Speaker 1: 0:00

It's important that you have different types of partners and different types of relationships, because sometimes one will not be able to feed you what the other can and you'll start to suck one relationship dry because you are expecting that relationship to do everything for you, when no one relationship is meant to do everything for you and yes, this is not just romantic, this is business. When you expect your job and your coworkers to also be your therapist and your social life and your financial help and plan, that's very unhealthy. That's very unhealthy. What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of. I'll Just Let Myself In With your Girlish Speaks. Listen, this week we're going to be talking about something that is ever present in my life, which is what I try to do generally. I try to keep these episode topics real, relevant, based on what I'm actually learning and experiencing in my life, and so this week we're going to be talking about partnership. The name of this episode is Into Partnership, but you guys know how we do If you're not new here. We have one of the best segments in podcast and it's called what I'm Stepping In, where we talk about what sneakers I'm wearing this week, and y'all know the drill. If you like them, we're gonna tell you to go get you some.

Speaker 1: 1:48

This week I'm stepping in a pair of South Beach LeBron 9s. This is an old school sneaker head shoe. Okay, this, this was before everybody was a sneaker head. Uh, you were really in the shoes. You had these shoes. I was lucky enough to get a pair, maybe two years after they actually came out. I think they came out in 2012. I've had these shoes for a long time. You can probably see that based on the close-up. But yeah, I love this shoe. I love, first of all, pink is one of my favorite colors. It's just an incredible shoe. It reminds me of a nostalgic time in sneakers where you really had to care. You really had to care about sneakers to want certain shoes. But yeah, I kept them in pretty good condition. They're doing all right. I don't wear them very often, but these are my South Beach LeBron 9s and y'all know the drill If you like them, go get yourself, all right.

Speaker 1: 2:43

So this episode, as I said, is entitled Into Partnership and it's inspired by my life. My husband and I are co-founders of Blame Media and that's where we do our podcast. That's where we create our content. That's how we come up with what we want to be in the world of entertainment and of media, and being married and being Christians, there are a lot of standards that we have to govern how we treat each other, how we partner, and I realized that the truth is, if you're partnering with anyone, whether it be a spouse, a friend, a business partner, a colleague there are just certain things that I find very important in that relationship, in that partnership. The scripture that I love, right, and it's no, shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who reads the Bible, but in case you don't which welcome, you know what I mean Welcome, we're going to do a lot of that up in here.

Speaker 1: 3:49

Uh, the scripture that really encourages me with this topic is Ecclesiastes four, uh, and verse nine. It says two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up, but pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken, and so this scripture really defines, ref, refines my whole view of partnership constantly, because I have to remember that it is truly a privilege to be in partnership. It's a privilege to be in partnership with my spouse, but it's a privilege to be in partnership with the many people that I work with, that I learn from, that I collaborate with and that I will, god willing, in the future. And so there are a couple of things that are really, really important to me and I really tried to narrow this down to like. Here are the top three things about partnership. I couldn't do it. There was too much, too much too much information, too many gems and things that I've learned over the last couple of years about partnership, even things that when I really started to write out my notes and think through what has worked for me in the past and what hasn't worked for me in the past, it was just so much to share. So buckle up.

Speaker 1: 5:22

If you are in partnership with someone in any way, shape or form, be it business, relational, spiritual I believe that this podcast is going to help you. First off, you have to understand that partners are important. I think this society that we live in, I think social media yeah, we just live in a time where you can really fool yourself into thinking you don't need partnership, like you can really fool yourself into thinking you don't need friends. You can really fool yourself into thinking you know you can cut everybody off as soon as they don't do something that you like. You can fool yourself into believing that partnership is not important and that partners are not important. And that partners are not important and one of the things that I think the enemy is so crafty at, especially in this generation. But you know, today and yesterday are the same, so this is nothing new.

