, and every good thing that you think about me comes from the way that you raised me.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's so sweet.
Speaker 2:I really love and appreciate you, and happy birthday, thank you, thank you, thank you, all right.
Speaker 2:That has been another episode of. I'll Just Let Myself In With your Girlish Speaks. Thanks so much for listening. And if you're here with us on Holy Culture Radio Channel 140 on Sirius XM, thanks for checking us out. If you're on YouTube checking us out or any of your podcasting apps, we appreciate the listen. Please share, like, give us a comment, go ahead and give us a review, tell us what you're loving about the podcast and if you want to connect with us, email us at speakers at LishSpeakscom. That's S-P-E-A-K-R-S. At LishSpe speakscom. That's s-p-e-a-k-r-s. At list speakscom. We'd love to hear from you. We'll be back with another episode, same time, same place, next week. Can't wait to see you there.
Speaker 1:Peace I'm gonna have a great day. Bye.