Speaker 1: 6:15

It's convincing us that we don't need people because the word says we're two or more gathered, right. So if the word says we're two or more gathered there I am, you know, god says then of course the enemy would try to get us to not be gathered. And the cool thing about marriage which is why the devil hates marriage is there is a built in two or more, right, we're two or more gathered. We're two or more, come into agreement. You have a built in two or more gather where two or more come into agreement. You have a built-in two or more with you and your partner. So of course he's not going to want you to be on the same page. He's not going to want you to partner, and so my conviction is that I'm not going to aid the enemy right, he's already going to try and jack that up. I'm not going to be, you know, an accomplice. I'm going to do what I got to do to make sure that my partnerships are intact, and even with friendships. You know it is so important.

Speaker 1: 7:10

I talk about this a lot, so if you're a frequent listener, you already know how I feel. But if you're new here, I talk a lot about friendship because I know that friendship has saved me so many times. Friendship has pulled me out of of dark places so many times and friendships have been my accountability so many times. And so even in marriage, you know some, some people get married, and I'm not knocking nobody If your spouse is your only friend, and you know there's a lot of jokes about that on the internet, like it's usually a joke with wives, because men keep their friends. That's another topic for another day.

Speaker 1: 7:50

But a lot of times women, when we get in relationships, we start abandoning friendships and we don't always see that those friendships, although they cannot take precedence over your spouse, are unique and needed, are unique and needed. Um, there are things that women understand about women, that men, I don't care how much he loves you, I don't care how much he honors you, I don't care he will never get it. There are things that men don't have the capacity for that women do. You know, I laugh all the time. One of my best friends, um, you know she will call me when something's going on with her, her, her, her boyfriend and I'll talk to her. Something's going on with me and my husband and we'll laugh because we're like, as much as they love us, they would not sit through an hour of what we're talking Like. I can talk to my best friend about something ad nauseam, and I can call her every day with the same situation and she will listen, you know, and my husband would listen, but at some point he'd be like, ok, now, baby, now what are we going to do? You know, and my friend does the same, but it's different. It's just different. Women are just different.

Speaker 1: 9:01

We get each other differently and so you cannot despise partnership and relationships. And it's important that you have different types of partners and different types of relationships, because sometimes one will not be able to feed you what the other can and you'll start to suck one relationship dry because you are expecting that relationship to do everything for you, when no one relationship is meant to do everything for you. And yes, this is not just romantic, this is business. When you expect your job and your coworkers to also be your therapist and your social life and your financial help and plan, that's very unhealthy. That's very unhealthy Like we cannot expect to get everything from one place. And so partners and partnership is very important.

Speaker 1: 10:00

You know one of the things that I think about because you know when let me backtrack when I was dating my husband, he knew that I was a creative person. He knew that I was into all sorts of every facet of the arts. I'm into all of it. Our first date was at a museum, like I'm into it. When we first started talking, I had just put out an EP. So he knew I was. You know I was a musician and I was a rapper and I was into that and he's heard me speak publicly, so he kind of knew you know what I was about.

Speaker 1: 10:38

But it's very different to know that someone is into something and to care about what they are into, and I'll never forget, you know, when I really knew that my husband was like the one, the one like he could really be with me in that part of me. Because, let's be very clear, some people are married and if their spouse is into something they're not into, they're like, that's your thing, I don't care nothing about it, right, and that might work for, like I don't know, a game or clothes or something, but something that is deeply embedded into your personality. The person can't just not care about it. So we'll get get get into that later. But when I really knew, like my husband can, he could really be the one he can hang with every facet of me, was Valentine's Day, our first Valentine's Day together.

Speaker 1: 11:32

We were long distance, so he was still living in New York and I was living in Atlanta and I flew to New York for Valentine's Day and we both wanted to make Valentine's Day very special. You know it was my first Valentine's Day and we both wanted to make Valentine's Day very special. You know it was my first Valentine's Day in a relationship in years, and his as well, and so we both wanted to make Valentine's Day very special. To this day, we both put on for every holiday. It's not like, oh well, I don't really have to do nothing for him and he don't really have to do nothing for me, or we don't have to do gifts. No, we go all out. Christmas, birthdays, valentine's Day we go all out.

Speaker 1: 12:14

So Valentine's Day comes along and he took me to see the Lion King. I had never seen the Lion King on Broadway and I'm a big Broadway person, but I had just never seen the lion king. And so this is, uh, right after covid, this is 2022, february 2022. Um, so this is when broadway. You know, my first time back to broadway, being that I had lived in atlanta at the time. So you know, we go see the lion king and you know, you know how it goes.

Speaker 1: 12:44

Right, I start bawling, and I'm not talking about like a little tear, I'm like crying, right, because the arts make me cry. I cry at concerts, I cry, I cry. These things feel otherworldly to me, they feel spiritual to me, you know so, when the animals are coming down, it's not just oh, this is nice, I feel something, and it evokes an emotion. And my husband, my boyfriend at the time, was like he was shocked. He was shocked, but he was so enamored by it. Shocked, he was shocked, but he was so enamored by it. Like when we left the theater he was like baby, I love how connected you are to the. Or like I love that about you, I love that you feel things so deeply, like I'm so fascinated by you. He tells me that to this day I'm so fascinated by you. You're just a fascinating person and I knew then he could hang.

Speaker 1: 13:46

Because here's the thing when it comes to partners, especially a partner in business or projects, a passion project, they cannot think what moves. You is stupid. Like there's some people and I've dated people in the past would have been like yo, why are you crying? Like yo, you just be doing too much. Like you crying it is not that serious like or would have laughed at me for crying, but he gets it.

Speaker 1: 14:10

We went to a Stevie Wonder concert recently. Soon as Stevie opened his mouth, I'm I'm crying. I can't even help it. I can't help it. This is Stevie Wonder. You know Stevie has been singing since the 60s. We don't know how much longer we have Stevie. I'm going to see Stevie. He takes me to see Stevie. As soon as Stevie opened his mouth, I just start crying and he's just looking at me smiling. He's even getting a little emotional just from me getting emotional and that makes me feel so safe. So when I have some grand idea, some big thing, and I'm passionate about something, I'm not afraid to bring it to him, because I know he's not gonna look at me like I'm crazy, even though he would not define himself as a creative person.

Speaker 1: 14:57

If you are single and you are creative, you are an influencer, you are an actor, you're a writer, you're a an actor, you're a writer, you're a singer, you're a rapper. You need to be with someone who likes you and who is fascinated by you. Now, they don't have to be like you, because that's a thing we fall into. Oh, this person has to be like me to have to like what I like, they have to like to go where I have to. No, they just have to like you, really like who you are. Right, they have to be enamored by that part of you. They can't think it's stupid or inferior.

Speaker 1: 15:38

You know, my husband is a numbers guy, he's a tech guy, he's a science guy. He's a science guy, right. He could easily be like oh my gosh, you and these museums. We got another museum. Oh my gosh, you and these plays. You know he never went to a Broadway play before we dated. You know what I mean. He wasn't frequent in museums and exhibits, but because he is enamored by that part of me, he's interested. Right, and we don't do every single thing together because I like to experience some things alone. Right, I need to have my moments, but it's never like a push to have him come with me and vice versa for the things that he loves and likes.

Speaker 1: 16:14

You know, it's really important that when you are partnering with someone, be it romantically or in business, you have a respect for the things each other cares about. I respect the things my husband cares about, even if I don't understand them, even if I can't talk the talk, even if I don't know the jargon, I be trying to. I'm like okay, so now explain that to me. Explain to me like I'm five, okay, got it. It's important to me that he knows that I don't think what he values is below what I value. So that is why we are able to partner in business together.

Speaker 1: 16:51

And now I'm going to focus a little bit more on partnering in business. You know, as you think about partnership with someone, especially in the realm of business, ask yourself what is the most important thing to you? You know, I had to ask myself what is the most important thing to me in partnership. And for me, um, although a lot of things are important, it is work ethic. I cannot be in partnership with anyone who will not work as hard as or harder than me. It's actually one of the reasons that I don't have a co-host on this podcast. Not so much that I just could not find anybody who works as hard as me like I'm the hardest working person in the world. No, but it would have been work for me to find someone that I know, that I trust, that I know was going to show up, that I know was going to put in the same amount of effort, time and money as me. That's going to show up personality wise, although they didn't have to be just like me, but with the same passion as me. When I thought about that, I said, yeah, you know what. Let's do this by ourselves, at least on screen. I have lots of help behind the scenes, but, you know, on screen it was important, you know, that I show up the way in this podcast, the way that I wanted to. So I don't have a co-host. For that reason, people have asked me like how do you do this all on your own. It's a lot to carry a whole show on your own. I would rather that, and that's a lesson.

Speaker 1: 18:22

Sometimes we partner with people I'm trying to keep it business, but, child, the relationship business thing just flippity flop. Sometimes we partner with people just so that we won't be alone and they are actually holding us back. Because what's happening is you're doing the work for both people and it would just be easier if you were there, being able to do what you want how you want. Because guess what happens when you have a co-host or a partner? Now you got to run things by them. Now you got to have meetings. Now you have to agree on things, and if you're the harder working person in that relationship, you are getting permission from meeting with talking to a person who is not putting in that relationship. You are getting permission from meeting with talking to a person who is not putting in the work that you're putting in. So now you're having to do double the work by having to talk about it and still do it, as opposed to if it was just you, you could do the things you want to do. And so it's important that if you're going to partner with somebody you partner with, somebody who will work just as hard as you or harder.

Speaker 1: 19:25

It's important to have a partner whose strengths are your weaknesses, and vice versa, right? A lot of times when people are trying to partner, the struggle is because they have the same strengths and they have the same weaknesses. Right, you'll get two people together who are both charismatic and fun and, you know, can sell something, but neither one of them are good at the finances, so the finances are in shambles, right. Or they may be good at the finances but they're both terrible at marketing, so the business is right, but no one knows that is happening. They can't get a deal to save their lives. Right? You have to make sure that your partner's strengths are your weaknesses.

Speaker 1: 20:09

You know, in Blame Media, my husband and I have very defined roles, right, and one of the things that really really makes our partnership work is that we have different strengths and weaknesses. His strengths really lend to order right, things being in order, things being done the way they're supposed to be done when we said that we were going to get them done right. My strengths are creativity, being flexible, thinking on my feet, being able to pivot. Both those things are very much needed, because I don't care how much planning and order you have, there are gonna be times where something is not working out. There's gonna be times where something don't look right and you need to change that and this is not working and my ability to be flexible makes that lighter right, while his ability to plan makes me not have to worry so I can come on set good to go, because I know that every possible thing that has been taken, that needs to be taken care of, has been to the best of his ability.

Speaker 1: 21:14

You know my strength, one of my strengths for this particular piece of our media is that I'm an avid researcher. Right, I show up to set. Research is real words on these cards. Right, I sit down. I watch a lot of interviews. I listen to how people ask questions. You know, if you've listened to some of my interviews, a lot of people on my interviews will say no one has asked me that or I haven't spoken about this before, or you know, I'm getting emotional. Every time I get with you, I get emotional. There's a reason for that. Right, I study the greats. I sit down and I watch Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters and Oprah.

Speaker 1: 21:52

I want to know when they ask a question that evokes emotion. Why did it evoke emotion? How did it evoke emotion? I want to know when to not over talk someone, but when to step in because they're having a hard time making their point or they can't find the words. I want to know and I could go on and on about this.

Speaker 1: 22:09

I'll do a I'm actually eventually going to do an episode on how I prepare for podcasts, because a lot of us just be getting on the mic and talking no shade, just saying but I do that. That's a strength of mine. So my husband, as he's behind these mics and when we do hire out and we have other people behind these cameras and microphone, we're not stopping and starting a hundred times when it's time to go edit. It's pretty seamless because when I sit down, I know what the heck I'm doing. I'm not just sitting here trying to make it work and piece it together and talking about whatever I'm doing. I'm not just sitting here trying to make it work in pieces together and talking about whatever I'm actually prepared. Right? These are things that if they are, you know, a strength in one area and a weakness in the other, it can really make something gel together.

Speaker 1: 22:56

You know there are parts of this podcast that I probably way too frequently remind my husband and my manager that only I can do. Don't ask me to do this other stuff, because no one else can do this part for me. Right, I can be a little bit of a diva sometimes, but it's true. There are parts of what my husband does, of what my manager does, that only they can do, and so it is important that each person wants to show up in excellence, because when we start having a feeling for each other, yeah, the job might get done, but it's not going to get done. Well, because that's not my role, right? If I decided, well, I don't want to host the podcast today. So my husband got to get up here and host It'll be a good podcast, but it won't be. I'll just let myself in with Lish Speaks, because he's not Lish Speaks.

Speaker 1: 23:48

If I decided well, he can't do it, I'm just going to throw these cameras on. It'll look all right. It'll look all right. Some of y'all see my content I do for Instagram. Sometimes it's blurry Instagram, sometimes blurry. I just be doing my best, honey, you know.

Speaker 1: 24:06

But because this is what he does, he makes it excellent, and so partnership and understanding strengths and weaknesses and who's supposed to be doing what when, is important. And it also is important to understand, um, who is accountable versus who is responsible, right? So if I am accountable for something getting done, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to be responsible for it getting done, and that's a really important part of partnership and delegation, right, when you're hiring out vendors or you're reaching out to people for help, if I am responsible for preparing for the podcast or preparing for a show, god willing, I have a show one day. Right, I may have a team full of researchers and, right, this is like my dream. Y'all, I can see the room. I'll have a team of people who research topics and we will sit down and we'll talk about it, but at the end of the day, I am going to be responsible for conveying the, the message, to my audience. Right, that is my responsibility. Nobody can do that to me, for me, right, and so it's important to to have those conversations. You know, when you are partnering with someone, okay, what are you responsible for versus what are you accountable for? Because if you're accountable for something, you could get anybody to do it. My husband is accountable for making sure that blame media, you know, puts out this particular podcast, so that means he could hire someone else to do it. But once he decides, hey, I'm going to film and edit, which is where we are now, he has now made himself responsible for what you're seeing, right, and that can go in and out.

Speaker 1: 25:55

Another really important thing about partnership is that seasons change, so being able to communicate with your partner in business and relationship when something needs to shift, when something that we've been doing is no longer working or something that we said we were going to do, we haven't started and it's holding us back, like having these conversations. And that brings me to my next point about communication. You know, a lot of people are together but they're not partners. A lot of people work together but they're not in a partnership. And it shows, because partnership demands communication. It demands you cannot be in partnership with someone and not talk to them, right, like you cannot be in partnership with someone and not consistently communicate about what you need and what they need.

Speaker 1: 26:51

One of the things I love most about how we are running our small little engine that could is that we meet weekly and we talk through the needs you know and we talk through okay, what is what is happening, what is best? You know, most likely, by the time you guys see this, we will have already announced our partnership with Holy Culture Radio, which we are on on Monday nights from 8 to 9 pm Eastern Standard Time, and so make sure you're checking that out. But you know, we had a lot of conversations about that deal, about how to get a deal like that before we had it, about the type of people we would want to partnership partner with, about the type of people that we would do business with and the type of people we wouldn't do business with. Right, like, having these conversations and being on the same page about what we want made it so that when opportunities begin to present themselves, we were ready, right, we were on the same page, we were in agreement, we were in alignment, and because we run this business with the management of my manager, mark, we had to have conversations with him as well about our vision and what we want and what we believe, and I only would have a manager who is aligned with me as well. You know having conversations, and my manager started out as my producer he's still my producer, just in case I ever want to make some music again. But he is my friend, he's my brother, but we communicate, you know, we trust and respect each other, and not just on business stuff. We communicate generally, right?

Speaker 1: 28:39

It's important to me that anybody I do business with is on the same wavelength as me in terms of the things that we are ingesting. So when I send my manager, my friend, my brother, when I send Mark a sermon, he listens to it. When he sends me a sermon, I listen to it. When he sends me a podcast, I listen to it. When I YouTube you know they're talking about, you know, making the most out of this AI product or making the most out of this camera lens I watch it, not 10 days later, not 20 days later, not because I actually respect the person I'm partnering with and I want to make sure that whatever information they believe I need and they're taking the time to take it, I'm taking it. Same thing I send my husband stuff. He watches it almost immediately most of the time, depending on our schedule, but I can honestly say within 48 hours you're usually watching what the other person sent us. We're on the same page, we're communicating, we're being influenced by the same ideas. These things are important in a partnership by the same ideas. These things are important in a partnership.

Speaker 1: 30:05

It's important that you partner with people who think the way that you do on the things that matter right, and for this I mean morally right. They have a moral compass that is the same or very similar to yours. Obviously, you need to think differently in some ways, because that's what makes the business work, but you know, I can never be in business with someone who, just morally, is very different than me. It wouldn't work for me. In fact, I have amazing friends, friends that are smart and talented and witty and even have business savvy, and just great people, amazing people. But out of all my friends, I would only go into business with one of them, and they know who they are. And the reason is because we see the world similarly, we have similar morals, we treat people similarly, we respect each other's time, we value one another Like. There are just things that I know I wouldn't have to deal with, because here's the thing Any business relationship, you're going to bump heads at some point, you're going to disagree, you're going to have issues right, but the type of person that you're dealing with says a lot.

Speaker 1: 31:22

I remember Maya Angelou saying one time in an interview you really want to know someone. See them under pressure, see them when their luggage gets lost, see them when they show up to the hotel and their reservation is not there. Like, people have a way about them of handling things, and for me, that way needs to align with my way in order for me to be in. It doesn't have to be the same, right, it needs to be harmonious, it needs to align, but it doesn't have to be the same, but it can't be the other side of the spectrum. And so for me, it just, it, just it matters that there's a mutual respect, right, there's a reciprocity in relationship. It's not I'm doing a whole lot and this person is doing very little, and that if I don't reach out, I don't hear from them, or if I don't put the business plan together, it won't happen. It would be a mutual, and it's the same way I feel with my husband.

Speaker 1: 32:18

It is important that when you're in business with someone, when you partner with someone, you know they are, they are on the same type of time as you, you know, and that that that leads me to this idea about being able to disagree without being disagreeable, as I said a moment ago. You know, when you're in business with somebody, you're going to have disagreements. There are going to be things where you don't see it the same, you don't feel the same about it, Even though the two of you can have the same morals, the same code, the same convictions. You just are two different people, so you view things differently, and you need to be able to disagree without being disagreeable, without becoming disrespectful, without shutting down, without being dismissive, without being easily frustrated, without leaving right. These are things that are really important.

Speaker 1: 33:07

You know, I have stopped working with people who I think very highly of, who I think are smart, who I think are gifted, who I think you know literally can build a tower of Babel if they put their mind like just great people, because they don't know how to be. Disagreed with Everything can't turn into this big thing. Everything can't be an hour long debate back and forth If I don't agree with you. I can't do that in this, in this age and stage of my life, right, and so sometimes it's just better to say you know what? We probably should not do business together and that's okay. I love you, I think you're great, you're amazing. For the sake of our friendship. Let's not do this together.

Speaker 1: 33:52

I've been in that place, you know, because being able to be disagreed with is a skill, it's an art. You know, there are plenty of times when I've talked about them on this podcast where I have thought we should go in one direction and my husband has been like I don't think so, and here's why. And we've been able to go back and forth in a calm, respectful, um manner, when one person is not so bent on things being their way that they can't let go. You know, and it has been so healing, honestly in a business relationship to be able to be disagreed with, or be able to disagree with someone and it not turn into anything. You know me and my manager.

Speaker 1: 34:39

We talk through things and sometimes he'll have a different perspective than me and I have a different perspective and because we know the goal is the same, we have the same goal. We listen to each other differently and I'll even, you know, a lot of times I will back down, I'll be like you know what? Let's try it your way. This is not a hill I'm willing to die on. Let's try it that way, you know, because there's been times where I've been very wrong or times when neither one of us was wrong and there was just a different way to try it, you know. Or times when my way made sense for a season, but now we need to try it a different way.

Speaker 1: 35:16

And so I think it's very important to be able to be to disagree without becoming disagreeable, to disagree without becoming childish and petty and, you know, without shutting down and saying, fine, but you don't take my, you don't take my advice, I'm not going to, I'm not going to say anything anymore, I'm not going to help anymore. Like you know, people have walked away. People have walked away from things because their opinion or their advice or their suggestion wasn't taken, and you really can forfeit your eternal impact because you're worried about the fact that someone didn't take your suggestion this time. It doesn't mean they won't take it next time. You know what I mean and you can even experience that in church. You know what I mean and we you can even experience that in church. You can experience that at work.

Speaker 1: 36:07

Like you need to be able to be disagreed with, you need to be able to still be um? Uh of service, even when your suggestion is not taken. It's super important, you know the last thing I'll share. Well, last two things I'll share about partnering are super important.

Speaker 1: 36:29

One I need partners who are curious. Curiosity is very important to me in partnership, and here's what I mean by that. A person who is not curious will be fine with you doing everything, with you coming up with every new doing everything, with you coming up with every new idea, with you coming up with every marketing scheme, with you figuring out the answer to every problem. Why is this not working? Why is our audience not connecting? A person who is not curious will let you do all of that. Okay, cool. Well, let me know what you think I could never do that. I need to be partners with someone who also cares, even if they don't have the skill or the the, the they don't think about. You know things the way I do. I need someone who actually cares to try to say hey, I was thinking about this, I saw this video. Check this out. Maybe this is something we can do differently, maybe this is something we need to work on.

Speaker 1: 37:20

You know, recently my husband was like I think we need to work on the titles of the podcast, like we can keep the theme of into because you know, I'll just let myself in. So I like that title the episodes into this or into that, but when we put them on YouTube, maybe let's try talking. You know, leading with the topic of the podcast that people can relate to and then going into whatever the title is, the official title is I was like that's a great idea, babe, that's good. You know he's going to think about what, what AI solutions can help us. You know he may not be looking into whatever topics or segments that we're going to have or creative this or that, right, but he is going to use his skill, what he is good at, what is natural to him, in order to make the podcast better, because he's curious. He's curious at how to get better at what he does. I cannot tell you the amount of hours this man has spent researching cameras, researching lenses, researching lights, researching how to them, researching how to edit all this stuff, going back into the recesses of stuff he learned in high school and college in terms of tech to contribute to what we're doing.

Speaker 1: 38:32

A curiosity, a curiosity that allows him to show up. Well, you know I am a very curious person. My curiosity shows up differently. I'm curious about people. I'm curious about the human experience differently. I'm curious about people. I'm curious about the human experience. I'm curious about the arts. I'm curious about what makes people tick. I'm curious about why, you know, john Coltrane still sells and um streams the numbers that he does, right? What is it about that? That connected, why can we watch a movie from 50, 60, 70 years ago? You know, and still feel connected? Why? I'm curious about those things, right, I'm curious about why humans connect to the arts, the way that they do. That informs the way that I show up, right. But the curiosity of a financial partner who says, okay, how can we make sure this podcast is lucrative? What can we make sure this podcast is lucrative? What can we do? Who can we partner with? What are the brands that would benefit from being mentioned on your podcast? That's also a curiosity, right, that's also a form of curiosity.

Speaker 1: 39:34

So, being in partnership with people who ask questions, who get advice, who look for mentorship. You know, there are people in your life who are doing something that you really want to do and you out here trying to just white knuckle it Ask them, ask them. I can't tell you how many people I offer advice to that just will not ask me and I'm like I'm doing exactly what you're trying to do. Let me help you. At least ask me. Like you know, these things are important. Curiosity is what will help you get to where you need to go. And, last but not least, I think the biggest and most important part of partnership in any relationship, but specifically in the media, entertainment, influencer world, if you're going to partner in business with people, you have to make sure they love their role and they don't want your role.

Speaker 1: 40:28

One of the biggest things that makes my partnerships work is that the people that I'm working with don't want to be me. They're like, oh, I could never do all of that. I could never get up, sit up there, smile, kicking and cackling, asking all these questions, these questions that, oh, please, like, I don't want to be on nobody's stage, I don't want to be in front of anybody's camera and it works. You know why? Because I don't want to do what they do. I don't want to sit down and figure out all the logistics and the numbers and I don't want to edit and I don't want to. I don't want to do none of that. I want to sit in front of this camera and laugh and have a good time and research my research and ask my questions. We don't want to do each other's thing.

Speaker 1: 41:05

So there's no jealousy, there's no frustration, there's no competition, because there is a level of understanding that, wow, what this person does is special and unique and important. I respect it, I revere it on some levels, but they got it, they're good. You know, a lot of times in entertainment and this can happen with friendship, this can happen in relationships you know people will be jealous of what you have, of what you bring to the table. People will want to do what you're doing, but they're hiding that behind the fact that they're doing something else for you in the moment. Right, and it doesn't mean that you can't be. You know I can't tell you how many PAs I know and you know background actors want to be in, you know, want to be. They aspire to be something different, but they have accepted that this is where they are right now.

Speaker 1: 41:54

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a deep seated desire to be there and almost a an envy. You, why? Who are you? Why do you deserve it and I don't? Why do you have it and I don't have it? You know we got to be careful when partnering with people who don't accept their role and who want to be, um, something that they're not. You know, this has messed people's relationships up in partnering and I've spoken to people who were like, all of this time they really hated me, they were really jealous of me, you know. They were jealous of my marriage, they were jealous of the money, they were jealous of this or that. All this, all this time, I'm thinking we working together for the same thing. You gotta really discern people's character and really discern, um, you know their motives. I remember Oprah saying the reason that her and Gail are able to be best friends is because Gail doesn't want her life. Gail doesn't look at her life and say, oh, I want that and I want. Now Gail has done similar things. She has her own show. She, you know she does her own thing, she does her own interviews, but she didn't want Oprah's life in the time that she was doing that.

Speaker 1: 43:05

And so it's important that you surround yourself in partnership and friendship, relationship, business with people who understand their role and don't want yours, who champion what you do, who celebrate what you do, who, who you know are proud of you but are not envious of what you are doing. You know. Ultimately, partnership supposed to make things easier. Partnership supposed to make things lighter. Partnership supposed to do what the scripture said, which is, if one falls down, the other can help them up, but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. If two lie down, they can keep warm. Partnership is supposed to be mutually beneficial.

Speaker 1: 43:52

So if you are in partnership in any way right now whether that be relational, business, spiritual and you find that the only person benefiting is the other person, or the only person benefiting is you other person, or the only person benefiting is you, and you need to do some introspection and you need to do, you know, some changing and showing up better in that space. I really want to encourage you to let yourself into partnership in this way and see how much it changes your life. Listen, this has been another episode of I'll Just Let Myself In with your girl, lish Speaks. I hope that this has encouraged you. If it has, please send it to someone else, share it with someone else, share it with the person you're in partnership with, or share it with the person you're going into partnership with, so you guys can begin to have a conversation about the type of partnership that you want.

Speaker 1: 44:44

I always say if you love this podcast, please share it, please rate it, please review it, please tell me, let me know how you feel about it. We also take letters in at speakers at lishspeakscom. Is that the right address? Yes, I keep forgetting it, but we always take emails in at speakers at lish speakscom. Um, it will really give you a chance, even if you want to just tell me how you feel about something. If you want a question, if you want it to be run on air and you want to remain anonymous, you can share that as well.

Speaker 1: 45:15

Um, but I, if you want to send in topics, things you would like me to talk about on the podcast, I would be so, so, so happy to to receive those about on the podcast. I would be so, so, so happy to receive those. But it is so encouraging for us to continue to meet together like this each week. Listen, I hope that something that I said today informs and influences the way that you partner in the future. And y'all know the drill Meet us back, same time, same place, next week. I just let myself in Peace.